I'm not so worried about pornography but posting tweets without a #sportball tag so I can filter them out should be a banning offence.

"Massive Attack break World record" Wow!! What? number of attendees? 32000, so no. Most number of artists on a stage? No. Longest ever performance? No. Greenest and lowest CO2 emissions. 😂😂 Ah Bristol, don't ever change. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Putin tried to murder Zelenskyy and his wife and children at the start of the war. But, yea, blowing up Putin's house would be truly awful 🙄 www.telegraph.co.uk/world-news/2...

My biggest news story disappointment this Xmas? Given the spate of lorry thefts by ghost drivers, the fact noone stole a delivery of Stollen cake as the headline would have been, yes, "Stollen stolen". Life is a string of disappointments.

Our Xmas tree had grown an angry tail

Bad: new cat let out for first time runs out onto fast road. Extra bad: anxious child, our of our sight, decides to follow and recover it. 😬😬😬

Cats and Xmas trees This is it's why we can't have nice things at Christmas 😖

Santa reconnaissance elf, cunningly disguised as our cat, spotted and makes a run for it.

Reading the Naval Prize Act 1864. By god it's riveting stuff

Lammy is a fucking twat. He seems to think a jury trial is a legal version of Morris dancing - an eccentric archaic tradition that's fun but not that important so we can just drop it. www.telegraph.co.uk/politics/202...

SNOW! #SY7 #uksnow

Honestly the Telegraph's rabid hated of the BBC is verging on the comic. Next headline: "Did the BBC create cancer? Shocking internal memo reveals its responsibility for this plague of death" www.telegraph.co.uk/books/non-fi...

Why do politicians still do the photo "pointy" thing? All this says to me is "I'll fuck you up if write anything bad mate"

Stocking up on popcorn for this one. www.engadget.com/gaming/union...

I've eaten these, in Hakodate fish market in Japan, the meat is oddly sweet. If I'd known this I'd have been able to grunt "Braaaainz!" gizmodo.com/sea-urchins-...

bwhahaha. Oh my.🤣 "The company mistakenly included documents ... Details were written in white text on a white background but were spotted by staff at the regulator." www.theguardian.com/society/2025...

Someone is turning mushrooms into high frequency low power memristors?! WTAF?! journals.plos.org/plosone/arti...

Genius app error message #154: "something went wrong" ffs

This Apple Liquid Glass theme is pretty much like something for kids. Not really impressed

Don't try looking cute new kitty. 20 fleas and counting.

We got new kitteh!! Cuuute

Listening to some idiot bleating about how a blockchain can provide accountability for the supply chain in fashion. Bizarre that three are people peddling this crap in 2025.

Just a reminder: leave a slip of paper with all your passwords and pins somewhere/with someone. Your executor and family will really appreciate it. Just spent /ages/ accessing locked Apple devices for someone who mistakenly thought he'd live forever & I got lucky luckily.

Thanks for getting me the death penalty Dad, love you ❤️ www.telegraph.co.uk/us/news/2025...

Reading all the commentary in the US about the Kirk shooting and I've come to the realisation that what we actually witnessed was, in reality, the second killing of Jesus, not a right wing extremist.

Oh lordy Peter, again?! Third time not so lucky for you: dodgy loans, dodgy passports, dodgy mates. www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cz...

this is my kind of choir, do they need a second Bass? I do get a bit bored with Agnus Dei sometimes. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

The government deliberately timed the emergency alert to fuck up my afternoon nap. Starmer hates this country.

wait, I need to age check to DM?! fuck right off. The "Won't Somebody Think of the Children" crowd are Disneyfying the UK Internet

Is it ok to be glad Rayner has gone solely because of her irritating smirk?

I've definitely reached that stage of life where it's funerals all the time not marriages. Another friend has just popped off to join the eternal bus queue in the sky. Brother-in-law last week, cat the week before. Clearing my browser history every week now.

We got this present for our boy’s 8th birthday. Embarrassed to admit how many decades since I used one in anger.

Unpleasant of the BBC to show us a picture of the piece of cancerous skin removed. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Ah Lawrence renaissance man. At last, a comedy character #thearchers

"water sommelier"?! Water. Sommelier. JesusFC I've heard it all. And look at that idiotic hipster flying his grift; says it all. Try to charge me £19 for water and you'll get mine for free. #OldManShoutsAtTheClouds www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle...

Meta began poaching talent from ... OpenAI, promising... millions of dollars. OpenAI executives at the time described the feeling as though “someone has broken into our home and stolen *something*.” You aren't a person, you're a thing, a thing they own. gizmodo.com/metas-alread...

The Wow! space signal may just be a suddenly warmed cold hydrogen cloud? I am so sad. WhyTF is it /never/ aliens? why? Damn you science. gizmodo.com/astronomers-...

It's a terrible thing to admit but I always cheers when a SpaceX rocket blows up; I'm aware delulu Musk has little to do with actually running the company, but it's tainted by association - so yay! www.theguardian.com/science/2025...

Bit disappointed with Claude Code: doesn't $60 on api credits to churn out a 70p line Bash script that still doesn't work properly. And it does the whole "OK fixed that. It all works well now" "let me just fix that" loop on the same errors. I'm going to have to do this old school aren't I? 😖

I accidentally did the docker equivalent of rm -rf * Am feeling a bit silly. I have a lot of work to do

We made a stupid law that was easy to evade. Let's not fix the law let's make it even more intrusive. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

I have upload pdfs of Star Wars books into Notebook LLM as well as Andor and Mandalorian season plot summaries. Notebook provides awesomes summaries and links plot points together. I have come to realise how sad I am to have done this: 30 years ago I've spend Sat night getting drunk & womanising 🤷

The orange buffoon had been played by Putin like a clarinet. Putin supposedly even called him "Boss" playing up to his Zeppelin sized ego. It was all so predictable ; poor old Ukraine www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/c2...

Camping at Erw Glas near Conwy in Wales; skies clear. Boys have seen 2 Perseide meteors, we think. They are v excited

Wife has a habit of doing a Scottish accent. She has no talent and it is awful: Dr Finlay with Rab C Nesbitt. I'm not Scots but it offends even me. Littlest hates it and in seriousness screams "Don't!! You will become Scottish"

I used gpt5 to write a fairly complex Bash script and after many many iterations over a day it just fucked it up. It did the same old looping... same error, apologising and doing it again. Hopeless. I used Claude Code and it produced a working script in one go. 😖🤷

Alternatively, God doesn't exist whether you have doubts or not.

A member of the Bar to rival myself. I could do with more details of biting the policeman though, I hope he drew blood?

"the $29bn of shares "will incentivize Elon to remain at Tesla" especially as "the war for AI talent is intensifying". What? Have I missed Musk's research papers on AI? The ones making him a leading AI researcher? Or are CEOs now AI "talent"?! ffs

Jeremy Corbyn's new party needs a name and it's trickier than you might think www.bbc.com/news/article... I've already told you: "Left Labour", joke name for a joke party.