Absolute fuck up of a cake.

The best solo in Ravel’s Bolero is the trombone. #fact

First new glasses in ten years. *is* this the right prescription?? Feeels weird.

🚨 Right now, Tommy Robinson is in London claiming to speak for us. It’s the ultimate distraction from the very real problems we face. But we know the truth: migrants aren’t the problem, far-right billionaires are. ✊ Share this post to make it clear: Tommy Robinson does not speak for us.

Two (2) of my friends had never come across Chinese takeaway chicken balls before. “Stunned” does not cover it.

Je suis le supercool.

Oh me oh my. The oven in the flat I'm staying in just asked if I was ready for it to install the software updates it had prepared for me?? I thought I was cooking meatballs, but clearly I am wrong.

Artist passes collected for @artisancreativeltd.bsky.social performing @brightonfringe.bsky.social this week! Exciting!

I’m at @brightonfringe.bsky.social this week with @artisancreativeltd.bsky.social Two different shows at Rotunda Theatre - first one TODAY! The rest through til Sunday. Info at www.artisan-creative.com/diary

Trans people have a right to the same healthcare we all need goodlawproject.org/s/ec0359

THE SEA!

Missed every Services down the M1, from when I realised I needed a wee, about 45 mins into the four-hour journey. And then on the M25, missed them too. Eventually stopped about 20 mins from my destination.

Not a day go bah without someone making a Star Wars pun online

Utterly, stunningly, outrageously behind with my To Do list, preparing for a very busy and long week coming up. But editing a very funny video (iidssm) is kinda making it worth it! (The video is on the To Do list, so it's legit.)

Imagine being the person whose job it is to insert the audience clapping, post-production, for House of Games. Wild.

Two door knobs tightened in one week. How exciting.

Oh now. Home made granary loaf, gone stale. Cut into cubes. A little olive oil, salt and pepper. In the oven to toast. A couple of spoons of pizza sauce left over from making a pizza. Aha! Dunk the crispy dry croutons into the tomato sauce. Delicious! If only I’d had a little fresh garlic too!

Actually, I'm doing TWO shows at Brighton Fringe next week. Tell your friends. Tell your enemies. We need to sell some tickets! 🎸 Gone to Look for America - Sat 9 & Sun 10 May, 3.45pm both days. gtlfa.co.uk

I'm doing a show at Brighton Fringe next week. Tell your friends. Tell your enemies. We need to sell tickets! 🎹 How to Survive and Thrive in an Impossible World - with a piano! Thu 7-10 May, 5.15pm. htsat.co.uk

Long before the recent revival of The High Life in the public consciousness, my own little nod to Steve and Sebastian has been in our @htsatwellbeing.bsky.social script... A childish disbelieving riposte, if ever there was one!

Ugh, complaining to bastard companies on the phone about their service makes me feel sick. Huge corporations with fuck tons of money, and the poor fuckers on the end of the phone who have to deal with people like me, because their money-hungry corporation is... money-hungry.

I just took action to ask my MP to push Ofcom to do its job. Email your MP today! stopfundinghate.info/get-involved...

Hilarious fun at @awkwardprods.co.uk Fit Prince (etc etc) tonight Congrats to @linuskarp.bsky.social and @suddenlyjoseph.bsky.social on a triumph!

*searches* can I sell a shredder on vinted

Sometimes, a packet of Mini Cheddars (original) just absolutely hits the spot.

Hard to deny that "Reach" by S Club 7 (Cathy Dennis and Andrew Todd) is a masterpiece of turn-of-the-century pop music. Everything about it is executed to perfection. Stunning.

Force the government to rip up the EHRC’s transphobic guidance. We have less than a month. Join us goodlaw.social/de78a7

Not sure my pizza dough should have been *that* liquid.

An utter joy and a delight to see The High Life Musical in Edinburgh tonight. Ten-year-old me would never have believed that, 32 years into the future, such a thing would be happening!

Well, the alarm fired up just as I started playing near the main entrance at QMC Nottingham, and stopped seconds after I finished my set just now. So I can only assume it was a “piano alarm”. If it was a fire alarm, certainly there was no indication we should be… leaving the building or anything.

Ooof. What a sour little easy peeler. #acheeksucker #thecheeksonmyface

Fuck Grantium7™️ and all who perpetuate the evils.

Just finished wrestling the £85k application project budget down to c. £35……… I wish one day to be able to actually ask for and get what these projects deserve, funding-wise. Alas, today is not that day.

You wouldn't know it from much of the coverage but Reform are now seven points lower in the polls, on average, than they were six months ago

Currently feel like the time is both too late and too early for what it should be. The clocks changing, in either direction, always fuck me up.

Shortest period ever that my car clock has been on the wrong time after the clock changed. Updated with 90 mins of the change. (Up in the middle of the night for another task.) Back to bed now.

Emotional. We turned up in our hundreds of thousands. With love, joy and hope in bucketloads. Know that today wasn’t the end of a journey, it was the beginning. This is how we’ll turn the tide against the far right. We outnumber them, now let’s outorganise them.

Accidentally made a fucking delicious chocolate cherry trifle today. Oops.

Today, we’re showing up. For our neighbours. Our friends. Our family. And anyone who has been scapegoated by the far-right. Half a million strong. Together. This is just the beginning. #Together

I can’t be there physically at the @togetheralliance.bsky.social march today in London with my @wearethemu.bsky.social colleagues, but I am there in spirit. #saynotothefarright #saynotofascism #fascismnothanks

Just ordered a replacement floor brush for my vacuum cleaner. 🤘 #rök

Red Dwarf series IV is also top-tier television.

Ahhh the terrible delight of working on an arts funding application, crafting an exciting & meaningful project. Delighted at the prospect of 1 day being able to deliver the actual project! But having to spend many unpaid days getting all together. 😪 The hideous form itself. 🤮 Then... the wait.

Delighted to see so many websites are dropping (or have dropped) the "share to Tw*tt*r" function. Let that hell hole burn itself to the ground.

The petition "United Kingdom to join the Creative Europe programme from 2027" is important to me! ✍️ Please sign it too: openpetition.org/uk/ukjoince

Parliament in Senegal adopted a bill on March 11 to double prison sentences to 10 years and criminalise speaking up for LGBT+ rights. The President still hasn’t signed it. Sign now to stop this anti-LGBT+ law: a.allout.org/s/Pa3jX/

A lot of people clap and cheer at Arkell v Pressdram style legal letters. But the most deadly legal letters are calm and polite, and this one is lethal.

Amazing story. Do read it if you're having trouble believing there's still goodness in the world.

This was dead nice. And it’s still pretty good on the second day.

Speaking Clock costs 40p a call from EE mobile. Useful to know when I was testing "does my phone work but at all" over the weekend. There's 80p I'm not getting back.