Widows Bay is so exceedingly mediocre. I can't wait until Stephen Root's character dies so that I can stop watching.

Oh no. Both Stephen Root AND Toby Huss are in this shitty show? I will, unfortunately, have to continue watching it then.

After a few years hiatus, a very good way for Doctor Who to return would be to have an episode with many charismatic and quirky characters involved in a whodunnit and you don't know which one is the new Doctor until the end.

Congrats to Brindy and the Carolina Hurricanes!

The Stanley Cup is safely - VERY safely - in the hands of the Tall Man from "Phantasm".

Today, I am celebrating the Knicks NBA Championship by watching 10 hours of Polish films. Krzysztof Kieślowski's "Dekalog". #knicks #poland #absurdity #periphery

Dear New York City, Please do not have the Knicks parade on Monday 6/15/26. I have a very important hair appointment scheduled downtown and I do not want my travel complicated. Sincerely, Jason T. Kocher

Congratulations to the Knicks. They are incredible players that unfortunately play for a city I hate that I live in...

I regret to inform everyone that... ...I have regained empathy. Oh dear...

Don't tell Krzysztof Kieślowski, but I chose to buy a Blu-ray of his series "Dekalog" instead of "Blackadder: Back and Forth". He's a huge Mr. Bean fan, so...

Trying very hard to get excited about buying a DVD of "Blackadder: Back & Forth". Much hemming and hawing.

Sure, sure... The Knicks game was amazing... But what about my super clever Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band joke?

I miss me.

I am learning to play the Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band's "The Intro and the Outro" on Didgeridoo.

This is the second time in the last few months where I've spontaneously had a strong urge to rewatch Krzysztof Kieślowski's "Dekalog" which I didn't LOVE love, but it keeps creeping back into my head every so often.

I believe the NBA Finals are rigged, a conspiracy to make it intolerable for me to continue living in New York City.

I was looking up ways to deal with a panic attack and Google suggested Laughter & Joy. That made me laugh. It didn't help.

I like to think of myself as the Chevy Chase of comedy.

I'm looking forward to reading "The Neverending Story" THE BOOK to learn why I should hate "The Neverending Story" THE MOVIE.

For research in writing my sequel to "The Neverending Story" - starring Beck and Bjork - I am rewatching "Raiders of the Lost Ark", "Dark City", and "Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday".

I deeply suspect that the Childlike Empress in "The Neverending Story" upon being named Moon Child by Bastion, while outwardly polite, couldn't help but mutter in her mind, "Oof."

Hey Google. Does "The Neverending Story" have a post-credits stinger?

In my sequel to "The Neverending Story" the hero rides Falkor the luckdragon to Wawa to buy a Powerball ticket.

Pretty sure Gmork's whole problem was just that someone named him Gmork. #theneverendingstory

I'm remaking "The Never Ending Story" exactly the same as it was. Shot for shot. But I'm going to spell all their names wrong.

I think one of the most important evolutionary traits, regardless of species, has got to be the ability to reproduce.

I'd like to think that if I was in TRON, I would fight for the users...but I don't know...

Can you imagine being such a huge fan of John Oliver that you're willing to go see him at a show where you'll also be forced to see Seth Myers perform? That's a true fan.

If you think you might actually be cake... You better be sure before you...

I am petitioning Congress to let Garak into the Q Continuum.

Andrew Robinson sighting in "Spider-Noir". I LOOOOOOOVE that man!

Who is your least-hated Care Bear?

Who is your least favorite member of The State?

Christopher Lloyd should play an old Lukas Haas in his biopic.

I have such chemistry.

I'm binging "Fernwood Tonight" to try to better remember Fred Willard's name.

While watching "The Man Who Fell to Earth" I put a bumper sticker on the back of my head that read: "I'd rather be watching 'Sleeper.'"

Rip Torn's character in "The Man Who Fell to Earth" should have been played by Charles Grodin instead. Denied seeing Charles Grodin's penis. The story of my life.

"The Man Who Fell to Earth" and "Drop Dead Fred" make for a great double feature.

It's a shame Buck Henry passed away. I'd like to see a boxing match between him and Mel Brooks.

I'm watching "The Man Who Fell to Earth" for the first time. Who in the hell would have sex with David Bowie? I just don't get it. Buck Henry though...

I'm going downtown to get a reverse Babalú. So many forms!

Looking at old pictures from the 1960s, I can't help but think that it was probably really smelly.

Incompatibly compatible, I think I think therefore I may as well be... ...even though I don't actually.

I have decided to become an inventor. I am working on creating the world's first disposable diamond. Any interested investors out there?

Tears Air & Signal Meat Bone Electricity Hardly Anyone Knows

I'm 1/4 Duck on my cousin's side...

Alright... Seriously though... Stephen Colbert is a massive talent... ...but late night is a sickeningly mediocre format.

You are the Guinan to my Q.

For every three Newhart homage endings, someone has to do a St. Elsewhere homage ending. Thems the rules.