Sprakling Twit
@spraklingtwit.bsky.social
📤 144
📥 69
📝 750
Live in a pot, deface currency
based on the visceral reaction of the room upon its unwrapping, I have determined the peak white elephant gift is a 12 pack of zero sugar monster energy drinks
2 days ago
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"no bitches? simple, go visit pagliussy" "but doctor..."
5 days ago
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they said it was impossible they said it couldn't be done that a man with such scrambled brains could never accomplish such a feat but here I am, standing atop the mountain, victorious (I logged a task in Asana for the first time)
8 days ago
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I may have just had the worst/greatest marketing idea of all time
11 days ago
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how it feels to be a Pepsi drinker surrounded by Coke heads
14 days ago
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me going for the last slice of pizza and making sure no one else wanted it
17 days ago
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haha what a funny joke, I wonder what the clip actually says ...oh
add a skeleton here at some point
19 days ago
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"you look like you lift" thanks it's a load-bearing part of my personality
20 days ago
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me: I have finally learned how to say the word "no" everyone else:
20 days ago
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becoming radicalized by the fact that a bag of doritos and a 2 liter of mountain dew is now over $10
25 days ago
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"what are ya lookin' at, smoothskin?"
add a skeleton here at some point
26 days ago
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if I make any reference to getting back into any MMORPG between Thanksgiving and Christmas, my followers have my blanket permission to come into my home and take my computer away
27 days ago
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you love mamdani I love domme mommies we're not...shit, wait, we probably are the same, actually
about 1 month ago
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I need the teacher from Whiplash to come out before every metal concert I attend to show these nerds how to clap in time
about 1 month ago
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not only did I do karaoke 100% sober last night, I was the only person of the night to get a standing ovation from a room full of 60 people I am becoming unstoppable
about 1 month ago
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me whenever I finish my current caffeinated beverage
about 1 month ago
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visit pagliacci
about 1 month ago
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please, I'm just trying to go to work, not fucking Narnia
about 1 month ago
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Trump: After eight months, I have decided to stop stabbing you with this knife Trump supporters: thank you, sir 🫡
about 1 month ago
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how I feel after telling people with anxiety to just chill out
about 1 month ago
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in the cave, straight up "sporin' it" and by it, let's just say, ha ha mycelium
about 1 month ago
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this sounds like something the crowd would start chanting at a Trump rally
about 1 month ago
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the initial batch has arrived and none of you are ready for it
add a skeleton here at some point
about 2 months ago
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misgendered? oh, is there a Mr. Gendered?
about 2 months ago
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it's so sad that dick cheney died of ligma
about 2 months ago
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one like and I become a cardigan guy for the winter
about 2 months ago
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add a skeleton here at some point
about 2 months ago
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oh you're a leftist? name three annoying leftists, then
about 2 months ago
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I would like to recognize Einstein Bros for revolutionizing the fast casual bagel industry Through what I can only assume is an incredible feat of science, they have managed to remove even the concept of flavor from their food
about 2 months ago
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I wish I loved anything as much as ChatGPT loves em dashes
about 2 months ago
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this is a drill tweet
about 2 months ago
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my waffle cone just snapped in half when I went in for a second bite of ice cream and I fear I may never trust again
about 2 months ago
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I am definitely NOT graham platner by the way
add a skeleton here at some point
about 2 months ago
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reposted by
Sprakling Twit
A.R. Moxon
about 2 months ago
Always thought it was sad that Ayn Rand—one of the most successful authors of children's fantasy books of all time—had little enough saved in the bank in her old age that she had to rely on public assistance until her death, but I'm glad it was there for her.
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frantically googling "how to make all my friends sign NDAs that cover the last 15 years"
about 2 months ago
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oh look, I found your mom's favorite hard candy
about 2 months ago
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jk rowling naming irish characters like "this is potat o'famine"
about 2 months ago
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why the fuck is cardamom so expensive
2 months ago
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now welcoming investors for my groundbreaking wartime anime reboot, "bridge across the river kawaii"
2 months ago
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I bet this dude has a mondo weenie
2 months ago
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why the fuck does it even go that low
3 months ago
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overheard in London just now: "oh SHIT you don't have foreskin, do you?"
3 months ago
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do we think it's a matter of weeks or months before the Trump administration embraces the advanced legal strategy known as "terroristsayswhat"
add a skeleton here at some point
3 months ago
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the tourist vibes I aspire to
3 months ago
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you never truly realize just how much of a yapper you are until you fully lose your ability to speak to quote my partner: "I've never seen you get ratio'd so hard before"
3 months ago
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I went to the cuddle pub and everyone knew you
3 months ago
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this should be the universal symbol for unisex bathrooms
3 months ago
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it's just...so beautiful
3 months ago
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struggling to decide if I want to conduct my studies in the bone building or the royal school of mines
3 months ago
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introduced as WHAT
3 months ago
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