Priests of forgotten deities are on their own thing

Somewhere in my chambers I have hidden the accursed trinket

My boss, Big Bone, needs to keep me in line as I am the snarkiest smart ass in his shadow fortress

skeletal walkers

The puzzles in my dungeon reward gold and some enchanted sandals

The weekend status effect is wearing off

My skeleton will one day become a powerful wizard or fearsome cleric

Skeletons can kiss

My fucken badass friend just cast lightning at a snake. Fucker blew right up

A goose is loose in the dungeon and all the denizens are chasing it and it keeps getting away 😂

The music in my dungeon can be described as scary, synthy, and mild Italian

Perhaps if I were to slay mighty beast

When falling into traps, people often say various things like “uh-oh” or “woah” or “not again!” I find this side of the business entirely charming

If there is a ghost in your home you need to show them the door. The trick is that ghosts don’t use regular doors, they use soul doors. This is sometimes confusing because physical locations of soul doors may overlap with a regular door. In conclusion, troubleshooting ghosts is a unique challenge

Me and my skeleton friends had a lovely time with you this weekend. Stop by the dungeon any time!

Q: How many necromancers does it take to to change a lightbulb? A: Trick question - none. They would have their skeleton thralls do it if they desired. But they would never desire it, because the dark is their cradle, their only sanctuary

Tha faeries putting on their “fuck your crops” boots

Good luck adventurers! it’s happy Halloween today

I need to think of some spooky stuff a skeleton can say on Halloween

I am a Skelton

Spooky has begun

The dungeon is legendarily dangerous as you go around in there

It was very awkward in the dungeon today but I let it roll right off my bony skeleton back. That’s what getting things done is all about.

Skeletons are not affected by spicy

One of the most interesting things about tiny skeletons is how well they take to climbing

Red potion and red lotion get ya ready for the motion. This statement cannot be taken as sexual coming from me as I have no glands. This is regular motion, like in battle or jumping. I mean, I still like to hook up now and then but it’s more for the laugh. That’s my thing. The laughter, nya hahhh!!

Pulling thistles from my tattered cloak

It’s creeps night at the dungeon bar. Most people can get in free

Monsters can gather and make nasty

Most skeletons can only magically hear, if they can hear at all. Strangely enough, magical hearing is not as accurate as regular hearing. Some skeletons read lips, which is ironic

Revenants are scary even to skeletons

The townsfolk are fooled by even the merest glamours. Infiltrating the merchant docks will be a cinch

Dungeons are carefully crafted for dreadful adventure

I must attend to many traps this evening. The dungeon requires countless traps

Skeletons like me are animated by Dark Forces. We can perform all sorts of tricks in service to our master

My people

Posting out of character for an important announcement. I am about to replace the second toilet seat at two different dwelling places within a 24h period. Both were a complete surprise upon my arrival. Life is a roller coaster folks. I hope you are all enjoying the ride this morning

The spell Turn Undead always makes me go the other way. It’s annoying but there is nothing that can be done

If a necromancer commanded me to dance around all crazy nuts I would pretty much have to do it

Q: How many skeletons does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Trick question. Skeletons do not have eyes and therefore would never screw in a lightbulb unless commanded to by their necromantic master. In this case, we must also consider the necromancer as the subject of this quandary.

Nothing quite like spore induced madness to switch up the vibe

V busy getting the dungeon ready for holloween

I am hearing tales of the return of the herald of the glove of fate

Today I was nearly carried away by a cockatrice. Were it not for my protective orbs, its crushing dive smash or bone rending claw technique would surely have sent me back to the Planar Nexus. Additionally, I was forced to take heed of its petrifying screeches

(ASMR) skeleton-cleric casually summons 2-3 shadow motes in resonance puzzle chamber while waiting for next wave of adventurers

Kiss my white bony ass! I am a skeleton

For unexplained reasons, spells are currently banned in the dungeon. We are all still using spells tho. If management wants to enforce this they better be ready for some spells

The dungeon is literally crawling with the most insidious of monsters, clueless management/administrative types waiting for their retirement. Beware their slothful ire

As a pointing skeleton, I often frighten a host of onlookers and passers-by

The dreaded spell known as Radiant Love is cast onto the lands in the evening air