If you're a normal, healthy human, you have a basic heart rate at about 80 beats per minute. If you're an Etruscan shrew (smallest mammal in the world) it's more like 1,500 bpm. These critters live there whole lives in a rave.

I call bullshit.

The tallest mountain on planet Earth is not Mount Everest. Mount Everest is the tallest mountain *above sea level.* The actual tallest is Mauna Kea in Hawaii. from tip to tail it is 10,211 meters. Mount Everest is a paltry 8,849 meters.

My neighbor just sneezed again. Jesus Christ! She is rattling the fucking walls. You go girl! She is breaking the place apart with the loudest sneezes I have ever heard.

I think this is my favorite picture I've ever drawn.

Also drawn in a psychiatric unit, and I don't like this either.

The Shining, but with a cow instead.

I don't like this drawing I did. Eyeball horror is bad horror.

Very much my favorite animal of all time. "HAVE YOU HEARD OF OUR SAVIOR, JESUS CHRIST?!!"

At just a little longer at 1,491 km is the shortest distance from Australia to New Zealand. I like to be in 10 km races. And considering a distance almost 150 times longer still feels pretty big. Considering marsupials likely originated in North America, where we only have one species, but the best.

Michigan has a longer coastline than Florida. Michigan has 5,292 km of shoreline. Florida only has 2,172 km of shoreline. Which is how we get our nickname, America's Best Coast. Because fuck the west coast. I lived there for years. It's super overrated.

Much too on point.

I just got hit by a car. I was at a crosswalk, and dutifully waited until the light went green and some idiot pulled into a right turn and clipped me. Hit me in the leg. And being assholes, sped off. I'm not hurt. Might get a bruise in a couple hours. They were accelerating from a stop.

Most Canadians live south of Seattle. In fact, most live closer to me than any number of Americans. Canada is a lot of empty. Almost more people like in Tokyo than in all of Canada. But Canada is great.

Marseille in France is further north than where I live. Marseille is at the 43.3 latitude marker. Ann Arbor is at the 42.3 marker. But while we are blanketed with snow, Marseille is getting beach tourists.

I've always hated Ohio All the trash in the Midwest filters south. governor.ohio.gov/media/news-a...

I live in a very Muslim-populated part of the US. I think maybe the most so outside of NYC. And I know Muslims have "salah," five times a day you are to pray. But when is interesting, as traditionally it's based on the sun, but I live in the North where the sun comes later and sets sooner....

What is "east" and what is "west" is marked by the 180th meridian. Which happens to bisect the Aleutian Islands in Alaska. So technically Alaska is the most western and most eastern part of the United States.

Back in the 16th century, a man named Fracastorius wrote a poem called "The French Disease." He was writing about syphilis. But the French were calling it "The Italian Disease" at the same time. Both wanted to blame the other for outbreaks. Practice safe sex, everyone.

My neighbor is screaming. She seems not to be in any kind of danger, in fact she sounds like she's having fun about it, but she's still screaming. Whatever. Not passing judgment and thankfully our walls are not that thin. Okay. Passing some judgment. Maybe she's listening to screamo.

I'm off cetaceans for the moment, instead into slow worms. They are lizards that just said "screw it" to having limbs. They have none. But they aren't snakes. They have eyelids and two lungs of equal size. Snakes don't have those. Sadly, they only live in Europe.

There is a reason we had not used military intervention against people committing alleged criminal acts.

Or take this cutie. Not a hedgehog, or a mouse. More closely related to an elephant or a manatee. Very uncommon, as they only live in Madagascar. Tenrecs are adorable.

Other things that are actually related to elephants. In a distant way. Most of their ancestors lived underwater.

These cuties are nearly blind. Golden moles have extremely poor vision, but they are masters underground. This bad boy is actually more closely related to an elephant that it is to a rodent like a mouse. They're also not true moles.

I say, "egregious lying cunt" with all the power those words allow.

You goddamn know when you enter an MRI. It hums and sucks the life out of you for like 30-40 minutes. it kills you slowly and methodically with it's droning powers.

This is a bloody lie. I get MRI tests done often as I have epilepsy. They want to see into my brain. In fact I'm a test subject. I have never had an MRI for any of my other conditions. An MRI is not a casual test. It's expensive as shit, and you only get one for a purpose--like, reoccurring seizures

Our beautiful babes, we love them.

Do other animals have language? I think this an easy "yes." Whales. Sperm whales and orcas have communication that is learned. If you're a baby orca you have to learn the chirps & blips. To me, that's the definition of "language." All animals make sounds. But only humans and whales invent it.

Whales speak a language, and they teach their language to whale babies. If you are this cutie, you learned to speak by listening to your mom, who is swimming beside you.

Am I scared of these birds? You bet your sweet ass I am. Y'all are gonna eat them for the holiday, but I've encountered them in the wild before. And believe me, they are all beaks and talons. Mock them, but they will fuck you up. They are vicious.

If you really want to fuck around, tell someone that you were born in the same era as dinosaurs. You will not be wrong. This cutie is in every fact, a dinosaur. All birds are dinosaurs; you cannot exit your clade by evolving to be cute over terrifying. Although, if you've ever had an encounter

The oldest things we can see now, thanks to the James Webb and other telescopes is almost 14 billion years old. The universe is 3,136 million times older than I am currently. I feel more youthful now.

I love language and nerdy shit. When I was a kid I apparently used to approach strangers and say "I can spell 'motorcycle' very fast, want to hear?" And indeed I could. And I still can, which makes me think my mom's stories were true. Less than two seconds... I know. I just timed myself.

I love the Andromeda galaxy. Someday we will be together. But I love that this photo is pure history. This is what Andromeda looked like two and a half million years ago. Because that's how many light years it is from us. Humans didn't even exist.

Do you know Olber's paradox? Basically, if the universe were eternal and unchanging, then so would be starlight. And if stars were eternal and unchanging all visible light at night would be nothing but bright stars. It isn't because time changes, stars die out.

Breathe Owl Breathe "Your Cape" is making me cry my eyes out yet again. This song will beat you down, smile and perfect you.

I like it here. This is the only place I've ever lived where race-based humor is acceptable. I just went down to the corner store and a middle-aged black woman got to the counter ahead of me, she said "sorry, a rude black woman just cut you off" and I said, "better than a rude white woman."

Opossums have opposable feet! Did you know this? I didn't until about five minutes ago. They have hands for feet. They have a thumb there. Even more so now, my favorite animal.

Virginia possums do growl. And they are very fierce about it. You look at them and you think they must new like kittens. But they don't. They make some angry calls.

Marsupials are native to North America. Believed to evolved in the late Cretaceous. Then they went south into South America (which is where most marsupials actually live) and eventually to Australia when we were still somewhat attached.

1 of #365Minerals 🧪⚒️ Quetzalcoatlite: - Named after Quetzalcoatl, an Aztec and Toltec god of the sea, due to its sea-blue colour - Forms in the oxidised zone of tellurium-bearing hydrothermal deposits #minerals - This below is a co-type specimen (one of the specimens used to define the species)

I bought a bag of Vitner's "Crunchy Kurls" and oh my fucking gods is this the most disgusting thing ever. "Naturally and artificially hot cheese flavored corn snack." This is the worst thing I've ever eaten. How do you fuck up mock Cheetos? Tastes like vomit. How? Why? You had one job to do.

Oh hell yes! First proper snow of the season. Not technically the first snow, but this shit is sticking around unlike the dusting from earlier. The time has come.

Humans don't come from eggs. But we come from an amniotic sac, which sounds way cooler than saying we come from eggs.

Being a placental mammal is pretty awesome. We're a very cool group of animals. I didn't hatch, my mom was like "just chill out in here for a few months. We got this" And I am related to raccoons and ground squirrels.

Being of s species with a placenta is awesome.

"we are defined as amniotes because our embryonic development includes key membranes, such as the amniotic sac that surrounds the fetus, which are also found in the amniotic eggs of our ancestors." I love this! You and me, we were all at some point kind of egg-like.

I am very enthusiastic that humans are amniotes but it doesn't play well on first dates.