i wonder what george constanza is thinking on this rn

boob

anita baker: boomin' out the 87' buick (bitch)

an artist that starts off every song with "one two" but in a different language every song

his business only advertised on the back of harris teeter receipts

saw someone walking their dog outside. likely place for a dog to be walking.

beetle: straight buggin'

omw to bother everyone (i'm just sending my friends texts once every few days. they're not bothered)

mustard on my cheetos❗

explaining to my grandchild the concept of pog

left that shit in the past. specifically in the toilet.

i haven't heard about a single song of the summer this summer. sad.

no one sets a bucket filled with water trap like they used to

i haven't eaten food in 3 years. why does my stomach hurt.

gullible was written on the ceiling again and i, once again, read it.

my ops (my minecraft server admins) are at it again (they're being good admins)

buying storage units to flip them are going to be the next big thing within the next 6 months. i believe it.

happy valentines day everyone.

we need to reclaim bazinga

poggy woggy...

big glasses loves lobbying for LED headlights

my favorite bit on dating apps rn is telling people "you look like you could file your taxes"

"did you just they/them a car" yes. it's a car.

searching for a new place and god do i wish google reviews were consistent. will i be the one to make the review? no. never. will i be the one to complain about the lack of reviews? yes. always and forever.

coworker, age of my dad, said ttyl to me in slack. maybe corporate america isn't as scary as I thought

things i've realized in this life: 1. nobody's perfect 2. I gotta work it 3. again and again til I get it right

guys, i'm pregnant. it's a them.

side hustles per capita

greek yogurt would be so good if it wasn't greek yogurt and was actually just pizza

asking chatgpt how do I flirt

another day, another time where i remember my student number from elementary school

"blessed at the thrift" dog you just found a sweat stained nike shirt that would have been in the old navy clearance bin. chill out.

working at an IKEA in the gnomes department. hoping to see a chess piece shaped like a parabola.

off that $35 bagel bite trying to get lost in a madagascar 2 soundtrack with notes of skrillex in the left ear.

slap a ps1 logo onto something and it's cool and epic retro i can't wait until 2 decades from now when people do that with the tiktok logo.

when my friend "Na Sigh", who knows mend magic, needs a task: "go mend Na Sigh"

band called 3rd nipple

bro i'm so horse i could hungry....

last time i ordered chicken lo mein it was 90% noodles. this time it is 90% onion + chicken. i miss the noodle days of yore...

idk about y'all, having an ominous, potentially haunted, suit of armor loom over my guests is one of my goals in life

score higher than me on a test: you're a nerd score lower than me on a test: you're an idiot score same score as me on a test: you're just like me fr

god help me tomorrow morning when he figures out all i did was eat oranges and stim out instead of work

M.A.A.D. city but now it's "every time i'm in the street I hear gyatt gyatt gyatt gyatt gyatt."

things we straight doin: your mom

the amount of times this past week i've had to relisten to 'doin your mom' by ray william johnson to stop an adhd stim is embarrassing.

i move my clean clothes pile between my bed and my chair just like everyone else does

the anime major is so good but even anime can't get me to like baseball.

got a typewriter twoish months ago. did some art with it :) #typewriter #art

life has not gotten easier since I got my library card. it isn't hard, but it ain't easy with this much access to literature.

things I am: dwarf things I am doing: digging a hole