eugene
@eugene290390.bsky.social
📤 45437
📥 36840
📝 2132
And I must not forget, we must not forget, that we are human beings.
Vandal found!!! Snopes rated TRUE!
www.snopes.com/fact-check/t...
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Did Trump's motorcade drive through newly painted reflecting pool?
A White House official posted a video of the motorcade crossing the landmark on May 7, 2026.
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/trump-motorcade-reflecting-pool/?utm_source=mail.snopes.com&utm_medium=newsletter&utm_campaign=video-shows-trump-motorcade-driving-through-reflecting-pool&_bhlid=b3695245c70f596e24b6c76dfff011be5bab1890
1 day ago
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Vance Furious After ChatGPT Keeps Recommending Obama’s Nuclear Deal
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
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Vance Furious After ChatGPT Keeps Recommending Obama’s Nuclear Deal
Vance asked the bot, “What is the best possible nuclear deal with Iran?,” only to have it extoll Obama’s 2015 accord.
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/vance-furious-after-chatgpt-keeps?r=4uj23k&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email
2 days ago
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Trump Orders Rubio to Distract from Algae by Skinny-Dipping in Reflecting Pool
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
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Trump Orders Rubio to Distract from Algae by Skinny-Dipping in Reflecting Pool
“Little Marco, you’ve got to take one for the team.”
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/trump-orders-rubio-to-distract-from?r=4uj23k&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email
4 days ago
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This alone is grounds for impeachment!
4 days ago
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Ayatollah’s ‘Art of the Deal’ Becomes #1 Bestseller
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
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Ayatollah’s ‘Art of the Deal’ Becomes #1 Bestseller
“Don’t just be a leader,” the book jacket urges. “Be a Supreme one!”
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/ayatollahs-art-of-the-deal-becomes?r=4uj23k&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email
9 days ago
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It's a fucking miracle!
9 days ago
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Iran Agrees to End War in Exchange for Never Having to Talk to JD Vance Again
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
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Iran Agrees to End War in Exchange for Never Having to Talk to JD Vance Again
“All the bombs we dropped on those crazy bastards couldn’t do what the sound of JD’s voice did,” Trump said.
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/iran-agrees-to-end-war-in-exchange?r=4uj23k&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email
10 days ago
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Trump Turns Eighty But Claims He Has Brain of Four-year-old
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
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Trump Turns Eighty But Claims He Has Brain of Four-year-old
Doctors at his last exam told him that his cognition had scored at a four-year-old level, he said.
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/trump-turns-eighty-but-claims-he?r=4uj23k&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email
11 days ago
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Bible Cruise!
11 days ago
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No, not the talking asswipe in the white house...
13 days ago
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Police Investigating 8647 Markings on National Mall Find Unusual Hat at Scene of Crime
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
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Police investigating 8647 Markings on National Mall Find Unusual Hat at Scene of Crime
Detectives believe that the mysterious hat could help them identify the perpetrator.
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/police-investigating-8647-markings?r=4uj23k&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email
13 days ago
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Hopeless case...
14 days ago
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Iranian Navy Humiliates Trump by Closing Reflecting Pool
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
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Iranian Navy Humiliates Trump by Closing Reflecting Pool
The Iranians choked off access to the newly renovated pool and began charging tourists to look at it.
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/iranian-navy-humiliates-trump-by?r=4uj23k&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email
14 days ago
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The rest of the story...
15 days ago
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A hard truth that must be confronted.
15 days ago
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Barron Trump’s Energy Drink Fails Product Test
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
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Barron Trump’s Energy Drink Fails Product Test
After taking a swig from the beverage at Monday's Knicks game, a man appeared to fall into a deep, coma-like sleep.
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/barron-trumps-energy-drink-fails?r=4uj23k&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email
16 days ago
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I'll take that bet!
17 days ago
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Todd Blanche Quits DOJ to Pursue Dream of Going to Law School
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
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Todd Blanche Quits DOJ to Pursue Dream of Going to Law School
“Ever since I was a little kid and watched ‘Matlock,’ I dreamed of someday becoming a lawyer,” Blanche told reporters.
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/todd-blanche-quits-doj-to-pursue?r=4uj23k&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email
17 days ago
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Today's very important lesson in grammar...
17 days ago
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You know it's true!
17 days ago
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Pope Leo Draws Crowd of 1.2 Million Without Hosting UFC Fight
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
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Pope Leo Draws Crowd of 1.2 Million Without Hosting UFC Fight
The Pope bucked the conventional wisdom that people will only turn out in large numbers to see men on steroids kick each other in the face.
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/pope-leo-draws-crowd-of-12-million?r=4uj23k&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email
18 days ago
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Paxton Blasts Talarico’s Lack of Criminal Record
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
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Paxton Blasts Talarico’s Lack of Criminal Record
“James Talarico never saw a law he didn’t abide," Paxton alleged.
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/paxton-blasts-talaricos-lack-of-criminal?r=4uj23k&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email
22 days ago
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Bari Weiss Exits CBS to Run North Korean State Media
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
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Bari Weiss Exits CBS to Run North Korean State Media
“I was a big fan of her work at CBS,” said Kim Jong Un.
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/bari-weiss-exits-cbs-to-run-north?r=4uj23k&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email
23 days ago
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In Setback for Trump, Iran Says it Will Only Negotiate With Bad Bunny
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
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In Setback for Trump, Iran Says it Will Only Negotiate With Bad Bunny
“Our position is clear: no Bunny, no peace.”
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/in-setback-for-trump-iran-says-it?r=4uj23k&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email
24 days ago
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Only Remaining Musical Act in Trump’s DC Concert is Marco Rubio Playing Kazoo
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
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Only Remaining Musical Act in Trump’s DC Concert is Marco Rubio Playing Kazoo
“Quite frankly, we don’t need no-talent losers like the Commodores,” Trump said. “We have Little Marco playing his Little Kazoo!”
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/only-remaining-musical-act-in-trumps?r=4uj23k&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email
25 days ago
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What was it GW said about getting fooled twice?
youtu.be/LtBQIGtlEXQ?...
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Trump’s ‘snake’ story is coming back to bite America
YouTube video by MS NOW
https://youtu.be/LtBQIGtlEXQ?si=Y3lKBS0KVFQJQFj-
27 days ago
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Mexico Nabs Pam Bondi Trying to Sneak Across Border
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
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Mexico Nabs Pam Bondi Trying to Sneak Across Border
The former attorney general tried to hoist herself over the border wall near Tijuana.
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/mexico-nabs-pam-bondi-trying-to-sneak?r=4uj23k&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email
28 days ago
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Zelenskyy Offers to Lend Trump Cards
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
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Zelenskyy Offers to Lend Trump Cards
The Ukrainian president said his American counterpart’s total lack of cards “makes me very sad."
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/zelenskyy-offers-to-lend-trump-cards?r=4uj23k&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email
30 days ago
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Trump Rushed to Hospital to Have Lindsey Graham Surgically Removed
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
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Trump Rushed to Hospital to Have Lindsey Graham Surgically Removed
The South Carolina lawmaker had been attached to Trump since 2016.
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/trump-rushed-to-hospital-to-have?r=4uj23k&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email
about 1 month ago
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Good question!
about 1 month ago
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Trump Honors Those Who Helped Others Avoid Service at Tomb of the Unknown Podiatrist
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
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Trump Honors Those Who Helped Others Avoid Service at Tomb of the Unknown Podiatrist
The solemn ceremony has become an annual tradition for him.
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/trump-honors-those-who-helped-others-3ef?r=4uj23k&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email
about 1 month ago
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It's a battle royale...may the best deity win!
about 1 month ago
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It's a miracle!
about 1 month ago
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Trump Will Lose His War on Laughter
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
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Trump Will Lose His War on Laughter
It's going about as swimmingly as the one with Iran.
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/trump-will-lose-his-war-on-laughter-ad2?r=4uj23k&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email
about 1 month ago
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Billionaire’s Superyacht Carrying Clarence and Ginni Thomas Struck by Hantavirus
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
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Billionaire’s Superyacht Carrying Clarence and Ginni Thomas Struck by Hantavirus
The couples's latest luxury cruise aboard a Republican megadonor’s boat hit an unfortunate snag.
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/billionaires-superyacht-carrying?r=4uj23k&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email
about 1 month ago
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Xi and Putin Reach Agreement on Joint Ownership of Trump
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
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Xi and Putin Reach Agreement on Joint Ownership of Trump
According to sources familiar with the deal, the two leaders struck a timeshare arrangement.
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/xi-and-putin-reach-agreement-on-joint?r=4uj23k&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email
about 1 month ago
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Pascal's Wager Redux
about 1 month ago
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Sir David just celebrated his 100th birthday!
about 1 month ago
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Manifestly logical!
about 1 month ago
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Xi Humiliates Trump by Reading Aloud From Epstein Files
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
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Xi Humiliates Trump by Reading Aloud From Epstein Files
A stony-faced Xi recited a series of damning allegations about Trump that the DOJ’s redaction team had somehow missed.
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/xi-humiliates-trump-by-reading-aloud?r=4uj23k&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email
about 1 month ago
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You gotta love science!
about 1 month ago
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Trump Tours Chinese Factory that Manufactures his Bibles
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
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Trump Tours Chinese Factory that Manufactures his Bibles
Visiting the Trump Bible factory in Shanghai was the main reason for his China trip, he said.
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/trump-tours-chinese-factory-that?r=4uj23k&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email
about 1 month ago
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Trump Furious After JD Vance Covers him with Sheet
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
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Trump Furious After JD Vance Covers him with Sheet
His eyes closed and head slumped forward, Trump had been unresponsive for over seven minutes of a Cabinet meeting before Vance gently shrouded him.
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/trump-furious-after-jd-vance-covers?r=4uj23k&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email
about 1 month ago
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Joe Manchin Cedes Title of Most Despised Democrat in History to John Fetterman
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
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Joe Manchin Cedes Title of Most Despised Democrat in History to John Fetterman
“For fourteen years, every morning I’d wake up and say, ‘How can I be an irritating assclown today?” Manchin said. “But Fetterman takes it to a new level.”
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/joe-manchin-cedes-title-of-most-despised?r=4uj23k&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email
about 2 months ago
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Who wants to collect junk?
about 2 months ago
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Where's the remote???
about 2 months ago
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Oh, wait, that's MY hair color!
about 2 months ago
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An Old Lady Took on DHS. Guess Who Won?
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
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An Old Lady Took on DHS. Guess Who Won?
How a tiny 75-year-old woman stood up to Trump's goons.
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/the-hero-we-need-now-4ac?r=4uj23k&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email
about 2 months ago
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Trump Signs Executive Order Banning Seashells
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
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Trump Signs Executive Order Banning Seashells
“Now the American people can sleep well at night, knowing that their president has protected them from death by seashell,” he said.
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/trump-signs-executive-order-banning-eb5?r=4uj23k&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email
about 2 months ago
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King Charles Alienates Republicans With Offensive Use of Complete Sentences
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
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King Charles Alienates Republicans With Offensive Use of Complete Sentences
The sentences, characterized by an incendiary deployment of subject-verb agreement, drew howls of outrage from GOP lawmakers.
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/king-charles-alienates-republicans?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email
about 2 months ago
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