Domestic abuse victims may be rich or poor, educated or uneducated, vulnerable or strong-willed, come from a happy home or a traumatic one. The one thing they all have in common is that they were abused because a skilled and highly manipulative abuser chose to target them. #DomesticAbuseAwareness

Financial abuse can trap victims in a relationship, leaving them powerless even after separation. From controlling access to money to sabotaging careers, these tactics destroy independence and confidence. shadowsofcontrol.substack.c...

Many survivors stay because of the intermittent kindness. Hope can be a trap when used to mask cycles of abuse. #DomesticAbuseAwareness

You are not defined by how someone else treats you. Your worth is inherent, and no amount of abuse or mistreatment can diminish it. You are worthy of respect, kindness, and love. 💜 #SelfWorth #HealingJourney

Survivors often carry guilt for not leaving sooner. But abuse is designed to confuse, isolate, and erode your instincts. You didn’t fail—you survived the best way you could. #DomesticAbuseAwareness

Navigating a relationship filled with both declarations of love and abuse is a bewildering and heart-wrenching experience. Those ensnared in such dynamics often confront a deeply troubling question: Does my partner really love me? #ToxicLove shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...

Developing stronger self worth involves recognizing when you're being disrespected and walking away. 🚶‍♀️

Trauma bonding is a complex and often misunderstood phenomenon, which occurs when a victim forms a strong emotional attachment to their abuser. It can keep a victim going back to an abusive relationship again and again. #TraumaBond shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...

Not everything is as it seems with a controlling abuser - even gestures, gifts, and generosity can come with a hidden agenda. #coercivecontrol #emotionalabuse

Angel Lynn, a once bubbly 18-year-old college student with dreams of being a forensic scientist, was brain damaged after being pushed from a moving van when she was kidnapped by her controlling boyfriend. This is her story. #CoerciveControl shadowsofcontrol.com/storie...

Entitlement is a characteristic of every abuser! #coercivecontrol #domesticabuse

Learn how to recognize the signs of verbal abuse and differentiate it from ordinary arguments in relationships. #VerbalAbuse shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...

Not every argument or criticism means you’re in an abusive relationship—but repeated, demeaning, and controlling behavior can signal emotional abuse. Recognizing the patterns is the first step toward reclaiming your sense of self and setting boundaries. shadowsofcontrol.substack.c...

I don't believe any domestic abuse survivor should be asked the question, 'Why didn't you just leave?'. The question should always be to the abuser, 'Why don't you stop abusing them?' or 'How are you preventing them from leaving?'

After separation, abusers often try to sabotage the relationship between their partner and their children by badmouthing their partner or spreading lies. They might manipulate the children to take their side, causing emotional conflict and loyalty issues. 😪 #PostSeparationAbuse

An abuser's parenting is all about meeting their own needs, rather than the child's needs. #coercivecontrol #emotionalabuse

Abusers try to tell you what you believe, what you think, and what your intentions are, as though they could possibly know what is inside your head. #gaslighting #manipulation #emotionalabuse #coercivecontrol

This Christmas, my thoughts are with all those navigating the holidays with an abusive partner. Your strength, courage, and resilience inspire me. Keep holding on to your joy, your truth, and your hope. 🧡 #YouAreNotAlone

Abusers isolate their partners as a tactic to exert control and dominance. #CoerciveControl shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...

Abusers are truly masters of disguise. #coercivecontrol #emotionalabuse #narcissist

Abusers often operate under a veil of excuses that they use to rationalize their behavior. Learn to recognize their manipulative tactics #DomesticAbuseAwareness shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...

Abusers weaponize the holidays, but you can reclaim your joy. Focus on your children, connect with loved ones, enjoy quiet moments, and remind yourself: their chaos is not your fault. 💜

Coercive control can be invisible, leaving victims unsure if they’re truly being abused. Even without physical violence, patterns of manipulation and domination cause profound harm. shadowsofcontrol.substack.c...

When in doubt, always choose YOUR memory, YOUR perception, YOUR beliefs! #gaslighting #narcissist #emotionalabuse

"I used to dread the holidays, knowing my abuser would ruin every special moment. But I've learned that I can create my own joy, in my own way. I deserve to celebrate, to feel loved, and to find peace." - Survivor quote #ReclaimYourJoy

For anyone still in the shadows... you don't need to stay in the darkness. No one should steal your light, ever!

Abusers cannot handle their partner asserting independence or challenging their authority, and see anger as an act of defiance. That is intolerable and unacceptable to any controlling person. #CoerciveControl #DomesticAbuse #EmotionalAbuse shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...

"He told me he wouldn’t buy gifts, then gave me an expensive one in front of our child to make me look bad. It wasn’t generosity—it was manipulation. This year, I’m focusing on my peace, not his drama." 💜 #SurvivorQuote

An abuser's sense of control is shattered when their partner leaves them, prompting a desperate need to reestablish it. Entering a new relationship quickly is a way for the abuser to reassure themselves of their control and desirability. #CoerciveControl shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...

This Christmas, my thoughts are with everyone who has lived through abuse, is healing from it, or is still navigating the holidays with someone who makes celebration feel impossible. I hope you find moments of peace and that Christmas feels a little lighter for you this year. 🎄💛 #YouAreNotAlone

Coercive control doesn’t always show up as violence. Sometimes it’s the slow erasure of who you are. #CoerciveControl

Christmas isn’t a happy time for everyone. For people living with abuse, it can actually get worse. This article explains why.

Abuse doesn’t happen because the victim is weak. It happens because abusers are strategic, manipulative, and skilled at exploiting trust. #CoerciveControl

Control doesn’t always sound like “you can’t.” Sometimes the signs of coercive control are subtle, invisible - and devastating. shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...

It’s easy to doubt yourself when someone repeatedly downplays the harm they’ve caused. Abusers often use minimization to make their actions seem “not that bad,” leaving victims questioning their own perceptions. shadowsofcontrol.substack.c...

Abusers use the legal system to harass & control. They file frivolous lawsuits, drag out court cases, or weaponize custody battles to drain your energy & finances. Legal abuse can last for years post-separation, causing deep financial & emotional stress. #PostSeparationAbuse

Question: “Didn’t you see the red flags?” Answer: Abusers don’t show their true colors right away. They charm you, make you feel loved & slowly introduce manipulation. The red flags start subtly—by the time they’re clear, you’re already deeply invested.

Property destruction is a form of intimidation. It’s not a ‘tantrum’—it’s calculated, threatening behaviour. #DomesticViolence

Coercive control isn’t always loud. It’s a slow silencing. A steady erasure of who you are, until only they remain. #CoerciveControl #DomesticAbuseAwareness

A domestic abuse victim doesn't "just leave" because they believe that the consequences of leaving, will be worse than the consequences of staying. 💔 #DomesticAbuseAwareness

The belief that a partner or child can be owned is central to abuse. It explains the constant control, the seething jealousy, the silencing of individuality, and the violent rage when ownership is threatened. shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...

Abuse isn’t always obvious at first. It builds over time, slowly dismantling your identity while convincing you it’s your fault. #DomesticAbuseAwareness

Hope is often seen as a powerful human force, but in abusive relationships it can become the very chain that keeps someone trapped in the cycle of harm. shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...

Love is meant to be a sanctuary of safety, respect, and support not a battlefield of control, fear and manipulation.

What begins as attention or protectiveness can slowly become control — isolation from loved ones, constant criticism, or financial dependence. Recognizing the signs early is vital. shadowsofcontrol.substack.c...

Leaving an abuser isn’t one moment. It’s a process. A terrifying untangling of everything they’ve made you believe—about yourself, your worth, and your safety. #DomesticAbuseAwareness

If you are experiencing gaslighting, you absolutely must try to trust yourself - even if you have doubts, even if your partner is smarter, even if you are forgetful from time to time. Make a firm decision to trust your memory, trust your perception, and trust your sense of what's real. #Gaslighting

This is how abuse becomes so entangling: the one who wounds you also becomes your relief. #DomesticAbuseAwareness

When people ask, “Why didn’t you just leave?” they overlook the invisible prison built by an abuser’s threats, which confine the victim in a world where every choice feels dangerous and every act of defiance carries a cost. shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...

Healing is unique to everyone. No one gets to dictate how you should feel or how long it should take you to recover from abuse because no one has walked in your exact shoes and knows what it feels like to be you. #HealingJourney