The thing I love about cookbooks (and having a mom that experiments in the kitchen) is now I can use any recipe as a base... and then do whatever the fuck I want with it. What's the author gonna do? Fight me? Doubtful.

Sometimes I watch Great British Baking Show and remember when my mom made something they've featured when I was a child while she was a "housewife" Then I wish I could just be baking in my kitchen and make soup all day Then I resent the patriarchy THEN I resent capitalism (1/2)

You ever just.... Angrily chew bread

Does it look like I give a flying FUCK, Facebook? I am hermitting in the country I am evolving into a cryptid I am fleeing to the woods and living my best life amongst the mushrooms and bugs leave me aloooooooone #dating

Brain when I'm sitting in my chair at 10pm: ugh we can't even keep our eyes open, time for bed Brain when my head hits the pillow: Time To Ponder

Screams of rage are not enough I need to be able to set a man on fire with my breath

"If you don't move and don't make eye contact it will leave you alone" The pile of laundry on my floor: nah bitch I can still see you

My sun is non-binary but my moon is just a silly little guy but my rising is a pretty little princess so as you can imagine we're all pretty confused

Duloxetine, you frothy wench

Me in 90° weather: The fog is rolling in Them:...there's no fog tho? Me, with fibro, about to get Stupid™: I can assure you, there is #fibromyalgia

Almost put toothpaste on my face this morning, in case anyone is wondering where I'm at mentally rn

There is always one family member that is able to untangle cords/Christmas lights/necklaces with great precision and without getting frustrated That family member is #autistic

Hi yeah sorry I sent you memes at five in the morning my caveman brain decided that we wake up with the sun now

This is what being a corpse feels like #fibromyalgia

If you have the audacity to call it "unskilled labor" you're never allowed to eat fast food again Wrap your own Crunch, Craig

Fucking #samsung doesn't allow you to turn off notifications for the Galaxy Store and this shit right here is why I never update my phone 👎🏼👎🏼👎🏼

Listen, sometimes you forget about Arrested By You by Rupert Pine from the Better Off Dead soundtrack and then you find it again and you just need a minute

I do be referring to people as "Young Man" and it's a fucking 40-something Seattle psychiatrist with mommy issues

It's officially "they double when she sits down" season, you're welcome

Some guys out there really do be kissing like they're tryna wrestle your tongue into submission smh

I am an acquired taste and unfortunately that taste is "cyanide"

I do be a Bubblegum Hello Kitty Crybaby Bitch and I love that for me

Listen if I'm out with a guy and I'm wearing a cute ass outfit and he's feeling like wearing a dress out in public you better BELIEVE I'm gonna encourage that shit, we lookin cute TOGETHER 😤😤

Having a non-verbal episode like Brain: "I find myself in an incredible amount of distress and must convey to you that I will struggle to communicate properly for an indeterminate amount of time" Mouth: "Brain ...is. No." #autism

When someone shows you a single brainrot and you suddenly know what your echololia is gonna sound like for the next 3-7months #autism

Hans Holger: "It's called dissociating; it's when they leave their body and let the ghosts speak through them" Me:

Listen it's about to be Short Shorts and Bikini Tops season so if you see my thighs or tummy jiggling you're fucking welcome ✌🏼

Sometimes I function on pure spite and I think that's completely valid, tbh

Hands Off Protest in the Boston Common

I have never seen anything like this in NYC. 5th Ave covered from 42nd St well to the 20s. Nobody prepared for this volume. Volunteers are holding the traffic on all the side streets. No police in sight. #handsoff

NEW: Incredible scenes in Washington DC now. Tens of thousands on the National Mall for the #HandsOff protest against Trump & Musk. There must be over a million people protesting across every US state today. #FiftyFiftyOne #HandsOff2025 (🎥 Alejandro Alvarez)

Listen, with the amount of men that have continued to Ain't Shitting I can't date ANY of the zodiac signs no more. We single till the aliens show up.

Life keeps on life-ing whether you have to go to work or not and I find that incredibly rude

Listen I might be sweet soft lover girl but I can also Scorched Earth like nobody else you know 👌🏼

Y2K fashion is officially "vintage" and I don't know how to feel about this information

Based on the amount of "my toddler did this" "I was babysitting a 6-year-old and this happened" "My child threw a tantrum and now I have to replace it" posts that I see on the internet, we really need to invent screen protectors for televisions

"idgaf" but in a "stopped using incognito mode" way

When you're in the middle of a sentence and your #autism decides it's Non Verbal Time 🙃

The Trash Squad is finally complete ✨💖 #tattoo

LET FAT WOMEN WEAR CROP TOPS AND SHORT SHORTS LET FAT MEN WEAR CROP TOPS AND SHORT SHORTS LET FAT NONBINARY PEOPLE WEAR CROP TOPS AND SHORT SHORTS I WILL EAT YOU WITH KETCHUP

Having #adhd really is like being haunted by your own ghost. Where did I just put my credit card? Couldn't tell ya-that was 37 seconds ago me and she's dead apparently so she can't help us

An unprecedented event: BOTH cats ✨✨✨

Tell your girlfriend I said hi 😘

Finally got the refund from my college and if you think I'm gonna spend it all on tattoos and sex toys you're absolutely fucking right.

"Proliteriat"? More like "proliteri-yum let's eat this fucking billionaire, bestie 🍴🍴🍴"

Be the Golden Retriever Gamer BF you want to see in the world

I might not always *feel* cute but I always *know* I'm cute and MAYBE my brain needs to take a fuckin nap and eat a goddamn cookie before it starts spouting nonsense #confidence

Having #fibromyalgia like "My body has decided that we are Catholic and if we have Too Much Fun we must be Punished."

Having 3/4 left of a disappointing pizza is why I should have at least ONE small pig as a pet.

If it walks like a Nazi, talks like a Nazi, and salutes like a Nazi… Keep the online pressure up, friends. And boycott Tesla. Find out more about local protests at teslatakedown.com