I SO VERY MUCH appreciate the Amazon & vanilla gift cards my lovely gents give because it allows me to purchase supplies for my newest obsession. Homemade goat milk soap 🧼

You have just over a month to get on my calendar before I ride off into the sunset & sand 🏝️ I’ll be on hiatus Feb 28 - Apr 1. Don’t miss me!

Would you like to be my Valentine? For a couple of years I’d spoil myself with this meal from Fresh Market but haven’t done it in awhile. If you’d like to contribute I’d be grateful 😍

Power has been out for awhile. Glad I had this candle 🕯️

It’s a soup & pj kind of day. I can’t for the life of me make just a little pot of soup. 🍜

Would you like to be my Valentine? For a couple of years I’d spoil myself with this meal from Fresh Market but haven’t done it in awhile. If you’d like to contribute I’d be grateful 😍

Just listened to a gf - who is very active & unsafe on the dating apps - lividly go off for 10mins about her college-aged sexually active daughter getting tested for STIs. And this is why…. You don’t wrap it, I don’t touch it.

There are men who can’t find the clit & there’s the man who just spent 2 hours telling me to touch & use my vibrator on/in my urethra. I commented that he was very knowledgeable abt female anatomy & he said it was because he reads a lot. WTF are you guys reading?!?

I found my sound activated disco ball & told my girlies I’d have it warmed up for them for NYE. The convo that ensued makes me laugh…

Ringing in the new year (at least until 9:30ish) with a couple of besties & a home cooked meal. 🍲 I’m looking forward to seeing you lovely gents next year! ❤️

Wilted and keeled over because his hooman is 30 minutes late with his breakfast

The best🎁I’ve received this season hasn’t been under the 🎄. It’s you. Every kind word, every moment you’ve spent with me — it means more than you know. So, from the bottom of my❤️, thank you. Thank you for your support & the way you make me feel. May your holiday be filled with warmth & happiness 💋

Twelve Days of Lustmas On the twelfth day of Lustmas, my true love gave to me... Twelve slow kisses that say we ain’t sleeping 💋

having blusky's set to make you click-through to see anything flagged as "adult content" is great, because it's like a little surprise present. 90% of the time its an anime girl in a bikini the remaining 10% someone is trying to insert an entire washing machine into their ass

Waiting for Santa (and his freshly baked Christmas treaties)

Twelve Days of Lustmas On the eleventh day of Lustmas, my true love gave to me... Eleven secrets whispered behind closed doors

My fat ass wants to thank whomever sent this Kringle. Was it you?

When your client is casually talking about his son’s new job & you realize it’s the same new job that another client (young enough to be his son) told you about getting recently. Sweet Jesus. I hope they don’t ask me for a family discount. 🤣 I don’t know whether to be proud or not.

Twelve Days of Lustmas On the tenth day of Lustmas, my true love gave to me... Ten fingers wandering, finding secret places

Twelve Days of Lustmas On the ninth day of Lustmas, my true love gave to me... Nine moans rising ‘fore the night is done

Men who leave voicemails using your “sexy, sultry, come-get-me-big-Daddy” voice, just know you sound like a serial ki‼️er.

Say it louder for those in the back! And for those who watch & want to emulate p🅾️rn & think those woman are comfortable being strung up like lights on a 🎄you are wrong. 😑

Twelve Days of Lustmas On the eighth day of Lustmas, my true love gave to me... Eight hugs a-lingering, holding oh so tight

Twelve Days of Lustmas On the seventh day of Lustmas, my true love gave to me... Seven outfits landing on my bedroom floor 👗

Twelve Days of Lustmas On the sixth day of Lustmas, my true love gave to me... Me a-laying here in this big, empty bed 🛏️

When you have to call your bank because of a security breach and your username is “CharlotteHarlot” 🤪🤪🤪

Twelve Days of Lustmas On the fifth day of Lustmas, my true love gave to me... Fiiiiiive dirty thoooooughts untold

Twelve Days of Lustmas On the fourth day of Lustmas, my true love gave to me... Four calling birds... my phone isn't ringing nearly enough. Maybe you should call? ☎️

A gf is dating a new guy. She asked how/when she should tell him she doesn’t like the mole on his👃& he needs to do something abt it. Told her the best time would be when he tells her she needs to have some work done to her face. Not so sure she liked my answer. Don’t ask me if you don’t want to know

Twelve Days of Lustmas One the third day of Lustmas, my true love gave to me... Three wild plans and no regrets 😜

Twelve Days of Lustmas One the second day of Lustmas, my true love gave to me... Two bodies tangled in candlelight sin 🕯️

Peach Bellini 🍑 & Cherry Bounce 🍒 homemade goat milk soap. Coming soon to my online store!

Twelve Days of Lustmas... On the first day of Lustmas, my true love gave to me... One good reason to never behave again 🎄

Jingle my bells 🔔 & I'll guarantee a white Christmas ❄️

I was out past my bedtime last night for the Stevie Nicks concert in Columbia SC. Even at the age of 77 there’s no doubt Stevie doesn’t feel nearly as bad as I do this morning. No alcohol involved but feel hungover & like I slept in a ditch. It was a fabulous show & worth it.

I hate that so many swers had their accounts deactivated on the to❌ic site but glad to see some migrating here. It’s been kinda lonely

Some bedtime reading for you…go check it out.

Why don't we just stay in and keep each other warm?

Only dust is supposed to settle emmaelizclt.com

My previous bestie who broke my heart not once but twice & who I told to go fxk herself has invited me to dinner tomorrow night…should I take a hostess gift? 🤷🏼‍♀️

Let's fall for each other... emmaelizclt.com

Always go for the older women. Young women tend to fck like it's their first time. Older women will fck like it their last time 😉

Is it bad that I think my new dentist is hot and I wish it wasn’t his hands all up in my mouth? 🤭

Isn’t she a beauty? I’m quite sure I got bent over & pounded on the price so I’m gonna enjoy the hell out of that hot water 💦

Failed water pressure valve. Failed gas regulator. Failed water heater after 20 years. If you’re gonna blow it, go big or go home!

Not me showing up to a date, introducing myself, and blurting out a name that is not my own or my heaux name but my “phone actress” name 🤣 WTF?!? I have so many personas I don’t even know who I am

Who’s the lucky girl getting a new water heater tomorrow? 🫩 I still don’t have my busted glasses back & now this. I’m reaping some baaad karma right now.

If anyone would like a "Get Rich Quick" idea, here's one for you...develop ONE. UNIVERSAL. cable for EVERY. SINGLE. item that is rechargeable/plug-upable. Jesus, I get so frustrated going thru 50 cables that I have no clue what they go to in order to find the one I need.

Do you ever just wanna hug the fuck outta someone & make it all better for them? I do.

I turn tricks and give treats year-round 👻🎃