Writing on the shell casings is clearly the FBI’s calling card.

I just hope the rapture happens early enough I can get in a late afternoon nap 😴

Donald Trump has never been pregnant or taken care of a baby. In fact, he was banging hookers and getting spanked by pornstars while his wife was dealing with all the shit he’s currently yappin’ about. He couldn’t “tough it out” through a fucking hangnail.

The Tylenol marketing team rn….

If Trump was born in 1946, but Tylenol wasn’t invented until 1955, what the fuck is his excuse?

There can’t be a healthcare professional out there who still supports this administration after this dumbass press conference, right? RIGHT?!?!

This administration is hellbent on turning Idiocracy into a documentary.

I’m actually pumped for the rapture. Imagine all we can accomplish without these dumbfucks holding us back 🎉

Just saw a “We are Charlie Kirk” billboard. Like my daddy used to say, the person responsible for that ad must have a mouse in their pocket because the fuck I am!

Ditched Hulu & Disney+ today… Streaming just makes my kid a demanding little shit anyway. 🖕🏼🖕🏼

But Jimmy Kimmel has a wife and kids!!!

Also, maybe I just have fat thumbs, but ALLLLL those texts and not a single typo?!

I’ve worked in secondary education for a decade now….no way in hell a 22 year old sent those texts. Something is 🐟🐠 as FUCK!

I’m about to move on this Diet Coke like Trump in a Chuck E. Cheese.

The TikTok witches got me thinking Trump has finally kicked it every time I wake up randomly between the hours of 3 and 4am.

I’ve been praying for that orange fuck to drop dead for months…. Are we sure prayer works?

Instead of saying you need an AR to hunt, just tell me you have a micropenis.

The Venn diagram of people claiming “never Newsom” and people saying things like, “imagine if Taylor Swift posted a link for kids in Gaza in her engagement announcement,” is a perfect circle.

Uganda?!

It’s so weird… MAGA keeps saying “America first,” but all I hear is “Putin’s little beta bitch.”

Should I run for my local County Commission seat? Y or N

Just saw a girl in the hallway wearing a “Women for Trump” shirt… Do you think there were “Jews for Hitler” shirts in the 30’s, too?

I do not get paid enough for this…

A pedophile or a person who defends them… All the same to me 🤷🏻‍♀️

@misslisa308.bsky.social @mrsvteaches.bsky.social @cheryld3.bsky.social @travelteachrepeat.bsky.social Still in need of participants for a dissertation survey on the social inclusion of children w/ Autism in elementary schools! 🙏 Please take the survey below & consider reposting – thank you!

Donald, you ignorant slut. #WhoWoreItBetter #ReleaseTheFilesDonald

I forget that not everyone on BlueSky has a sense of humor and can read sarcasm/satire. Some people fucking suck…even if they vote the right way.

$100 says Trump will make some ignorant Irish comment while in Scotland. Geography and culture have never been his strong points.

Dear Scotland, You can keep him. Actually, PLEASE keep him. Sincerely, All of America

Random Friday morning thought: I bet Stevie Nicks has one hell of a crystal collection.

Anyone else keep reading it as Melania received the “Epstein Visa”??

Having to complete yearly Active Shooter training boils my fucking blood. We could just make it harder to get guns, but ya know…gotta keep the NRA happy.

Walgreens can fuck all the way off with this nonsense*. *School starting soon. **Get your kids vaccinated!

If someone kept accusing me of being a pedo and there were all these alleged files that prove otherwise, I’d be mass producing that shit and spreading it around like Regina George and The Burn Book.

No hate. No fear. Immigrants are welcome here!

If empathy is toxic, I hope I’m the world’s most deadly poison.

It’s really that simple.

I hope Lisa Murkowski gets a permanent UTI.

If we’re talking about a regime change in Iran, I think we should take the “put your own oxygen mask on first” approach, if ya know what I’m sayin’…

The state of New York needs to collectively eat a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, have a good cry, and get the fuck over the Cuomo family for good! It is time to move on.

I really fucking hate Donald Trump. I just needed to get that outta my thumbs.

Fetterman is such a fuck. I hope he stubs his toe on his bed post every goddamn morning.

And this is why MAGA voting “Christians” can go fuck themselves and their hypocrisy

Maybe MAGA didn’t show up in D.C. for the parade because they knew they couldn’t tear the doors off the hinges and smear their own shit on the Capitol walls this time.

I can’t wait for Trump Mobile to fail.

From now on, I only have one thing to say when speaking to MAGA: I refuse to talk politics, morals, or ethics with someone who supports a man who wants to fuck his own daughter. Period. Full stop.

$60 million and they couldn’t get a can of WD40 for the tanks? Jfc.

I hope every fucking artist they used at that goddamn birthday parade sue the shit out of the Trump administration. I’m watching the recording of this absolute shitshow and my blood is boiling hearing an instrumental of Good Times Bad Times by Led Zeppelin as tanks roll by. 🤮

@governor.ca.gov Happy Father’s Day, daddy 😎

Don’t forget to put out peanuts and sweet tea for the ghost of Jimmy Carter tonight. Rest up! We have democracy to defend tomorrow ✊🏼