It’s laughable to hear Laura Ingraham call Trump a “builder”. McTaco Tits couldn’t swing a hammer if he tried.

I can’t wait for the South Park episode where Trump cheats on Satan with “Bubba” 🎷

I literally can’t remember what I told myself I was going to do today when I got home, but I can tell you my high school best friend’s ring back tone from 20 years ago.

Where do I request an official update to the thesaurus? I think we have plenty of cause to cement “Republicans” and “pedophiles” as synonymous.

So maybe THATS why he’s hated Hillary so much all this time…

Megyn Kelly’s horrific quote about CHILDREN (for fuck’s sake) has been living in my head rent free since I heard it. My heart breaks most for her 14 year old daughter.

Megyn Kelly is a goddamn monster.

I love a good karma clap back… Let the emails take that fucker down.

Who the fuck emails this much?!

All I want for Christmas this year is everyone in Tennessee’s D7 to go vote for @aftynbehn.bsky.social…and I’ve been a very good girl 😉

THANK YOU TO OUR VETERANS! 🇺🇸 Fuck you to our draft dodging dickhead of a president. 🖕🏼

Today, I woke up grateful I don’t have a MAGA husband to divorce.

I really fucking hate Donald Trump. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER - HTL

Hey, fellow small town protesters! If you added us all up, we’d equal (if not be bigger than) one of these big cities. 💙

Please, god, let this be about our federal government 🙏🏼

Hey Swifties! Taylor was going to post asking y’all to join your nearest No Kings protest tomorrow, she just forgot. Don’t ask how I know. Just trust me.

Erika Kirk looks happier in grief than I’ve ever been in my entire adult life.

Don’t wanna be called a N a z i? Don’t do N a z i shit. It’s really quite simple.

If you Google “Headline News”, this isn’t popping up. I had to specifically search for the article this morning. That’s bullshit. Democrats can’t let this go! It’s time to swing.

Anyone supporting ICE has never had an undocumented immigrant surprise them at work with homemade tamales, and it shows.

I’m so glad there’s not a Spotify wrapped style recap of all the diet cokes I drink in a year.

Nothing makes my heart happier than seeing former students from this deeply religious, conservative, red-voting town speak out against this harmful administration. I stay neutral in the classroom, so I can’t take any credit, but it feels so good to see them standing on the right side of history. 💙

His name is Pastor David Black and he is literally a saint. As if ICE couldn’t look any worse than they already do, this photo will likely be a serious contender for a Pulitzer Prize.

I swear to god if Dolly goes before Donald, I might burn my city to the ground in pure rage.

Taylor could have just had a boudoir photo shoot for Travis and called it a day. She didn’t have to go through the hassle of creating a mid album just to take sexy showgirl pictures.

Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be ICE agents.

Pete Kegsbreath has shit for brains.

Why do Christians focus so hard on wives submitting to their husbands? I love my husband with every fiber of my being, but the only thing I’ll be submitting to him is my Dutch Bros order.

Writing on the shell casings is clearly the FBI’s calling card.

I just hope the rapture happens early enough I can get in a late afternoon nap 😴

Donald Trump has never been pregnant or taken care of a baby. In fact, he was banging hookers and getting spanked by pornstars while his wife was dealing with all the shit he’s currently yappin’ about. He couldn’t “tough it out” through a fucking hangnail.

The Tylenol marketing team rn….

If Trump was born in 1946, but Tylenol wasn’t invented until 1955, what the fuck is his excuse?

There can’t be a healthcare professional out there who still supports this administration after this dumbass press conference, right? RIGHT?!?!

This administration is hellbent on turning Idiocracy into a documentary.

I’m actually pumped for the rapture. Imagine all we can accomplish without these dumbfucks holding us back 🎉

Just saw a “We are Charlie Kirk” billboard. Like my daddy used to say, the person responsible for that ad must have a mouse in their pocket because the fuck I am!

Ditched Hulu & Disney+ today… Streaming just makes my kid a demanding little shit anyway. 🖕🏼🖕🏼

But Jimmy Kimmel has a wife and kids!!!

Also, maybe I just have fat thumbs, but ALLLLL those texts and not a single typo?!

I’ve worked in secondary education for a decade now….no way in hell a 22 year old sent those texts. Something is 🐟🐠 as FUCK!

I’m about to move on this Diet Coke like Trump in a Chuck E. Cheese.

The TikTok witches got me thinking Trump has finally kicked it every time I wake up randomly between the hours of 3 and 4am.

I’ve been praying for that orange fuck to drop dead for months…. Are we sure prayer works?

Instead of saying you need an AR to hunt, just tell me you have a micropenis.

The Venn diagram of people claiming “never Newsom” and people saying things like, “imagine if Taylor Swift posted a link for kids in Gaza in her engagement announcement,” is a perfect circle.

Uganda?!

It’s so weird… MAGA keeps saying “America first,” but all I hear is “Putin’s little beta bitch.”

Should I run for my local County Commission seat? Y or N

Just saw a girl in the hallway wearing a “Women for Trump” shirt… Do you think there were “Jews for Hitler” shirts in the 30’s, too?