Everyone get more pretentious NOW

Pope Francis died mere moments after Pete Hegseth added him to a third Signal groupchat

i type into the groupchat "hey guys I have an opinion about a TV episode" and the devil shivers

"omg what do we dooooooo" build a useful career

quite possibly the most insane democratic party fundraising text i’ve ever seen

Y’all, Trump signed a new executive order. It says that everyone who listens to videos in public without using headphones has to pay me one billion dollars and they get shot in the leg. I think this type of leadership is really admirable and courageous

the cask of armadillo

looking for a handsome mutual to slowly fall in love with on the East Coast. you must be bigger than me. and you must not whine at the trials and tribulations of life. and you must be, among other things, a massive bitch

they strung up poppy playtime dogday like Jesus

phil lester get on bluesky now

Boots. Boots. Boots. Boots. Moving up and down again Swiper: Stop saying that to him, Dora Dora: There is no discharge in the war

me limping around like dr house: oooouuhghhghhg The small man inside my spine using my L5 vertebrae as a gas pedal: the horse slows. Soon we must put her down. Hark, i hear an enemy approach The old man: Hey. i have a question for you

bondage using cvs receipts

French people use the same yakub as everyone else

I stick my whole head through a large ring light and then I ease both arms through the same ring light (so my torso is bisected) and I begin vagueposting

if you don’t clear 50 books a year you’re unfuckable to me

tamale in my hair at work. My punishment for being white