Like, whatEVER.

Seen in the wild: "And then the doctor said, 'Donald Trump is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life.'"

Republicans: Fuck the ACA Democrats: You won't let babies starve just to take away health care Republicans: The hell we won't Republicans: Sue to force people to go hungry Democrats: Well, fuck. We can at least get hungry babies fed Democrats: Vote to feed babies Bluesky: FUCK THE DEMOCRATS

"Surrender, then negotiate" is not how negotiations work.

I think he also coined "Where are they now?"

This is really neat. 🧪

We are all Sandwichicus.

I have no strong opinions on Zohran #Mamdani. He may be a great mayor for NYC, or a terrible one. Like most elected officials in any office, he’ll probably be somewhere in between. But the panic he’s inspiring in certain quarters does incline me to give him the benefit of the doubt, I have to say.

#Covid causes what we in the biz call "#cardiovascular events," among its other nasty effects. #Heart attack, #stroke, pulmonary #embolism, deep vein #thrombosis. All things you should try to avoid. 🧪 ⚕️ 🧵 #medsky

This is brilliant, and disturbingly spot on.

Middle-aged white people on Bad Bunny and the Super Bowl halftime show. One calls him "so famous no one has ever heard of him." I reply, "Don't equate 'no one' with 'no one I know'." Yes, I am also middle-aged white people. Bast save me from ever being *that kind* of middle-aged white people, okay?

The KPg is probably the only mass extinction in Earth's history that fits the stereotype, and it's our mental model for such events just because dinosaurs are charismatic. But yeah. We're in the middle of a sixth great extinction, and the pace makes it too easy for people to pretend otherwise. 🧪 🦖

I laughed. But more and more people believe this dangerous nonsense. Our ability to prevent and treat disease is under full-scale attack, and millions—tens or hundreds of millions—will die because of it. 🧪 ⚕️

Checklist time! Good food: France ✅ Olympus Mons ❌ Good beer: France ❌ Olympus Mons ❌ The Louvre: France ✅ (kind of) Olympus Mons ❌ High peaks: France ✅ Olympus Mons ✅ Highest peak in Solar System: France ❌ Olympus Mons ✅ Cool fossils: France ✅ Olympus Mons ❌ (probably) Hard decision, really.

How about that.

I think my direct deposit paperwork got screwed up.

Imagine thinking that sumd00d calling himself Bronze Age Pervert will ever have anything worthwhile to say, on any subject.

That meme going around about how #rattlesnakes are evolving to lose their rattles because humans keep killing the ones that rattle? It's a just-so story. I get why those are often satisfying, but they're just as often nonsense. 🧪

[climbs out of acid bath] You mean I've been doing this wrong the whole time?

"Making fun of #antivaxers isn't the best way to educate them." "It is very difficult to educate mass murderers as to why mass murder is bad." 🧪 ⚕️

Because this keeps coming up, and it's good to have a reference: there was never, ever a time when climatologists were predicting global cooling on a human scale. 🧪

There's a line I've used in many contexts, but particularly enjoy when responding to people who express contempt for academic credentials and those who have worked hard to get them: "It's really impressive how wrong you manage to be about so many things. Like you have a PhD in wrongology." 🧪 🎓

I'm not sure if I'm more disappointed in #AOC for making fun of her perception of Stephen #Miller's height, or in the many otherwise decent human beings who have repeated it with approval. Anyway, don't do that. Dude's a fucking #kapo, you can find other ways to mock him.

Perhaps I was luckier than I thought when my academic career ended prematurely.

No matter where you go ... there you are.

You know, I'm good with this.

Bioinformaticists need a set of Greek theater masks. 🧪 🧬 🖥️

Human trafficking mob attempts to kidnap victim off street in broad daylight, stopped by concerned bystanders. That’s the America we need.

Noem is slaying her thousands, and Hegseth may slay his tens of thousands. Kennedy will slay his millions. Single-digit millions if we're *lucky*. Tens or hundreds aren't out of reach. I know I keep repeating this. Because it's true. 🧪 ⚕️ #medsky

This, this is important. Read the thread, and then read the comments for multiple examples of EXACTLY WHAT SHE'S TALKING ABOUT.

The word you're looking for is #kapo.

They may take our lives, but they'll never take our snark. "FEMA is overrated anyway half the time they get it wrong to right before hurricane or tornado hits they can’t control the weather" [sic] "Weather control is HAARP's job. Do try to keep up."

Nature is so beautiful.

"Correlation is not causation" is right up there with "according to science" and "read a history book" on my list of thought-terminating cliches. Even when it's applicable—which is less likely than you think—there's nearly always a better and more specific way to make your point. Trust me on this. 🧪

I've been so eager to learn the truth about Amelia Epstein. @kforkallisti.bsky.social

About Jared #Polis and #RFK Jr. ⚕️ 🧪 🧵

From comments on a years-ago Facebook conversation: "Well, okay, I used to be #Chekhov, and on my good days I still am. But I can feel myself turning into #Bester." The transition is just about complete now.

"I was too smart to enlist and they didn't want me as an officer because I raise too much hell." "Officially, there's no record of my service." "I'd've punched out the DI the first time he got in my face." Did I miss any?

I do so love it when someone tells me to "read a basic textbook" in a field where I've not only read basic textbooks, but some advanced ones as well—and as it happens, that I'm getting paid to work on *right now*. Well no, I don't love it, but it does at least provide some brief amusement.

RFKjr gave orders to Dr. Susan Monarez for her not to speak to US Senators. He put a gag order on the senate-confirmed CDC director. Scream this story from every rooftop. Impeach and remove RFKjr.

The leading cause of death in the United States is the Republican Party. 🧪 ⚕️ #medsky

Okay, we're clearly at the beginning of a movie. Now, is this a wacky comedy with incompetent gangsters who take ever-more-ridiculous pratfalls in a futile attempt to recover their loot, or a gritty thriller where the viewpoint characters are in way over their heads? Help me figure it out ... fast.

"I am humorously pretending not to understand context so I can deliberately misinterpret your statement! Look at me! I am very clever!" Whoever first said puns are the lowest form of humor might have had a different opinion if they'd lived to see the internet.

31,000 followers? Thank you! You're all quite daft, but thank you anyway. As long as you're here, buy some books, too. Please.😜

I'm still going to try to keep from posting about politics in general, but I'll make an exception for matters of medicine and public health. Not only is it of course a subject near and dear to my heart, in the big picture it may be the most vital issue of our time, and of any time. 🧪 ⚕️ #medsky 🧵

Continue Charlie’s work, huh?

When a right-wing man murdered Democratic lawmakers in Minnesota, progressives asked MAGA to tone down the rhetoric to prevent more violence. Within hours of Kirk’s murder, motive still unknown, the right is demanding that the government wage a campaign of violence against their enemies.

I mean the worry isn’t that this is the tipping point for general violence, the worry is that this is the justification for state violence given the target. Minnesota was never going to be anything because it was one of their guys. It’s all asymmetrical.

You know, tomorrow is definitely going to be the second weirdest 9/11 of our lives