Just gave my inner child a lightsaber

Need her to put these on and stroke me silly

No matter how quixotic your dreams are, don't ever let them go

Keep your spirit hot, but your mind cool

Feeling very wistful lately, but for what I don't know

If you get good grades in school they'll just let you raw dog adhd for the rest of your life

Again I say, I need a YAPPER. A loquacious lass who loves to infodump and talk my ear off while I stare at her lovingly

Please don't interrupt my floor time

(Flirting) My maternal grandfather had a full head of hair

Costco, Arizona, Ben & Jerry's, Little Ceasars. That's it.

She's bouncing on it in a way that's depleting my life points.

Goodnight to everyone except those of you who squirt ketchup all over your fries like unholy heathens instead of putting it on the side

Whichever woman has my voodoo doll, I need you to spit in its mouth

If i stopped taking my meds I wouldn’t tell anyone but there would be signs

The more things change, the more they stay the same

People who say "No pun intended" are cowards. Intend your puns, you scaredy-cat.

Next time someone quotes a scripture to me, I'm quoting an anime back at them

I need a yapper. A truly garrulous girl who infodumps 24/7 while I listen intently

(Looking her right in her eyes as I slowly slide it in) This tray of sugar cookies should bake in the oven for about 12 minutes

"Sir that's your 4th basket of breadsticks." I know what I'm about son. Keep em coming.

As a poet once said, "Her thighs make the pain go away. Call that Thighlenol."

Life is hard, but I'm tweaking even harder.

"What's really wrong with you?" Life is far too short for us to cover that topic

If I have to go through any more character development, I'm giving up, and then my character can develop into a corpse

If silliness is a sin, I'll see you in hell

"How are you doing?" I'm tired and stupid. Please leave me alone to rot

Sorry I didn't call you earlier. I was being consumed by everything and nothing at the same time

If God loves me then why can't I cum on antidepressants

History loves to repeat itself and so do I

All I do is radiate silliness

Harnessing the mystical power of floor time

They knew I'd be too powerful if I could sleep at night

My inner child has a tummy ache

Coconut water tastes like water that's already been in someone's mouth

Her tits bounce when she walks. She can talk to me anyway she damn well pleases

I'm built DIFFERENT (very goofy-looking)

Drinking blue gatorade out of a spray bottle to cause horror and confusion

Eat around the bush (with her consent) or however that saying goes

Going to take my contacts out and blindly wander around a local bookstore until I bump into a woman and both of us drop the same book. Wish me luck.

Some days I feel like a chicken nugget

Hot Topic hates to see me coming (I'm about to clear out all of their Sanrio and Hello Kitty merch)

Dating older women means that when she gets on top, both her knees are definitely gonna pop

As long as I know the shape of my soul, I'll be alright

Giving someone the ole soft pat on the back but they refuse to end the hug, effectively holding you hostage

A titty in and or around my mouth right now would solve everything

You tease each other and you mention her big forehead, but turns out the joke's on you because she's been secretly using it to read your mind and now she knows your greatest fears and weaknesses.

Did you know they come in packs of 18?! ....I am beyond saving

If you choose to accept your fate, I hope you're granted happiness, and if you choose to defy your fate, I hope you're granted glory

Inside my head is just a teletubby dawdling back and forth and doing fuck all