Comfortable there, Tomtom?

After a bone dry April and May when I ran out of rainwater and had to give them the condensate from the air conditioner, I put my carnivores outside to enjoy the June rain. By this point I’m getting slightly concerned that even for bog plants, they’re a bit… wet.

Train selfie on my way to meet @rflong.bsky.social for lunch & do publishing stuff. It is June in England, so I have sunglasses, cardigan, sun cream, and an umbrella.

I had a dream I had some kittens and I kept forgetting the name of one of them, so I called her Sarah Marshall and I am very pleased with my subconscious for this joke.

Seeing Giles on screen was a source of great comfort for Buffy fans who were going through such painful things in their life. Tony Head was an incredibly talented actor and loved dearly in the fandom and we will miss him so much. Our thoughts are with his family and frends.

Noooo! Not Giles! www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Got a new phone. In lieu of a new book cover to put on it, I’ve added some stickers, for the month that’s in it.

Well my phone certainly thinks the weather is being more dramatic than it is

Yup, Ai is the future all right

Me: searches Etsy for jewellery, fabric, Pride wristbands, niche geekery, cute phone cases. Etsy:

Well, I’m afraid I have some bad news for fans of The Promised Queen. Following poor sales the publisher has decided not to take any sequels from me. I’m obviously very disappointed about this, as I’d hoped for better news.

Tomkin has noticed my legs have neither a thick fur coat, as a cat should have, or even the weird human coverings we use instead. Now he is worried I am cold so he has come to warm me up. What a good cat.

Outside thermometer’s in the sun again

Guys, I’ve found my true love. His name is Fridgey and he’s SO cool. This short king has changed my life. I love him more than any woman has ever loved an appliance. #AC #airconditioner #heatwave #ukheatwave

I shall call him Fridgey and he shall be mine and he shall be my Fridgey

Looked at the forecast. Ordered an air conditioner. 30°c in May in England is a violation of my human rights.

Reading an American recipe that’s describing Dijon mustard as eye watering and burning and not for the faint of heart. Oh my sweet summer children. Do not try English mustard. You are not prepared.

Well, I didn’t win the Romantasy Novel of the Year Award, but due to my hotel room being like an oven I got upgraded and now I have a view of Tower Bridge, so in a way I am winning.

Packing for awards tomorrow. Can someone please tell me why the suitcase that was big enough for four nights at a convention in another country is stuffed to the gills for one event that lasts about three hours, 35 miles from my house?

The Israeli vote reporter just held up an envelope and said, 'I actually know who's going to win tonight!' like it was a playful bit and not an admission of vote rigging. #Eurovision

What do you mean unapproachable

“Haven’t seen Slim Shady for a while,” I mused as I chucked out some leftovers in the garden. Five minutes later I hear a ruckus from the kitchen. Guess who’s back?

Lithuania have sent a living statue from Covent Garden #EurovisionSemiFinal

Right, time to change channel for four minutes. #EurovisionSemiFinal

Sweden is giving RuPaul season 9 #EurovisionSemiFinal

Moldova’s entry written by the sixth form media studies class #EurovisionSemiFinal

Gonna be watching the Eurovis, but I’m changing the channel when it gets to song 10 tonight. And wherever it places in the final, too, because we all know, with grim inevitability, that it will. #EurovisionSemiFinal

Well honestly why the fuck do I bother

Civic duty fulfilled!

Cool, Sky is offering me a discount for *squints* the next 81 years

Dad got a letter last week from the Tories asking for his vote, but what’s amused me is then they sent a *joint letter* to me and my mum. I didn’t read my dad’s but I’m dying to know if they were different. A special manly letter for a man, and a special girly letter for the ladies?

Haven’t had any visits from Slim Shady for a few days, but Tom has clearly decided to emulate his bad boy ways by ditching his collar. Or is this even Tom? Without his tag how can I know? Maybe Slim Shady has been curled up beside me all afternoon!

So much for April showers. According to Dad’s rain meter, we haven’t had a single drop of rain all month. My carnivores are growing like stink. If it doesn’t rain soon we’re gonna have a problem!

I am doing some leather restoration on the sofa and Tom is Not Impressed. Look at that reproachful little face. (Also look at how many layers of blankets and cushions my little prince has to sleep on)

Just wrote an extremely scathing authors note about how much I hate Richard I. Am I writing a book about him? No. Am I writing a book vaguely based on medieval legend with a fantasy twist? Look I’m very busy right now. Mostly writing authors notes for books I’m not writing, but hey, look over there!

Yes I do feel better now actually. #fuckreform

Fourth visit from the boys’ triplet. Dad: we’ve got to discourage this. Me: OR, and hear me out, we have three cats now.

This is Billy. This is Tomkin. This is the cat who wandered into my living room last night.

Me: why does my wrist hurt? Also me: draws on iPad for six hours Me: it’s a mystery

When my cats observe any aspect of my skincare routine and seem both baffled and offended by the very idea.

my latest books cartoon for @theguardian.com

Tom appears to have forgiven me for yesterday’s intolerable cruelty (putting spot on flea treatment on the back of his neck).

The culprit: (How can something so small create about a grand’s worth of damage??)

In today’s episode of “seriously, this place has to be haunted” the dishwasher has broken and the repairman has identified that this is because of a pipe that has been leaking for years under the sink. Cosmic.

Bored. Here’s the before picture. I didn’t take a picture of the in between, in which my bathroom looked like a spectacularly bloody murder scene.

I don't know how to explain to the people who pop up when creatives complain about "AI" to say there are legit uses for it just how much they sound like someone saying "Well actually fire is used to make bread" when people are talking about an organized arson ring burning down their fucking houses

Tomkin has made his selection for the Grand National

Doctor: your hormone levels are normal. Me: so this is just my personality?

Went out for a walk. It is too hot for such things. I was forced to wear shorts. Shorts! In April! In England! Anyway please enjoy this picture of my blindingly white leg as proof. Maybe I should try that foundation on it…

"No," the swordmaster said. "One does not refuse the king," the herald said. "I do. I will not train his soldiers or officers, I will not tell my students to join his army, I will not support his unjust war." "You will regret this!" "No," the swordmaster said.