I had a bunch of hope for 2025 and it’s sucked. So I’m not gonna have any hope for 2026. I’ll do my best, but whatever happens, happens. I don’t care. I can’t change how things pan out to any significant degree.

It makes sense to me that the day after what could be one of greatest days of my life so far I’d bail down some stairs and be in a lot of pain. I’m fine. No major damage. But what the hell?

I’m in the same room as these guys for a small free acoustic performance and trying my best not to freak out. I’m failing, but trying my best.

What kind of mushroom does this read to you? I’m getting different responses than I expected. Pic is from two weeks ago when it was still fresh and new.

I'm back only to tell you that my favorite band released their latest album. Virtually unknown outside of Finland, Ursus Factory is a heavy, soulful rock band with a fun sound that'll hit you with a surprise. Please, listen. I love them in a way words can't describe.

If you do a coin flip to help make a decision, and then do what you wanted to anyway - how many times can you question the god's intent until you must answer for your hubris?

Made dinner for the family tonight and they liked it so much. My mom would have been incredibly tickled by this. And laughed a lot when my nephew couldn’t handle the spiciness.

New Ursus Factory single. Can't believe I'll still be here in Finland when they release their new album next month. It's not for good reasons, but I'm glad to be able to pick up the record from the same store I've bought the last four. With my nephew no less! It's pretty cool.

As someone who recently lost their mother I hate this. The last memory I have of speaking to my mother is so full of happiness, love and excitement. If that was replaced with some fake facsimile with no heart or soul by a company who wants to make a buck I'd be left hollow.

This is why I cut the heavily tutorialized intro to my game and instead insult the player then tell them to get fucked. WAY better intro. Makes people laugh and gets them in to the game faster. They don’t even care that they immediately get obliterated.

Hohoho! Hahaha! That's a good one. Fuck I'd be happy with half that. Be the most I ever made by far.

I feel like a lot of my job as a de facto QA Lead is to assure the new testers that however bad things were elsewhere, this place is not like that. That we're on a team and that we're all in this together and blaming anyone for any issue is a fools errand when we could just be fixing it.

Once I was showing a lady I was dating this game and the first time she saw an Elcor she exclaimed "He's so cute!" It suddenly made a lot of sense why she was dating me.

This dog doesn’t care much for me until I’m eating lunch.

On the 10th day in Finland I got sick.

New Steam stuff seems neat. But I still don't think Valve deserves 30% of every game sold on their platform.

"It's strange. Whenever [nephew] is in this room it always smells gross. But with you it smells pretty nice." That is strange because I just farted. "Okay, bye."

I’m not sure what’s changed but I’m sleeping so well here. Almost too well. 8 hours is good. 9 hours though? 10 hours?! Too much.

I've improved myself on a lot of fronts over the past couple years, but the one thing I clearly need to work on is staying cool at large gatherings when I'm by myself and know nobody. I did alright at the showcase back in September, but that was because people came up to me. Not so at meetups.

Helsinki selfie because you need a reminder of how handsome I am. Not smiling because I’m Finnmoding.

At a Mexican place in Helsinki. Everyone keeps telling me that the foreign food is not very authentic here, but in my experience they make it for the Finns so I end up liking it a lot anyway!

MASSIVE DISAPPOINTMENT

Turns out tomorrow's a holiday back home, so I don't have work. But there's also an IGDA gathering in Helsinki, so I'll probably be going to that. Any Finn followers I know going? Be cool to meet some new friends!

I keep being told that this is the most difficult time of year to be in Finland, but the only response I have is that I'm already too sad to be effected by how little daylight there is.

I gave my cousin’s kids a bunch of stickers I had leftover from my showcase and one of them had one more than the others so he gave it to his mother and MY HEART!

Sato reacts whenever I remotely rotate the pet web camera.

Saying thank you to my family and trying to get it right: kiitos! Saying thank you to the clerk so that they know Finnish is not my native language: key toes!

Been real glad to be here with my sister, nephew and the rest of the family. Thanked my mother's husband for the dreamlike life they shared for the last 20 years and told him he'll always be part of the family. I think he understood maybe a third of the words, but still knew what I meant.

Turned off motion smoothing on my sister’s TV.

Maaaaaan. I don’t wanna spend $400 on Lego, but I know I’m gonna.

People outside of Finland don’t know that this is the best orange soda. There are some released recently that get close, but none are as good.

I’m still very sad, but maybe slightly less so today.

I think I'm gonna have to take a break from this site until I'm right in the head. This Sunday I'm flying to Finland where I'll be spending the rest of the year before returning early January. Maybe once I get settled in there I'll find some calm. I certainly don't have any here and now.

*gets new follower* *they are following 25k people* *have the tags "AI Banner or Icon" and "Frequent AI Use"* That's a no from me.

At least I'm the "cool uncle." I got that going for me.

Feeling deflated. I feel like I'm worthy of more than this, but the universe has other ideas.

Banger to start the morning.

Yes, I know my opinions on media are annoying. I'm a hipster, that's my JOB. I like lots of things. Just not what you like.

Cowboy Bebop. Imagine my disappointment when a decade later I'd realize that was still the best anime I'd ever seen and nothing else even got close. I honestly can't stand most anime anymore even though I was a solid addict for those 10 years. Watch the English dub if you can. It's better.

How much tea do I gotta drink before I feel normal? Good lord this thing needs to show up fast.

I sent a bug report to a podcast app I use and pay for, and one of the suggestions the automated AI response gave me was "Try using a different program." Great, thanks. Love knowing that I'm paying for an AI to tell me to stop using their app.

Twisted Metal isn't a very good show, but the second season has done a pretty good job of making me laugh even though I'm the saddest I've ever been, and the sequence at the start of the tournament was fucking killer. If you want a fun ride and not much more it's hard to wrong with this one.

According to my sleep tracking app the past month and half has been the best period of sleep I've had since it started tracking in late 2020. I do not know what's changed.

Every game I make is to get me one step closer to making the vertical continuous world 3D platformer of my dreams. If I could I'd be making it right now, but I can't so I'm doing what I can. A not insignificant amount of money would go towards Patrick Stewart for a character's voice.

Ordered one Replacement Glass Carafe. Probably the only thing I'd ever spend the extra money to get it delivered by the next day. By this point I'm pretty sure I've spent more on replacement Carafes than I have the actual coffee maker.

Man, they're still making things with Doom. What am I even doing?

Hell Is Us is great, but a little too obtuse for its own good. If you like puzzles there's some real head scratchers in this one. Though I'm unclear if it's because they are complex multifaceted puzzles or I'm just a big dummy. In either case I'm keeping a guide open on my second screen.

In my new passport photo I look like the most exhausted bedraggled person in the world. So what I'm saying is that it should make identifying me after being on a flight for eight hours a lot easier.

Frankly, I should be commended for not curling up in to a ball and crying on the floor even though I really really want to.