I think I figured out immortality.Your statistical chance of surviving a really short window of time is very high. Your odds of surviving the next ten seconds, they are pretty good. If you evaluate your life in ten second intervals it should technically be possible to live forever. Don't question it

Worf can't stand watching wrestling on the holodeck because it makes him mad John Cena's cloaking device doesn't work

Resident Evil in THIS economy? More like Sleeping On It's Friends Couch Evil.

If you follow the word "secret" with almost any word in the English language you have an intriguing title. For example, Secret Handstand.

What if the presents Santa delivered over the centuries were just deferred payment, now he is going to unleash his collection agency on everyone. Trump counters with Tariffs on Christmas Town, so Americans have to pay ten percent to get their presents and the financing options to square their debt.

It's kinda wild phones have the dual function of connecting you with people, but also separating you from the people around you and pushing them out of your awareness.

If there is a god and it really hears prayers, can you imagine all the hate mail it gets? "Dear god, thank you for that growth on my ****** **** ******* you F********* ** ** ****** *** and I hope you ***** *********** ****** ********** Amen

You know that question about who you would have dinner with real or fictional? I don't even like Star Trek, but I gotta go with Data. Imagine getting his take on the game Dead Space, AI, or Giallo films. Plus he doesn't eat so I could serve hot dogs.

It is the primary function of a political leader to de-escalate their country. Make of that what you will.

The U.S.A has become a motherless child.

I am taking back the internet. I am going to start posting unreaction videos. I sleep through your favorite artist's music videos and possibly scratch my nuts at some point.

I don't intentd to die on this hill or anything, but two shakes of a lambs tail is not a scientifically useful measurement of time.

I have a dream, and that dream is Ripley from Aliens running for president of the U.S. I would settle for someone with an eighth grade education...mostly because I am positive the current president cannot spell eighth.

I am drunk and on blue sky, what's the worst that can happen?

Trump is such a man child he is two months away from ordering ICE agents to carry throwing stars.

Is it eyeliner or eye redacter? Discuss.

Can you imagine a tourism ad for the resort town Silent Hill? Rustic and Rusty

We are all evaporating rain water, but we can still be nice to other raindrops as the temperature rises.

We are literally like three years away from political figures giving finishing moves like the People's Elbow. What the fuck happened to the ability to read?

Smart phones have rendered windows obsolete.

I was super productive during the planning phase!

I wonder if in the Hellraiser universe there is a hell for people with mild or super soft kinks? Like a praise kink, or scented candles. "Your mild irritation will be legendary, even at Winners"

Don't tell ME I don't know fashion

If you can spell camouflage on the first try without looking it up you are DEFINITELY a psychopath.

So I said the words "I wish the goblins would come and take you away, right now" to a cat, and the Goblin king did show up and play with his balls...the Police are taking my statement right now. The band not the organization, it's been a confusing day.

How do we live in a world in which video game lore is more reassuring and comforting than real world lore? I can't say I ever anticipated visiting Rapture as a place of comfort.

Yes, Yog-Sothoth is terrifying in Lovecraft mythos, but not nearly as scary as my Nog-N'vodka

My fetish is the third law of thermodynamics....and boobs.

When a guy figures out how to make his girlfriend happy. www.youtube.com/watch?v=9d3q...

I wish Skip the Dishes would hire speed runners.

Maybe the reason Riddick is so angry in all his movies, is that he is clearly an Olympic swimming enthusiast and there are never any pools on the planet.

I asked ChatGPT if when I flush my toilet, it goes in a related direction to the rotation of the Milky Way, Because 3 am here. Answer was interesting but won't fit in one post. Short answer no, stop asking me these dumb questions.

Did anyone else, as 80's kids, feel the comic book ads for Sea Monkeys....I mean, they made you want to check your drink for roofies. What are they getting up into in that castle?

A musical reminder on Consumer Frenzy Day…. ICH HABE GENUG (It’s GENUG not genung Disappointing that NBS let slip a typo Perhaps it is genung in Dutch 🤔 🤷🏻‍♀️?) Fun fact: I was so impressed when T started singing it early in our courtship Turns out he was quoting a comedy album 🤣 Oh well… 🤷🏻‍♀️

I wonder if there are Pornhub completionists

My fetish is insane Myspace layouts.....and bums.

I find it frustrating that my Batman pajamas never get included in analysis discussions about the evolution of the character. "I AM...the bat"

Sigh.

Have you ever considered cats watch all those things you do when you are alone because they like it?

I am not telling anyone how to live their life but these gentlemen make some fine points.

Clinton's milkshake brings al the Trumps to the yard.

Okay. Seriously. Society needs to address why cats are the best. If we don't solve this now, what will our children's children do?

You have never felt like a worse person, than the way you feel when your cat looks at you and you don't share chicken with it.

Handel wrote the best aria describe alcohol ever. The lyrics are the first comment as they won't fit here. www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4qB...

On the one hand, I am annoyed I need to order food and it's late so everything is closed but the lame stuff. On the other hand, I can't believe we live in a world where that is even a thought.

You're singing is only out of tune, if you are singing to a normally tuned guitar.

This time I mean it! I will only read a few more posts and then go be productive!

New conspiracy theory: When Trump gave the BJ, There was actually a second shooter on the grassy knoll.

Hopefully, when all this is over, society will be forced to ask how a Donald Trump was even possible, and address that.