There are #NoKings in America and the streets are paved with cheese!

malice /mal-ice/ (noun): A desire to harm others or to see others suffer; extreme ill will or spite. mal-ICE. Yup, checks out

Happy Bartolomé Day: theoatmeal.com/comics/colum...

Channeling my inner @scalzi.com anything can be a burrito. May I present bbq chicken and green bean butrito

Instead of making dumb appliances “smart”, can we just make ones that work?

“Don’t be a sheeple” they said. “Do your own research” they said. MF this is why we have scientists. I don’t have the time/money to do a double blind study on which washing machine is gonna clean my shirt best

A day that will live in infamy: the 10th of Schadenfreudember

Well, at least *someone* didn’t forget about dre

It is at once amusing and distressing the number of images that show up in a search for “threats” that feature DJT

TFW you have to reach out and make sure your friends returned from an international trip - not because of where they went but because your own country might disappear them at the border 😢

me: turns left because left turn signal light is green passenger: why did you turn? The highway is faster. me: do you know how open shortest path first routing works? passenger: …..uh….no? me: me neither

Same energy as the people who use the Liberian flag emojii in their 4th of July facebook posts

Okay, but hear me out. What if, instead of Canada being the 51st state, the US became the 11th province? Then we could talk about looneys and not be referring to the president

The only technology worse than email are printers. And the only thing worse than printers is printing out emails

Yes, I did eat half my sandwich before I realized why it was so terrible how’s your day going?

This is truly the best of all possible worlds

“Why stand on a silent platform? Fight the war, f**k the [fascists]”

The secret to being promoted in a large organization: fail so spectacularly and publicly that your boss _has_ to promote you to avoid looking like a bad manager for assigning you the task in the first place

“But her emails” is how I would have responded were I ever accidentally added to a top secret Signal chat

It was the b̶e̶s̶t̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶t̶i̶m̶e̶s̶, it was the worst of times: daylight saving time

DOGE, like the crypto it is named after isn’t about making things better, its just plain old corruption. 18F was not well known, but they did awesome work to make the IT of the USgov better for Americans

Zelenskyy shows, again, that he won’t kowtow to bullies - even when they are his supposed “allies”. US might have better air defenses, but Ukraine has a better president.

Clearly, the most appropriate way to reply to all these DOGE emails is to preface any response with: “By reading this email you are consenting to immediate resignation”

Tired: stream ciphers Wired: scream ciphers

Little bobby tables got into cartography…

Words have no meaning when everything is enshittified. #disneyplus

Assuming we are allowed to say anything other than “Heil Trump” or “I love Big Brother”, I propose future historians call this period “The rainbow scare”

Trump his cronies - yeah they’re bad sure, but like the real reason shit is fucked up everywhere: monopolies. You want to really fix things? Break up the monopolies, actually enforce antitrust, and give the investor class a haircut. www.thebignewsletter.com/p/did-a-priv...

Crypto scams are now official us policy, it seems

It’s snowing in Houston, anyone spotted Ted Cruz in Cancún yet?

I repeat: winter. Is. Coming.

Winter is coming

closing time, one last call for SREs so finish your commit or push closing time, you don’t have to go `~` but you can’t `cd .`

If a packet is dropped by a switch and nobody is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

These fireworks sound more like people are trying to kill the old year rather than bring in a new one

Remember that life is precious and fragile. When you die, all that’s really left of you that matters is the memories others have about you. Give them good memories. Haunt them with love

The best key on the keyboard is the delete key.

Effectively implementing fascism was probably not the intended goal but #fafo

4yo, in the car: Is Donald Trump a bad guy? Me: on a scale from one to Shredder… id say at least a seven.

Die Hard: watched. Now the Christmas season can officially start

Don’t cover our car parks, rip up the car parks and replace them with real parks. Then cover the bus stations, rail stations, bike parking, and gazebos 😁

My daughter, asserting her rights. #proudParent

Burned my arm ironing napkins. Nothing some googly eyes cant fix though.

Absolutely true fact: Black Friday was once an important goth holiday. Its original significance has been lost to time and now it’s just great deals on black eyeliner.

50% of being a parent is saying “fuck around and find out”, but using words that would only get you a PG rating.

Zeros are the real heroes

Tarrif around and find out

Am I in the right timeline? Or is this the star trek mirror universe and I am going to start seeing mustached versions of people I know?

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade; when the world is bananas, you bake banana bread

current mood: existential dread over a background of near-perfect fall weather