Haven’t been on here in a while! What’d I miss? Anything happen this week?

I’m on my phone watching a behind the scenes video on Who Framed Roger Rabbit and a notification popped up that we just bombed Iranian nuclear sites. So if I ever have grandkids this is what I’ll tell them I was doing when WW3 started.

Over 16 billion passwords have been leaked! Make sure you change yours if you haven’t already! Add special characters and numbers for extra safety. So for example I’ll be changing mine from Nickelodeon77! to N1ck3l0d30n77! so my gmail, samule1984@gmail, is more protected!

Did you know you are significantly more likely to die on your birthday than any other day? It's called the birthday effect and studies have shown there is a 7-14% higher chance of you kicking the bucket on your birthday! Anyway, happy birthday to anyone celebrating on this day, June 14th! 🥳

Watching elon and trump publicly exchange insults and saying “we needed this” as though it was long overdue rain.

Having a birthday on the first of the month is fun because I get to wake up and see my auto-payments for my phone, car insurance, utilities, and rent all went through at midnight. Watching my bank account violently drop for the day is a wonderful way to celebrate life! 😀

happy daylight saving time to those who celebrate!

Someone really needs to ***** him

I must applaud the Severance fanbase for not dropping a single spoiler or sharing any information about the show. All I know is the main character wears a suit. Don’t know his name, if he’s good, bad, what era the show takes place, how many seasons there are, who’s IN the show, nothing. Keep it up.

Die Hard is a Valentine’s Day movie

Not trying to sound all high and mighty here, but people who are still regularly posting on twitter: what do you think will be the last straw for you to leave? I mean after that whole nazi salute...I don't know what more you need to see from that piece of shit to decide maybe it's time to jump ship.

I can’t believe there’s still a whole week left to go in this shit storm of a month lol

Everyone saying elon did a Roman salute should post of a video of themselves doing it in a crowded public space 😀

Man. I’ve been up for 2 hours and have tried to open TikTok about 10 times so far. The muscle memory is strong with this one. Gonna make a TikTok about it. Wait…

It sucks we don’t have TikTok to talk about how crazy it is that TikTok is actually gone now lol

Look out, Mr. Beast

When TikTok gets banned I’m going to lie about how I had 13 million followers should I ever need to if a brand wants to work with me. This whole situation reminds me of the time I was the manager for a Circuit City and a Blockbuster when they went out of business.

We are just 8 days into what I’m going to refer to as 2020 chapter 5 and I really don’t like the tone that’s been set so far. Holy mother of God what is happening make it stop

If you offered me a thousand dollars to stand in Times Square on New Years I still wouldn’t do it. Ever since I learned that many people wear diapers due to the restaurants not allowing anyone to use restrooms and no port-o-potties on the street, I don’t see the draw.

If you start Titanic tonight at exactly 9:47:15, you’ll ring in the new year as that one guy slams into the propellor as the ship sinks, the perfect metaphor for how 2025 is probably going to go.

Someone within the last decade or so humorously declared Die Hard to be a Christmas movie and now we debate it every year. It’s fun, but I’m on team “not a Christmas movie”. With this logic, Rocky 4, Batman Returns, and American Psycho are also Christmas movies.

I have a confession to make. I never saw How The Grinch Stole Christmas. I don’t know how it happened, but I never did. I was such a huge Jim Carrey fan from that 1994-2000 era but for some reason that one slipped by and I just…never saw it. There’s really no excuse at this point; please forgive me

bluesky meeting all the other apps

Enjoying the last of my Thanksgiving leftovers! Have a great weekend everyone! Gobble gobble!

I really need to stop being so hilarious all the time in the comment sections on TikTok and Instagram because I wake up with those 99+ notifications and think one of my videos blew up but it’s just everyone marveling at my quick wit and puns. Ugh!

I’m biased because I enjoy running, but doing a 5k Thanksgiving morning isn’t that bad. You get some exercise in, you’re with the family, they usually have a slice of pie for you at the finish line…it’s a good vibe. Yeah you have to wake up early but your ass is gonna pass out at 5PM anyway lol

Thanksgiving hack: before you start cooking tonight/tomorrow, take your leftovers from last year out of the fridge and put a label on each container so you know which ones are from 2023 and which ones are from 2024! I’ve done this since 2019 and it saves me the confusion. 🦃

Does anyone else get a random craving for something they don’t typically even think about? Over the weekend I got hit with this overwhelming craving for tootsie roll pops—I bought a bag of 60 and after I’m done I’ll probably not give them a second thought.

I hope you all don’t mind but I’m going to gradually move my tweets to here, starting from January 2015 when I first joined twitter: “Just saw donald trump may be running for president—who’s gonna be his running mate? damn Daniel? ha ha anyway I’m so glad Vine is still a thing here in 2015!”

Keep waking up in a complete daze. The difference between us is all in the reaction—we’re sad, angry, and disappointed—because we truly care and want America ACTUALLY “great” (the irony!) while their ultimate goal was to “make the libs cry”, which is insane. But we all lost, as they’ll soon see.

This app feels like a real life version of Animal Crossing. I don’t even want to cuss on here. Everything is so pleasant. What a wonderful reminder there are just as many good people out there, they’re just not as loud as the bad ones. Anyway what time is K.K. Slider performing? 🍿

Hello everyone! I’m gonna be on here now I think. I said that last year apparently but I thought the other app may turn around and boy was I wrong