"New College Speeds Through US News & World Reports Rankings!"

Why's this so hard to get? We will love that shitty statue more than we'll love an alum like @mobute.bsky.social. I mean, one will be expensive and have a hand ready to juggle some balls. The other just juggles balls.

We remind our students: don't put your junk in his cold bronze hand. Don't drop a deuce there. Don't have sex on that table. Don't even look at it funny or say anything bad near it or we'll take judicial action. We're so in love with saying "free speech" we'll censor you to prove it!

This news is super old. Why are you posting it now?

"the college administration revealed FOR THE FIRST TIME that, in the current financial year, the Foundation paid $865,000 for “executive salaries”—3x as much as for scholarships and more than 1/3 of the total support it provided to New College." Hell yeah. Money. For us! wslr.org/trustees-app...

Why does this seem so hard for people to understand? Once you give us your money, it becomes *our* money. And we'll do whatever we want with it, including paying Richard Corcoran's astronomical salary. And sports stuff. Cope! suncoastsearchlight.org/new-college-...

Yes, we had bigoted hypocrite Alan Dershowitz as commencement speaker as a political move. Yes, he spouted off some pretty heinous stuff. Yes, we're glad that old-school types of New College students are finally becoming extinct. Yes..wait, where were we going? oldschoolcatalyst.com/new-college-...

We're offended at the implication Richard Corcoran lies. * Paying* 70 baseball players (for a 600-700 student school) to attend still resulted in higher enrollment numbers, didn't it? * We'll not be taking further questions

We're just happy the national news is still paying attention to us!

Dear Faculty, Our sportsball kids were going to live in mold. We realized that might be bad or get us sued, so they're going somewhere else. Don't make them do homework and stuff. Signed, Guy With Zero Experience in Higher Education Who is Somehow a Provost

We won! OK, we settled. For $125,000. Of your taxpayer money. We thought Chris Rufo might pay some of it, but he didn't want to, and we don't have any influence over him. mailchi.mp/flcga/florid...

We're in lots of news these days! As they say, any press is good press, right? We look forward to having to justify Chris Rufo's actions. And that yacht lawyer Bob Allen's actions. And the actions of all other people. We're sure Ron DeSantis is thrilled. www.floridabulldog.org/2025/05/new-...

We didn't really want to do this anyway, so this doesn't count as a loss. floridapolitics.com/archives/736...

Chris Rufo may have no chin, and a voice that grates on your nerves just short of the Ben Shapiro nasaly condescension type, but we're proud he's on our Board! He's bringing great changes to the world of higher education, even if he doesn't really know anything about it.

"Can it be stopped?" Nope. Why would you even want to stop our growth? If our footprints doubles in size, we could pay Richard Corcoran TWO million dollars in salary! www.wfla.com/news/local-n...

It's cute you think we *missed* the charges, or even that we *looked for them*. Fred Piccolo Jr's dad, Rick Piccolom is a big SRQ official. We wanted that land. We gave his son a job. Bonus: Jr used to work with Richard Corcoran. Case closed. www.wusf.org/education/20...

As the world honors Val Kilmer this past wek, we're reminded of a Tombstone quote "My hypocrisy only goes so far" but also "It appears my hypocrisy knows no bounds" We, too, haven't figured that out yet ourselves www.wusf.org/education/20...

Who *hasn't* had the urge (wait, urges, 3 times) to get naked in a Banana Republic or Dillards (2x) dressing room? We support FREEDOM here at New College of Florida, speech & sometimes genitals Frederick Joseph Piccolo Jr is a true Banyan, exposed roots & all www.mysuncoast.com/2025/04/16/n...

Want to know more about us? www.chronicle.com/article/the-...

We told you we wanted more men at the school. Chris Rufo told you we wanted to "rebalance the ratio of students". What made you think we wanted to prioritize or value women in any way? www.heraldtribune.com/story/opinio...

We're torn, because on the one hand, we want in on this! On the other, we really like how having international students boosts our sports, we mean enrollment, numbers

Take it from us, you want to be real subtle when thinning out a book herd. Like "just rent a dumpster and publicly throw them all in there" subtle. www.heraldtribune.com/story/opinio...

Wait, we can target students just for *complaining* about someone or something now? Oh, it IS ON, New College students. What we mean is, we plan to have a fully safe and welcoming environment for all students. Yep, that's it.

We're excited that we continue to make national news! theonion.com/russell-bran...

Nothing to see here, folks. It's definitely, absolutely, truly just "event logistics" at the secured venue We still plan to host Russell Brand at New College of Florida because he is an absolutely preeminent mind. Richard Corcoran wants to smoke a cigar with him, too. www.wusf.org/education/20...

Nope. Never. All funding lining President Richard Corcoran's pockets are 100% above-board and totally appropriately gained and we are completely transparent about it all

Will Russell Brand still speak at New College of Florida? We don't know! We invited the guy, with his already-years-old allegations, to an academic symposium in the first place, so our judgment's not exactly top-tier at the moment. www.mysuncoast.com/2025/04/04/w...

If you can't be mission-aligned with helping Richard Corcoran and Friends line their pock..we mean, Make New College Great Again, then don't let the palm trees hit you on your way out or whatever

We're New College of Florida. Of *course* we have back-room deals, shady self-serving strategies, and President Richard Corcoran who is in Governor Ron DeSantis' pocket. And we don't ever have to tell you, the public, any thing about it at all. www.yourobserver.com/news/2025/ap...

Fake news

Well, yeah, that's what we're hoping for

Our administration is furiously taking notes on this one

We're New College of Florida. We'll fire you if we don't like what country you're from suncoastsearchlight.org/new-college-...

We here at New College of Florida thank Marco Rubio for pointing out that 'writing a critical journalism aricle' and 'causing a ruckus' are definitely the same things. We, too, over the past couple of years, have kicked out students for 'doing stuff we don't like' (even if it was protected speech)

We're New College of Florida Of *course* we want to be able to look into your dorm windows! Privacy is for communists

We here at New College of Florida are proud of our many achievements under president Richard Corcoran. Read about them all (and how they're not just grifty money-grabs or partisan moves) right here! Thank you to @kathrynajoyce.bsky.social for the excellent writing inthesetimes.com/article/new-...

Amy Reid talks honor, respect, and #NewCollegeofFlorida on the latest Palm Court Pod: Youtube: youtu.be/rDeI7C-Ra4Y Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/p... Spotify: open.spotify.com/episode/0pKe... Huysmans! Gender studies! West African lit! Rufo, DeSantis, and $$$ in higher ed!

We here at New College of Florida are students and lovers of history. And we can't find a single instance in all of our research where dictatorial authoritarianism was, like, ever a bad thing. So, all hail President Richard Corcoran! www.heraldtribune.com/story/opinio...

Students are dumb. We're smart. That's what college is all about, right?

Our Board of Trustees is made up of only the brightest bulbs and the most sincere sycophants

We have only the best here in sunny Sarasota Go Mighty Banans!

President Richard Corcoran's whole approach

The history of the Four Winds symbol at New College of Florida @NewCollegeOfFL ncfcatalyst.com/history-of-t...