I was honored today to be mentioned in our regional meeting with around 200 people from all over southern Australia (Victoria, South Australia, and Tasmania)! My boss gave a lovely speech thanking me for 5 years of service and speaking about how he was proud to have me on the team. It was so nice.

always a good plan. that said, congrats on registering on their radar: being vaguely marketable is scant praise, i know, but any port in a storm. keep writing!

god damn it

guys oh my gosh i just received this email today and i have no idea what to do with it!! any advice is appreciated 💯

i had to re-pierce my nostril with the blunt end of a stud and i've time-travelled back to my 20s when pain was fun.

i can't imagine a more profound example of late-stage capitalism than a giant peanut in a top hat and monocle selling you other peanuts to eat

hanging in there! after 5 days, i am currently $3.74 down from an initial $50 investment in 5 different stocks, but one of my gainers has spotted me around $.50 and a few others are climbing slowly. this is fun, you guys, i wish i would have done it sooner!

welp i lost a few dollars over a few days, but the trend is slowly climbing back up. we will see how i go, but i am optimistic after researching some crypto advice websites. i mean if i lose $50 it's not the end of the world and honestly i think i just like looking at charts and graphs 〽️lol

i heard mamdani is gonna force kids to learn arabic numerals in school what a scary time to be alive y'all stay safe

sam brought me some stickers, guys. look how cute.

the cryptocurrency beginner's advice sites seem to have a disclaimer which looks like "CRYPTO IS VERY RISKY & WITH THIS GAMBLE YOU WILL DIE OR BE DISMEMBERED IF YOU INVEST IN CRYPTO FAIR WARNING DON'T SAY WE DIDN'T WARN YOU PEASANT WHO DOESN'T HAVE $50k I HATE EVERYONE" I took that as a good omen.

"bull" and "bear" terms are used to indicate the trend of the chart. they are named after these animals b/c of how they attack. a bull thrusts its horns up while a bear swipes its paws down. so, these animals are metaphors for the movement of a market: trend is up, bull. trend is down, bear. cool!

have you guys seen the news? there's a huge corvid 19 scare where ravens and caraways are expected to shit all over your car for the next 6 months. no vaccination available at this time. y'all stay safe.

i put my pants on the same way you do by standing still for hundreds of years while moss and ivy envelop my legs. yes, these are my pants.

the bonus you receive in a pay period is directly proportional to the amount of bullshit bills you have to pay for your cat's bloodwork and 6 months of car registration. no exceptions. i don't make the rules.

Just in case.

silence in the midst of injustice is complicity. not profundity. not intellectualism. not radicalization. not remarkability. just the bare and honest truth. don't sit by and watch your neighbors suffer discrimination because you were busy ignoring it. #FuckICE

welp after 3 glasses of wine i've decided i'm gonna take a shower so if i'm not back in 30 minutes i fell and broke a hip y'all stay woke

r.i.p pavlov you would have loved notifications

this is my favorite meme of all time

named the spider in my bedroom cotton eyed joe where did you come from where did you go

me *across the house from my bedroom*: SAM sam: great julius caesar WHAT MANDI me: DON'T COME IN HERE sam *coming in here*: why not? me: because i farted sam: omg mandi i thought you would be naked me: haha april fools

Oh my gosh you guys tame impala has a new album out after over 5 years so if anyone needs me I'll be dorking out to kevin parker with no regrets

trevor has to touch me all the time 🤎🖤

had a dream i was being chased by ed gein with a chainsaw but halfway through the woods it ran out of gas lmao

Anyone in Melbourne interested in a house/electronica event on New Year's Eve? I am selling 2 tickets because Sam doesn't want to go. Price negotiable, just show interest! It honestly looks like a great show. I hope they go to someone who will love it.

I wore pink to work today in solidarity with breast cancer research and awareness month 🩷 for everyone who has lost loved ones, those fighting, and those who have survived the battle, I stand with you!

Oh shit, ANTIFA is suiting up

Hey guys. Unfortunately, we're not going to make the event on NYE, so I've put our tickets up for sale. They're first release, GA so if you're interested, grab them because the price will increase closer to the event. I hope someone can use them. It looks like a great show. Feel free to share.

just booked sam's christmas present 🤫

welp i completely misjudged my screening room door handle today and walked directly into the door in front of a client in case anyone needs to hire a genius to do genius stuff for them 🫡

okay so hear me out guys, i'm gonna write a gently worded email to management to triple my pay because of all my personalities. should work. fingers crossed.

look guys! now i have kuromi, kimono hello kitty, and popcorn 🥰i love my little family

poor trevor must have been miserable on this cold, rainy day (10°C) because i forgot to leave the heated blanket on for him when i left for work and now he won't get out of my lap.

am i the smartest or prettiest girl? absolutely not. but am i at least kind to people? not really. but do i try to be a better person today than i was yesterday? also a hard no.

just saw someone's comment calling him the "papaya messiah" hahaha guys, i can't deal 😂😂😂

guys i don't really wanna be super skinny i just wanna be able to shave my left leg and breathe at the same time

welp some bonehead hacked into my paypal account and spent $797 lmao what a loser.

ever go to a wedding and the maid of honor starts talking about "celebrating love" in her speech? na, girl, i'm just here for the prosecco

"bUt BiLL cLiNtOn MiGhT bE iN tHe EpStEiN fiLeS!!" omg whatever shall i do with my bill clinton hat and bill clinton flag and bill clinton sneakers and bill clinton lapel pin and bill clinton clothing and bill clinton bible? fuck off.

i wonder why i haven't seen the same saddened sentiment from the magats for the dead immigrant detainees who were just as human as charlie was. funny, that.

funniest thing i saw today was the angry dad slamming the side door of his minivan shut but it slowed down and latched silently.

david: *plays a normal non-secret chord* the lord:

can you imagine being limahl and only doing one song and being set for life? what an absolute legend on his boathouse and whatnot

my mom only took tylenol when she was pregnant with me because it was rapid release the fucken files

epsteinomenophin release the files

*having the best sex of your life with a navy seal and then telling him he can't stay over because of the 3rd amendment* oof. no breakfast for you.

apparently the world is supposed to end tomorrow which sounds about right since i just got a haircut i like, everything is going great, and i'm right in the middle of a week of annual leave fucken apocalypse ruining my life

New hair! 🥰🥰🥰

my sonographer said i have a beautiful spleen *swoon* ☺️