Benny Blanco and Lil Dicky's video podcast gives viewers the chance to see celebrities like they've never been seen before: sitting on the floor partially obstructed by a kitchen island.

ok now bring back the Sonics and let them do this. we can all sing Lithium or something

Lisan al-Gaib

I did it!

Just watched Fire In The Sky and: we need more movies like this. Shot on film in a nice location with strong actors and a Stephen King-esque story just good enough to get you to the third act where ILM spends the entire $15 million budget creating some of the freakiest shit imaginable? I’d watch 100

To see so much Jeremy Piven during the Finals broadcast… chilling.

Every Spurs fan at the finals looks like a villain on Landman. Every Knicks fan at the finals looks like they’d come to Spiderman's aid by calling the Green Goblin a slur.

I feel like I spent the election cycle aggressively defending California to anyone ragging on our state, then the results come in and I remember oh right, we're insane.

NEW COMEDY BANG BANG what an ep what a time Kerri Kenney-Silver a true comedy GOAT

Just got off the phone with Wembanyama. He kept insisting “No, Devin, I’M proud of YOU!” Such a class act. Can’t wait to go camping with him in Big Sur this summer.

Everybody’s ACAB until it’s Shaq.

When I went to take my first bite of my ramen last night the spicy miso broth splashed directly into my eyeball and I had to run to the sink to flush my eye for 10 minutes and it still looked like I had pinkeye for the rest of the night and I vote!

Decided to bet big on Wembanyama scoring 30 points tonight, including a dunk that he finishes by hanging on the room, looking right into camera and mouthing, "This is for my best friend Devin Field."

I know I’m depressed about late night because I came dangerously close to posting a front-facing camera video of me earnestly sharing my thoughts on current events.

I love late night TV, so to lose an institution like The Late Show is fucked up and sad. RIP, and fuck the corporate ghouls that won’t rest until everything good in American culture is dead.

I simply must respect the attempt to spin

I'm actually as tall and as strong as Victor Wembanyama I just can't do all the basketball stuff.

How does Charles Barkley have better messaging on LGBTQIA rights than any elected Democrat?

I'm a catastrophically typical 36 year old white guy in every single way EXCEPT I think Steely Dan fucking sucks.

Remembering when Andy Sachs went viral for tearfully shouting, “Journalism fucking matters!”

I just really don't want the President's insatiable desire to shutter the workplace where I've spent the last nine years to affect my breezy, pre-summer vibe.

I worried what would happen to my town when they closed The Old Spaghetti Factory, but everything turned around when they opened The New Spaghetti Factory.

My dream is to get on Jeopardy, give an answer that forces Ken to ask me, “Can you be more specific?” then scream “YOU BET I CAN!” at the top of my lungs as my time expires and I lose the money.

I'm hard-pressed to think of a YouTube video title that would get me to click a link harder or faster than "Dad reacts to Sopranos ending"

Sometimes when I change my son’s diaper he locks eyes with me and slaps his penis as hard as he can while cackling, leaving me no choice but to acknowledge his status as the man of the house.

damn the Catholics are goin OFF today

So “activating” your “vocal stim” is just quoting a clip you like? NOT EVERY WHEEL NEEDS TO BE REINVENTED

Anybody down to chat on AIM later?

If Hemingway were alive today it’d be “Amazon return: baby shoes, never worn.”

The only ICE I want at the airport are the cubes floating in my Dunkalatte!

It's that time again For @shaundiston.bsky.social and I to do two person improv And for you to buy a ticket to see it live at UCB LA Or to watch the livestream And if you're a UCB student, it's FREE 3/25 7:00pm JOIN US, WON'T YOU

You, Me, Dupree and Tuscany

I’m just tryina bring about the Butlerian jihad death to AI my brothers let the holy war begin

This is so fucking lame. Every other competing country is having a non-stop baseball party, while team USA is joylessly listening to a weirdo tell the story of that time he killed a guy.

Betting big money that the Oscars will once again be swept by the hit 2001 comedy Rat Race (the TBS broadcast cut)

Tuned into the stadium feed of the Spurs game just in time to see The Coyote wheel out a t-shirt cannon and make the sign of the cross before opening fire. Adding him to my spreadsheet of mascots that are practicing Catholics.

Your government blew up an elementary school and lied right to your face about it and your taxes are due next month.

My one-year-old son walked up to me, smiling, his hand closed in a fist. “What have you got there?” I asked, and he laughed as he dropped a live spider in my open palm.

There are few more appropriate ways to commemorate America's 250th anniversary than by starting a new forever war in the Middle East.

I think it’s all of our civic duty to leave this weekend at least as informed about Iran as we are about Shia LaBeouf’s Mardi Gras experience.

These two fucks have a show tomorrow night and there's nothing you can do but ATTEND live and live-streamed get tickets here: ucbcomedy.com/show/double-...

HOT SHOW THIS WEEK get tickets for Devin & Diston 2/25 7:00pm @ UCB ucbcomedy.com/show/double-...

Many are saying this may be the most Californian person to ever exist:

I can’t watch The Olympics anymore. If I wanted a bunch of 17 year olds to make me feel bad about myself, I’d go to the mall.

when the bagel place gives me the wrong kind of bagel but I don’t realize it until I get home so now I have to decide if I want to eat the bagel I won’t really like or go back to the bagel place and make a little scene

Democrats are currently texting me like “I have DEPRESSION because of THE BAD STUFF which is why I’m SITTING DOWN and the only cure is YOUR MONEY.”

On our flight yesterday we sat behind a 4 year old boy who asked us if we spoke Chinese, told us we MUST go to Singapore, then spent the next four hours farting almost constantly.

Books are so fucking good, man. Huge shoutout to everyone who’s writing ‘em.

Wayne and Garth would have had a damn field day with this one:

Hey @stephenking.bsky.social does it ever piss you off that you spend months - sometimes years - crafting gripping narratives filled with complex characters and rich ideas only to have me read them in like two days?