I wish my feed was as flooded with news about the killing of innocent Gazan children as it is for the killing of a Nazi.

BREAKING: In response to Trump claiming he wishes to enter heaven, angels have been sent to the celestial border to paint the golden gates black in an effort to make climbing them more difficult.

No one loves a basic ass rebrand!

We tend to be attracted to people on a similar intellectual level… so OF COURSE he’s a pedophile!

America used to be known as the melting pot but it feels more like one of those segmented lunch plates with a toddler throwing a tantrum if the different foods touch while he’s also actively trying to throw the vegetables on the floor.

I’m curious if the people who thought their angry god sent storms to stop a pride parade also believe he is casting judgment by drowning christian children in Texas, or do they pick and choose which weather is “god’s judgment” like they pick and choose which verses in their book they want to follow?

Death of an Empire

On the bright side, Tony Keith can’t make any more shitty music this time!

Guys, guys, guys… what if the greatest song in the world… was Lava Chicken?!

May thy riot gear chip and shatter! #NoKings

Not now! Not ever! #NoKings

To the “good ol’ boys” whining about Mexican flags flown in LA, California was Mexican for longer than the Confederacy even existed but you’re still flying that traitor rag so kindly shut your cousin-fucking mouth the whole hell up!

Best part of this is the wife, JD, having to watch from the cuck couch while his daddy breaks up with the mistress.

Can the White House be next?

Man, I miss the 80’s when every song was 7 songs in a trench-coat! 9 minute tracks of pure chaos!

Lmao sucks to be JD, knowing the Pope’s last act on earth was to tell you to go fuck yourself before yeeting his mortal coil!

With Hispanic Americans being illegally kidnapped by ICE left and right, how long before Raphael… er “Ted” Cruz realizes “Cruz” isn’t safe either and changes his name to Ted Smith?

Gotta love how the left and the right both picked comic book mascots to represent themselves. The left picked the Nazi killer because of how much they hate Nazis and the right picked the cop killer because of how much they hate... er... *checks notes... LOVE cops? #ConservativeLogic

Unpopular opinion, consequences of fascism aside, migrant workers shouldn’t make poverty wages either!

Dude on the bottom right looks like he’s about to call the Annexation of Puerto Rico!

Katy Perry in space for 10 minutes is supposed to be female empowerment but NASA is currently firing women and erasing their historical contributions?

really would be good to have an opposition party

UK: Renewable energy to surpass fossil fuels for first time in history. US: “Hold my beer!” *starts trade war with island populated entirely by penguins.

For everyone who told me they were't voting for Trump because they agreed with his racism, they just wanted cheaper groceries (such an old-fashioned word)... were you lying, stupid, or both?

Booker really should have picked a different day to do this because Democrats actually showing signs of life really feels like an April Fools’ Day joke.

BREAKING: After a successful NIL campaign to restore the Slobber Hog to Arkansas Basketball, Razorback Football finalizes plans to raise $1M in NIL funds by threatening to replace all branding in Donald W. Reynolds with the Forward Facing Hog if goal is not met by spring game.

It's okay that Kid Crack Rock isn't in a suit because his country (dumbfukistan) is currently at war with big deodorant.

I’m not anti-Christian, I’m anti-sexism, anti-slavery, anti-racism, anti-homophobia, and anti-genocide… it’s a shame Christianity isn’t.

Instead of a Trump biopic… I would pay ANY amount of money to see a Liar Liar sequel with Trump incapable of basic daily functions when the ability to lie is taken from him!

Would Grindr even be able to stay in business without Republicans?

When you were just minding your own business and somehow ended up in the war chat.

Pau Revere: So, it’s 1 if by land, 2 if by sea, correct? Some Colonial Journalist: Oh, they’re coming by sea. They wrote out their plans in an unencrypted pamphlet that they distributed to their generals 2 hours ago and for some stupid reason they included me in their mailing list.

Kind of interesting that the headlines are telling me how rough the astronauts look who finally made it back to earth but they include a picture of the woman?

The other 37% claims to be the “majority” because they don’t know how percentages work.

On the 7th day… I post artwork. #ArtisticNude #Photography #NudePhotography #ArtNude #FineArtNude #Boudoir #Art #ArtisticNudePhotography

Musk has lost $100B this month and is still the wealthiest prick on the planet. If I have an unexpected $35 charge come out of my account I'm financially wrecked and have to chose between groceries and medicine until payday! #CompostTheRich

Life Hack: Dress your kid up like a Tesla before sending them to school incase there's an active shooter so the cops will actually attempt to protect them.

Tesla should really rake their parking lots of leaves and release the water and maybe their cars wouldn't all be burning down!

2 adjudicated rapists walk into a bar… er, Oval Office, I meant Oval Office.

You want to get rid of diversity, equity, and inclusion? Let’s start with the electoral college! No special treatment for minority rural red states.