I feel it again, the siren's call to acquire a tungsten cube.

Popeye's is the best fast food within a 7 minute walk of my basement.

Getting wings at Popeye's should be like getting lobster at Red Lobster. The wings should be in a tank that badly approximates their natural environment and then I pick which ones I want and they go directly into the fryer.

Surprised The Weather Channel still exists in its same form. Haven't had cable in forever so I expected them to rebrand to some BS like Weathr with a companion streaming platform called Weathr+

Found an EDM song that features the audio of Nick Cage yelling 'not the bees!' as the drop. Kind of a bad time period to be living through but damn if it doesn't have a silver lining here and there.

Give me dopamine or give me death.

The piss tunnel was surprisingly empty and clean this morning.

Sometimes I think food delivery apps should have an option where the food is thrown out the car window as the driver speeds past and you have to catch it in like a net on a stick.

Woke up mad again that we don't use the metric system.

unhappy with this development

just opened up a therapy video call by instinctively asking 'should I share my screen?'

It is a good day to make waffles.

just extended excel across two screens as a single continuous window and immediately got 5 hitpoints added to my health bar

Escalators are treated more gently than stairs because people have a healthy fear of being eaten alive. Like a poisonous frog in the jungle signalling with bright coloring, escalators signal danger through fragility. The little wobble when you step onto them wards off mistreatment.

Can't stand when I have a song stuck in my head and go to listen to it only to discover I was in the wrong key. Deeply annoying.

Left grad school feeling anxious about my capacity to someday produce pristine, polished drawing sets as I assumed this was required to have a successful career. I have been disillusioned now.

when the licensed architect starts getting uppity on the accessibility consultation zoom call about numbers that aren't interpretable

Dreaming in architectural drawings and spreadsheets now. Seeing wall details flashing before me, breaking my immersion as I move through a dream building. Legit just doing work while I sleep on a weekend. This has to stop, my dreams used to be fun adventures. Gotta make some art to reset.

Wishing I could shoot scifi style laser beams from my right eye again.

I feel like the frustrated step dad of a petulant teenager. But it's not a child and I'm not a father figure, it's just my hair refusing to act its age, fighting me in everything just to be contrarian.

New job has me dreaming in spreadsheets.

With prep time, I'm convinced I could at least 42 Popeyes chicken tenders.

11 months later, the final chicken in my flock has begun to lay. Big wins out in the Sherbet Kingdom.

As I seek formal employment, I have gradually integrated myself into The Corporate Way. Just yesterday, I passed a new milestone when I made a questionnaire and sent it to members of my network as a casual data mining exercise. The Higher Ups shall take notice of me soon.

Call me a slop eating mongrel, but the Bacon King™ is the best chain fast food burger within a 3 mile radius.

Testing a new home economic model: my wife tells me how much any plate of food I hand her for dinner would cost if it were purchased from the Whole Foods hot bar, and we subtract what it actually cost. The differential directly informs the joy of eating it.

Sous vide cooking is basically intentionally loading your food up with 23x the normal amount of micro plastics in exchange for giving all your favorite meat dishes the consistency of cat food. #sousvide

"Chocolate milk" is a blanket term for any type of dairy or dairy-adjacent chocolate flavored cream drink, there are no clear standards on viscosity, sugar content, or cream aroma. You might get lightly cacao'd 1% milk, thick and dark lactose ganache, or just straight up melted chocolate ice cream.

I am now an Autodesk™️ Certified™️ Revit™️ User™️

New meds have me able to watch an entire YouTube video in a way I have not been able to in a long time.

Are you alright, babe? You hardly looked at the Owala water bottle wall as we walked past.

It finally happened to me. Throughout all the various periods of job hunting, I've never had it actually happen to me until today. I ran and ran but it caught up to me. I showed up for a job interview and it turned out to be a straight up, honest to god pyramid scheme seminar.

Breakfast of mediocre underachievers with clean hands.

Sitting in a dark room, jobless, saying 'chat, am I cooked?' over and over to no one.

Been weirdly fixated on insulation products recently. Foam, batting, etc. Strange comfort in knowing it's out there for purchase in these cold and depressing times. Ready to make a more perfect cocoon. In some parallel timeline I've become a shut in. Deliver me, Owens Corning 703.

Cracking open a cold, fall beverage in my urban kitchen. Feeling #thankful for good craft beer.

Big W for salmon, too, underappreciated mode of travel.

Missing low poly video game aesthetics and dissociating hard enough to wish I could simply turn down the graphics settings on real life and be charmed by the sharp edges and aliased boundaries.

Watching cable tv for the first time in about a decade and just saw a late night phone sex ad that used the line "we can talk about anything you want: tell us about your favorite video games or anime series..." That's verbatim. I'm fascinated in a sort of awful way.

The cookie dough chubs you used to get were better than the new 'safe to eat raw' chubs we are forced to buy now. The danger made it more satisfying.

I realized recently that I am simply an NPC in a simulation when the graphics glitched and I saw my cat get bonus points for a new personal record time for stealing my spot on the couch.

My cat, when hungry, acts like a man with nothing left to lose. Like he was a good detective for 23 years until his white whale serial killer took his wife and daughter. Like he's going to put it all on the line. Like this time, it's personal.

Bit of molting going on here, innit.

Found some internet wisdom on how to manually adjust your glasses prescription for computer use, ordered some custom orange tinted bad boys, and now I can see every single subpixel diode from a distance of 29 feet. I have become unstoppable in my orange tint.

Felt like the days were getting really short so I timed it today: The sun was out for exactly 73 minutes and 14 seconds before it was abruptly night time again. Is anyone looking into this??

What are we calling posts on this app? Bleets? Like sheep? Skeets? Like, uh...

The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.

I don't understand what compels people to come up with interesting, provocative, or funny things to post. My head is empty, my brain is smooth. The last time I had a complex thought, I spent three years getting another degree. Not doing that again, no thank you. #smoothbrain

I immigrated to this country to steal jobs, then leveraged my insane DTI ratio from my 76 stolen jobs to purchase a 12 storey five over one mixed use building. I live on the roof in an illegal corrugated metal shack so I don't lose my #grindset. If you wanted to, you would.