BYU's mascot, Cosmo the Cougar, is the most athletic, fearless, and secretive mascot in all of college sports! Only the most athletic and fearless of students are able to tryout and become Cosmo. I'd say he makes for an incredibly handsome fatass, though. 🤎 🎨 @jangle.bsky.social

Scored FIFA 14 for the Xbox One for just $3 on eBay, and also NBA 2K22 for Xbox Series X for just $7 on eBay. 👍

Did you know that the very first NFL game was played between the Dayton Triangles and Columbus Panhandles on October 3rd, 1920? The Triangles won 14-0, but I'm sure it was one hell of a game! I have no name for this Dayton Triangles wolf, so we'll just call him Wolf. :P 🎨 @broadsword.bsky.social

Glad to be getting new tires for my car tomorrow. That’s one huge bill I won’t have to think about anymore.

Did you know that the very first NFL game was played between the Dayton Triangles and Columbus Panhandles on October 3rd, 1920? The Triangles won 14-0, but I'm sure it was one hell of a game! I have no name for this Columbus Panhandles fox, so we'll just call him Fox. :P 🎨 @jangle.bsky.social

Keep those coffee hoses pumping, and pumping, and pumping, and pumping...

Back to your cubicle apartment where you can always be monitored through your company-owned PC, profit slave.

I don't care what time it is. I'm going to chug coffee of my own volition.

Hogarth DeGrosse, the most powerful man in Texas. CEO of DeGrosse Industries based in Houston, primarily an oil corporation but also a trucking business. He's brash, mildly hot-headed, abusive to employees, and wildly disregards environmental and safety regulations. 🎨 @broadsword.bsky.social

Why have I been playing as a Coach in Madden games this entire time when there's an Owner mode? I'm no coach, I'm a God damn businessman. I'm an OWNER. I OWN YOU.

I had a lovely (and delicious) Monday. How about you~?

Tar Heels got a hot mascot so I had to ruin Rameses, sorry~

Been wanting to buy Stellaris so I can play a civilization utilizing a purely corporate government. I absolutely adore that it's something you're able to do in that game. Maybe if/when it goes on sale on Xbox.

Employees gradually growing uneasy just from the sheer presence alone of their immense CEO is truly a beautiful sight to see. 🤎

I’m thinking teriyaki chicken and vegetables with a truckload of fried rice tonight… Chop chop, employees! 👏

Good morning, peons. I have the next couple of days off while you still work through the week to make me money. How great is that~? *Lounges on his massive waterbed while an industrial hose pump, pump, pumps delicious coffee into him.* 🤎

Just scored NBA 2K21 for only $6. 👍

Upon further research, I am a happy hyena. Paradox does in fact bring all of its DLC to the Xbox version of Stellaris, just not at the same time that they release on PC. It comes at a later time. I am okay with this.

Ooh, I forgot that Stellaris has an Xbox version... If they have as much DLC on here as they do on PC, I wouldn't mind creating an interstellar corporate government with Gnash Incorporated in that game...

I don't need a hot tub, I need a swimming pool-sized hot tub. Not only because I take up ample space, but simply because I can and you can't.

My work week's done, so it's finally time for a couple or so days off. *Collapses his enormous rump into his equally large and luxurious sofa to play some games.*

*GLOORP. GLOORP. GLOORP. GLOORP. The industrial-sized coffee hose pumps and pumps rhythmically into the enormous hyena, filling up his abyssal belly and then some…*

How would you like to see your life-encapsulating CEO in a basketball uniform? 🏀

NBA 2K20 is my first basketball game. Now, I’m no on-court player, but I am a world-class businessman and manager as you all well know… I‘ll get any team to a championship game in good time.

I love clothes that literally tell you and others just how fat you are. "Wideload", "Fatass", "Hog", "Glutton", etc.. Because that's what you are, and you deserve to be literally labeled as such.

Honestly? What a long day. I'm just glad it's over. Tomorrow is Monday, though... and I love Mondays. But for now, I'm enjoying some basketball. 🏀

*The enormous hyena THOOM, THOOM, THOOMS laboriously through his mansion, his gluttonous frame bouncing against the floor with each footfall while he chugs his multi-gallon container of fresh coffee.* I love coffee…

You are my profit slaves. ALL OF YOU.

Close-up of my incredibly handsome face. It also looks REALLY good on my Xbox profile, heheh.

Side Note Basketball is wonderful, both college and the NBA. Love it all.

Work is done for me. Time to recline and relax in my penthouse~. *Lights up a massive cigar.*

Good morning, profit slaves. Enjoy your weekend. I’ll see you back at work on Monday. *Bursts into egomaniacal laughter, his enormous frame bouncing against his penthouse floor to the rhythm of his laughter.*

Cubicle apartments… What a brilliant idea from me. Gnash Incorporated HQ will be built up even bigger with cubicle apartment levels that are monitored 24/7. Employees that are too fat to leave work… welcome to your new homes.

You’ll be so fat in your office chair that your cubicle will eventually become your new apartment. You will never leave my building, and I’ll always be able to monitor you. Welcome to your life at Gnash Incorporated, profit slave.

The worst person you know has all of the power and money in the world. AKA, yours truly.

An enormously fat CEO like me causing an apocalyptic scenario... I LOVE IT.

Playing sports? Too fat. Owning and managing teams? You’ve called the right hyena.

Kyle de Ville, your worst capitalistic nightmare and gleeful glutton. But, that's "Mr. de Ville" to you, Employee Number Whogivesadamn. I'm the hyena that you're going to be employed to for the rest of your life, and I'm everywhere. I own you no matter where you are. 🎨 @jangle.bsky.social