We could clear the national debt in a week by charging people to piss on Trumps grave

Is there a lore reason to keep going?

My Magic 8 ball is telling me that I need head

I must be at the top of my class by the way I Cum Laude

Sometimes, working in construction is fun

The lion does not concern himself with the chest pain after several energy drinks

TOTK had NO BUSINESS making Purah this HOTTTT 🔥🥵

Not to worry anyone….but I’m currently have the tummiest of aches. I may not make it. Tell my partner that I think she’s kinda fine

Unboxing video buts it’s just a video of my partner giving birth to our daughter

Unboxing vid but it’s just me opening a pack of cigarettes

Trump’s hand is like that, not because of Heart problems, but because he be jerkin’ his shit crazy style

Tuggin it for Jesus

Wanted to do a fit check. There wasn’t a full length mirror and wanted people to see the shoes

Just made it to my hotel

The AC is out on my flight to Pittsburgh…this is my 13th reason why

Everything is a sign from the universe if you’re delusional enough

I like it when she rides me I can give her a thumbs down to keep her humble

30 days Vape free as of today. Ngl this has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done

Call me Jimmy Johns the way I cum freaky fast

Everything to me is “rage bait” because I inherited my dad’s anger issues

I haven’t been the biggest supporter of Universes Beyond, but if Hasbro did a Legend of Zelda set, I’d lose my fucking mind

I’m not Robophobic. I have a rose toy at home

BY THE POWER OF THR ARCANE….I CAST…PREMATURE EJACU-hhhnnngggg

Baby girl LOVES the Pokemon theme song. It’s like the Holy Spirit consumes her and she has to dance

I feel like a bear would let me pet it because it can sense I have a pure heart

If you give a mouse a Drunk Ciggy

The new Ho-oh Immersive is INSANE

Who has photoshop?? I need a huge favor

Stork deniers will see this and say “must have been the sex”

If I get one more recruiter/headhunter message me on linked in, I’m blowing my head clean off

Oh hunny, it’s a little late for the hanger….

She said yes!!

I’m hoping she agrees to meet with me.

I’m realizing that 6:18 AM EST is too early for this type of post

A fantasy novel about our hero, Sir Cumcised against Rumpled Foreskin and his evil army of Smegmen

The lion does not concern himself with wiping

Swimsuits…but like…pants

She Jujutsu on my Kaisen til GOJO JUST FUCKING DIES???WTF MAN

She Jo-Jo on my Bizarre til I Adventure

She Demon on my Slayer til I Kimetsu no Yaiba

She Attack on my Titan til I…. Idk there’s something there

Fellas, is this cucumber average sized? I feel like it has a great personality

NC banned disposable vapes (which I understand why. Terrible for the enviroment and kids get a hold of them too easy.) But now being forced to quit just sucks so much. Breaking this habit is about kill me

The lion will reach for the officers service weapon

The lion doesn’t concern himself with tax laws

The lion doesn’t concern himself with MTG players

Can you continue to “Station” after you reach the 20 or whatever counters?

Wren learned a new trick

So I took inventory of the 3 decks I still occasionally play (Kinnan, Shorikai, and Seton.) These 238 cards are just for play, not including the ones in my collection. At what point do I get insurance?

Enron: “I’m going to get rid of all the bots on twitter” Twitter now: