2yo can snap her fingers because Captain Underpants.

Koan from a 6yo: if a kid who's been naughty all year wishes for a lump of coal for Christmas - what does he get?

Aaaaaaaaah! Why no one can get the kids/family stuff right? You can set up an iPad with a kid account and control it from your iPhone but you cannot add said device to your Apple One Care? Even though the kid's account is part of your Apple family? 🤦🏼‍♀️🫠😭

Love is.. doing your kids' Duolingo late at night to protect their streak.

How spelling works according to 2yo: - zee oh ee, Zoe! - zee oh ee, Mama! - zee oh ee, Papa! ...

Only those who finished their last year's advent calendar can get a new one. @thewoobles.bsky.social

Oh hi, long time no see! 👋 It's been 5 years, but here's a new release of perkeep.org .... github.com/perkeep/perk...

Imagine if Buddha was a woman. A princess, got married to a handsome guy, had a baby. And decided to run off. Abandoning everything, including the newborn. Can you imagine the outcry? Even if she achieved the enlightenment and tried to spread the word, I'm pretty sure ppl would never let go.

Me: What do we say, baby? 2yo: No.

Imagine if the burial traditions didn't change since prehistoric/ancient times - we'd be putting Amazon Prime, Spotify subscription, platinum AMEX, etc. into the graves.

Ask yourself today: do I really need another USB-C cable?

What is 15 mins? Corp worker: it's a lot! it's half of a meeting! Toddler: but I didn't finish poking that thing on the ground!

Sometimes you don't need an answer - you just need the language to talk about the problem.

Is it also like that in other countries? Lanes vs. speed limits. Going over the speed limit (mph): Left | middle | right -------------------- 5+ | 2-5 | 0 And if there's an HOV lane, it's for either people who drive safely or those who treat it as the leftmost lane (i.e., the speediest).

I'm reading The Invention of Good and Evil: a new hypothesis for why religion got invented - I always thought mostly due to "here's the rug under which we'll sweep everything we don't understand" - but his logic is:

Severance has nothing on cruise ships.

Offline first experience (a.k.a. no internet on the cruise ship): * Duolingo 8/10: works without a hitch but seemingly doesn't reconcile the offline results when internet is finally available (?!) * NYT games 0/10: doesn't work at all! shouldn't be that hard to keep in memory one five letter word?

Boys started learning German on Duolingo. Expectations: they would read books in German. Reality: they're trying to figure out how to tease each other.

Victoria Bug zoo: - ppl with shellfish allergies cannot eat insects because they're such close relatives - it's very dangerous to hold snails because of how many different pathogens their slime contains (think meningitis)

TIL about chess pie.

QotD: "Looking for the odds is better than looking for the meaning"

Oh to be a sister of two older brothers. 2yo learned to say "sus fart".

Alright, stop, little pot, stop. Can we move on from the kiss cam incident?

2yo: Mama, up! Me: But I'm tired, baby, I'm laying down. 2yo: No, Mama, lay up!

I wonder who escalator oncall is and what their mitigations are.

Because they can't elope.

Why do melons have to have big weddings?

When you have a 2yo and an 8yo, your car music becomes pretty eclectic. Twinkle twinkle by CoComelon followed by School's Out by Alice Cooper.

7yo and 6yo boys' math. "3-second farts make 5 people pinch their noses. 11-second farts make 8 people pinch their noses". I suppose the question is how many people pinch their noses in how many seconds. Me, I wonder what does one eat for an 11-second fart.

There are insensitive and indifferent people - and then there are people who add emoji reaction ability to their app without the search function.

@

Showing the toddler a red and a blue shovel: "which one do you want?" She thinks for a couple of seconds and replies "yellow". May you all know what you want like her.

Ships have a port side and a Starbucks side.

Finally watching Instagram paid off.

I love Wallace the Brave.

I've been reading a book about Russia (called Successor, about how Nemtsov was Yeltsin's choice originally) and as a result I think I understand better what's happening in the US.

One of the cute things about the 2yo is how she calls herself "baby" - never says her own name and if you ask to repeat it, says "baby" instead 🥰

I hate that feature of two answers - "which one do you prefer?" - in ChatGPT. I feel rushed reading (sometimes they disappear by themselves!) and whenever I click "I prefer this one" - it disappears! and the other one stays.

How old is the toddler? She's "if you did something I wanted to do, I'll undo it and redo it" years old, why do you ask?

If anyone wants to know what happens next, check out @deborahb.bsky.social's book "The Poison Squad," full of grisly tales of death and illness that led to the founding of the FDA over a century ago. www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/312067...

Nap time: 10 mins in. 2yo bellowing "twinkle twinkle little star". This is going fine. This is going just fine.

Until the age of three there's no problem that cannot be solved by snacks.

Overheard at the Legoland hotel during breakfast: mom to a kid with a hint of accusation "soda? this early?" So I'm guessing it's like alcohol with adults - acceptable to start after noon only.

Convo with 7yo: - and then we watched a movie where everyone dies - so you watched Hamlet? - what's Hamlet? - it's a famous play where everybody dies at the end - no, they all died at different times

Hidden valley is a surprisingly good game!

Everyone thinks that Romeo and Juliet is a story about love - while it's actually a cautionary tale about importance of keeping the communication open with your stakeholders about your strategy.

English, the language in which "bejeweled" means you've got on a lot of jewels but "beheaded" means you've lost the only head you have. Befuddling.

My understanding of chaos got updated today during the kindergarten field trip to a children's museum.

I should trademark TacOS and BurritOS just because.