Leisure Dog being very leisurely.

We live in really exhausting times. What Bluesky does is take all those exhausting, shitty headlines and pummel you in the face with them ad nauseum. Bluesky turns the shit conveyor belt into the I Love Lucy gag, except it's not chocolate.

I see 2026 is off to a 2025 start.

There are few sounds worse than my dogs trying to lap up the remaining slurry in their water dish.

When I say AI is going to kill us, I mean it's literally going to kill us. From the Texas Monthly Bum Steer Awards:

The Peloton woman looks like she's actively being exorcised.

Routine used to be come home, scroll for 20-30 min to get a feel for all the shit I missed while at work, feel passing existential dread, and go to sleep. Now, it's scroll for about six seconds, get swallowed up in existential dread, stare at walls until alarm goes off.

He's just such an asshole.

Received three Sirius promo letters in a single day. Opened none of them. If only there was an electronic form of communication that didn't go directly into recycling.

Fuck THE osu

That's a lot of shitty headlines about a lot of shitty people determined to kill our country for the shittiest person.

Oh, good. This dumb decade continues to rip off the 80s in all the worst ways.

Farmhouse sinks are perfect for anyone who enjoys chasing a single crumb around the sink for five minutes trying to convince it to go down the drain.

What accountability exists for this century's greatest fraud?

It feels like DOJ and DOD should be more concerned about illegal orders than warning people about following illegal orders. I'm no law talking guy, but this seems pretty cut-and-dry.

You thought it was him at first too, right? Especially after reading the headline?

Imagine sitting around the story desk batting around what to run when some fetus suggests a trend that guys are wearing sweaters in fall. And then the editor: Yes. Do that.

Breaking: It's too fucking hot for November

Geno Smith is shit.

My daughter unlocked my iphone with face id and now she needs therapy

It's good to know that Landon Thomas will live on forever as a euphemism for an utterly corruptible prick absent any moral fiber whatsoever.

I'm certain the Stockholm syndrome shared among Trump's top cronies is giving way to tantalizing levels of euphoria with today's email trove. But then they realize as soon as he falls they're all going to jail for the rest of their misguided lives and have to get back to gratuitous ass-kissing.

Karoline Leavitt is scouring Indeed like Trump at a teenage beauty pageant tonight.

Gonna need a bigger swamp.

For the next 6-7 hours there will be images of me appearing to close my eyes.

Mike Johnson 50 years from now.

Weird. It's like all the shit they said the democrats would do, they're doing. And fucking radio silence from all the assholes who screamed the loudest.

It's no longer a matter of the bar being low, it's that the bar no longer exists.

This looks like something either a stupid person or AI would come up with when prompted to "design a very classy bathroom."

At least I'll be able to tell time in style as we ooze along this dumb timeline.

Pretty fuckin' incredible that this timeline wakes up every morning with exciting new ways to get grosser and grosser.

This looks like I something I drew as a child. Poorly.

I would really like to see a member of the press stand up and ask Mike Johnson directly, "What the fuck exactly is wrong with you?" It's pointless asking that cabbage a real question as he's guaranteed to feign not know anything about whatever is being asked, so fuck it. Just ask what we all want.

This demented fuck took a cognitive exam 6mo ago. You don't repeat them every six months unless you're competing with a donkey for "who can pick the camel first?"

Can't wait for CBS' new show Miami ICE.

Dickerson's departure from CBS is the canary in the coalmine and should be viewed with alarm. A genuinely decent person widely respected cut bait on the Weiss shitshow.

Tony Romo's voice hits the same as a bulldog eating a bowl of mayonnaise.

Jimmy Fallon is Vichy Steve Urkel.

Reporter: "Have you given any more thought to suspending habeas corpus?" Trump: "We've seen no boats off that coast since we started patrolling. People say it's the safest habeas has ever been."

Every pregame show is overflowing with the most obnoxious, vapid exchange of mind-numbingly trivial bullshit from basic dudes whose volumes and mental ages got stuck at 11.

Was not immediately clear to me if Rex Tillerson was trying to negotiate with Elon Musk or Kim Jong Un. I miss Rex Tillerson.

Can we please add inflatable lawn decorations to the tariff list? Like 1000% for baby Yoda anything?

In a world of Canada geese, be a duck.

Pat McAfee's persona hits the same way as stumbling through dog shit immediately after getting out of bed.

It's meandering and pointless like a Dr Bronner's soap label, but also menacing and shitty.

If you're going to do a stupid truck mod, don't bury your fuel nozzle.

I hate August. The unrelenting heat has everyone in a mean, shitty mood. There's no sign of fall. Hurricanes are the only shot at rain. Everything green becomes tired, yellow parchment. And the news cycle is an exhausting conveyor belt of the dumbest, worst people.

We all know they're eventually going to crash and burn leaving nothing but a greasy stain on our history, but holy shit, having to read the daily chronicles of their flameout is fucking exhausting.

Emil Bove, upon hearing news of his confirmation by other soulless fucks.

One of the central lessons I've tried to drill into my children is never double-down on stupid. If you get caught, own up and accept responsibility. Lie, and you'll make things so much worse. And then there's Trump.