Reading the news today, we need only look to history to know what comes next: Gary Oldman hijacks Air Force One.

Okay. No one can make fun of Vancouver for rioting after losing in the Stanley Cup finals anymore because the US just invaded Venezuela after being eliminated from the World Juniors.

This will make you feel old. The kids from Stranger Things are now the same age as Winona Ryder in the first season of Strangers Things

My spotify wrapped (please don't tell Kim. Thx).

Maybe 2026 will be the year that Apple finally comes clean and admits that the iPod was actually named after The Breeder's seminal 1990 album Pod.

Oh my god.

Unlike Enron, The Pixies do not use Special Purpose Entities to hide debt and inflate revenue.

More like DEAD Cheney, amirite?

Bad news for PalanQueer, the internal LGBTQ+ support group. Yes, that is a real thing and not a joke. The reason I know this is because the real identity of Crackity Jones is Peter Thiel.

I'm not sure why they still get to be hallowed when they haven't had a new studio release in 18 years. I've released five albums in that time! But sure. Hallow them.

I know lots of folks are wondering: yes, I did in fact write this song. This wasn't the result of an AI prompt to "make a song that feels like if the 90s was tepid and gutless". Everything here is above board and I assume I am credited on the album for my contributions.

Frank Black emceeing the Devil's sixth birthday party

In hindsight, those cold dead eyes, emotionless expression, and penchant for "barbecuing" "meat" that "definitely" "isn't human ha ha ha" should have tipped us off.

Uh guys, does anybody know how The Zodiac Killer got his hands on a pair of Ray-Ban Meta AI glasses in 1969?

Frank Black when an underwater guy gets killed by ten million pounds of sludge from New York and New Jersey (also: the underwater guy controlled the sea)

"I'm Frankenstein, my special weakness is fire" Buddy, let me tell you about a little place called San Fransisco. You ain't special.

Frank Black when there's 6 people who want to play Mario Kart but there's only 4 controllers.

It's crazy that the entire city of LA seems to hate their hockey team as much as I, Frank Black, do. Sad day for Will Ferrell.

Probably the time I started a band with Joey Santiago in 1986, made 9 studio albums with him, featured him on my 6 solo albums, and played over 1400 live shows together. Still kicking myself for not asking for a selfie!

I had no idea that BNL song was about a real guy.

Frank Black having just noticed that someone pooped in the community pool

Frank Black trying to get picked as the audience participant at a magic show.

Frank Black in any American city other than DC

Frank Black going through customs on a business trip