chokes and wheezes

𝓨𝓸𝓾 𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝓲𝓷𝓿𝓲𝓽𝓮𝓭... Ｌｅｎａ　Ｌｕｔｈｏｒ＇ｓ　Ｗｉｎｔｅｒ　Ｇａｌａ — Being held in Metropolis on December 13th — Dress code: Formal — Open invitation (excluding Lex Luthor) (also minors allowed) — Free hors d'oeuvre and an open bar will be provided — Donations to charity encouraged

I thought you were Junior Asparagus

“EGGPLANT!”

“I literally was born with a costume and got onto a fight almost immediately.”

looks to the left

“I’m the coolest member of the super family. I’m awesome.” leans on a wall

writes ‘Release Legends 3, Online, and that weird stop motion one too I guess’

// I guess it’s not that dated. They still release content sometimes. Every time the planets align

Is that a blowup doll with a large chin?

// Jesus did I date myself with that reference

HR stands for Homestar Runner

“You kidding me? I had a lot of space adventures. Even got a bunch of friends out there. Granted, it’s not easy to get everyone together. The universe is a big place after all. …not all of them heard of the holiday though. But they joined in anyways.”

“Oh I can tell you about some crazy Thanksgivings. Spent one in space once with a couple of my buddies out there. …turns out there was an evil alien killer turkey who tried to crash the party. …sort of killed our appetite, but it was a fun night.”

“Yeah. Once you add the Kent family, the Luthors, the Lanes, the Els, it all gets very confusing. …Heck, you could even count Rex and Dubbilex as father figures. And that just makes things more complicated.”

“I…guess Ma Kent is the closest thing I got to a mom. But I was more thinking of birth mom.”

“I don’t have a mom. Also…I don’t know why but I like the sound of your voice… …did you do some acting in the past? Maybe on The Hunger Games?”

“…Sort of feels like the look appeals to some people but not entirely…on both sides of the spectrum.”

“No. No. Wait. Bat Face has a point about boobs.”

“So is it just his head that’s a bat’s head? Because…that’s certainly a choice.”

“Thank god for universal translators” he looks at the device in his wrist

WATCH ARTHUR. Enjoy the tribute to your dad and find Muffy relatable because you’re so rich or whatever

And you went with Cocomelon as the next show? For shame!

UNACCEPTABLE. …you’re too good for Cocomelon. Watch Bluey.

“NO! I only have like…thirty of those! Drop it!”

sings into hair comb “I'm a bitch, I'm a lover”

Oh. I’m sorry. Not everyone does math problems on the toilet. Bet the most excitement you get there is playing a game of sudoku from a newspaper that you’re still reading a physical copy of.

Because sometimes I just want to watch a video when sitting on the toilet rather than being alone with my thoughts. Everyone does it Tim!

What’s next? Don’t watch YouTube videos while in the bathroom?

“What? Sometimes you got to have a little fun.”

“I just realized I can use my tactile telekinesis to make a spiral while pissing!”

“Is that Santa Claus dressed up as a knight hanging out at a bar?”

// Taking mental health breaks from this place can be good. Because sometimes clowns can really be acting like teenagers in their first Twitter drama. A break helped me and now I (mostly) don’t hate it here. Remember your mental health always comes first

“Sometimes you want to go where everybody doesn’t know your name.”

“Didn’t know you were feeling alone. Then again, most of the whole heroic encounters there wasn’t much talking going on. …kind of feel guilty about that now… …then again you do try to eat people.”

AINT NO MOUNTAIN HIGH ENOUGH

“You know. Us in the hero business die so often, it’s a wonder anyone comes to our funerals.”

“I think there was a second discount Temu Inertia one time too that nobody remembers.”

“Intertia? Oh that piece of…”

“Me. I’m supervising. I’m very responsible.”

“Under supervision! As long as we don’t leave a certain sector or start any bar fights, we should be good… …although now that I say that out loud, and knowing my luck…Hmmm…”

// I really do like the Cosmoteers and feel like they could be nice side characters for Conner to visit I mean except for Cyborg Superboy. He’d make a great antagonist though

“Tactile telekinesis”

“Well, yeah. I still talk to some of The Ravers...And then there are The Cosmoteers…granted, the Cosmoteers are sort of under a kind of under probation and high surveillance. Sort of happens when you piss off the Green Lantern Corps.”

“Been thinking of going off planet for a few drinks with some friends”

“I have a complicated relationship with fatherhood.”

“Hey Google. Can you help me out?” Kelex just turns his head and stares at Conner, before leaving the room “COME ON! I WAS JOKING!”

“One of life’s great mysteries. Thankfully, they’d have to be a very quick draw of the pistol to shoot you on sight.”

“I feel like a lot of people want to shoot Parker on sight”

// BERNARD?!? Meanwhile TimKon, TimSteph, KonSteph, and TimKonSteph shippers