went to a knitting group at the library today & made friends with two old ladies named gladys & susan. absolutely peak experience highly recommend.

thoughts are really bad today lads

really tired of ppl treating they/them like some kind of universal correct pronoun hhhh

you know what. you know what i think vander deserves to get manhandled have silco push him around for enrichment. make him feel tinyyy

read a fic where a trans character had my same name AND deadname like excuse me

back on my vanco wrestling au that only exists in my head bullshit. anyway they should have a dog collar match

anyway thinking abt vanco helping each other get dressed for idk some kind of event. ooo maybe their post-divorce wedding they throw together in the bar with just enough planning to have some decorations around.

streaming rdr2 for a friend & ive gotta say dutch & hosea are so vanco coded but like. as a cross section. like vandermatthews are vertical vanco is horizontal. they form a toxic old man yaoi tartan. you understand.

at the degree of desperation in my job search rn that im considering applying to work at a c*tholic school. granted im being extremely picky about it but still.

blocking a sweater vest & my entire room smells like a LARGE wet dog

short of treating my depression't how do i stop sleeping for like 9 hours at a time & taking twice as long as usual to do anything -_-

watching every production of hamlet i can find online in preparation for book club tomorrow. the book is not hamlet.

The Power Keeps Going Out And The Only Way To Keep It On Is By Putting Vander In Horny Situations

reposting for no reason at all

(wip) kind of guy who cups his own titty while thinking. #vander

tonal whiplash from last post but who caaaaaaaaares. anyway vander trying to suck his own dick but theres. u know theres stuff in the way. so he ends up going for the titties instead.

can u imagine the weekly last drop stitch n bitch

i think the topic of suicidality in fanon is really interesting in terms of who's "allowed" to be suicidal (ive gotta roll my eyes whenever the word "allowed" starts getting thrown around, but for lack of a better term), who isnt, and whether that suicidality is treated with sympathy or derision

trying to get my brain to come around to the idea of writing has for the past month been like. idk its that jar of bees metaphor. have not been able to write a fucking word.

lays face down on the floor & screams. in a normal way

Vander arcane is a beautiful man

silcos being a pervert about his husband again #vanco #zaundads

thought of a good vander pose i want to draw but its Difficult...... lads do we believe

[tries to read in the dark without my glasses] why the fuck am i getting a headache

god. dysphoria hitting like a freight train lately. [concerning thought] [concerning thought] [concerning thought]

vander with a fiber arts instagram where he posts pictures of his wips only he puts them on if theyre clothes so theres a wall of photos of him in like 20% of a sweater with no sleeves yet that Maybe covers his tits. no wait theres gotta be underboob.

kind of want to keep working on my s1e9 But Jayce Gets Tried au kind of want to start something else kind of want to never write anything again ever. so u can see the conundrum here.

vanco are a heart-print boxers 4 heart-print boxers couple except when vanders wearing a delicate little lacy thong. send post.

this is apropos of nothing but what constantly pisses me off is that i would absolutely choose my deadname for myself, its even traditionally masculine! but my parents use it as a nickname for the name they picked for me which is old lady levels of feminine. crosses my arms and sits on the floor.

Hello friends. I have created a little interest check survey for a Vanco Horror Themed Bang. Would love for you to circulate this around and provide your feedback if this is something you would be interested in. I will be accepting responses until the end of April. #Zaundads #Vanco #Arcane

BRAIN BLAST. WHERES MY FUNGER POST

(wip) back on my bullshit #vander

gotta get more insane about vanders tits. this is both a reminder and a call to action

sometimes im like "well surely aloes not THAT bad for my skin" and then i happen to touch my face after drying my hands with a towel my mom dried her hands with after washing her hands with her soap that has aloe and then my entire face breaks out for a week

guards! milk that man!!

im still thinking about vander being suddenly self-conscious of his body post-reconciliation. before it was just a fact of aging and he wasnt trying to impress anyone but then silco comes back and vander worries that silco thinks hes let himself go, in both physique and ability to keep fighting

playing funger2 rn and rotating ideas about arcane funger2 au.... vander running the bar like daan does...

something something vander saying hes going out to get bread and silco having a howls moving castle strap reaction

idea stuck in my brain of vander doing like. a sexy calendar as a fundraiser.

alt text: tumblr user ghostapop: i feel like a lot of fandoms pride themselves on being gayer than the source material but have they considered being less racist and less misogynistic than the source material as well . could be revolutionary

lays on the floor sobbing. some of my students said theyre going to be sad when my class is over 😭😭😭

something something vander getting shanked or something & going to the cannery (uhh idk how he knows where silco is) because he doesnt want the girls to see another parent die & hes banking on silco still feeling responsibility to take care of them if theres no one else left.

its also Get Really Emotional About Sanji o'clock

anyway i want to draw another vander. possibly a vanco. but my brain has forgotten how to formulate ideas.

[talking loudly on the phone] yeah i just think silco is unfuckable in like a mechanical sense like it would be like trying to thread a needle with a hotdog. he gets his pinkie finger up there and feels like a size queen.

i think its important to note that transfem aus/interpretations in fanfic are not nearly as ubiquitous as transmasc aus/interpretations in fanfic. like lets think about some reasons this might be and how they could correlate to certain societal and systemic elephants in the room.

having one of those days where its like. i mean i always feel like im just stuck borrowing some random body thats godawful but sometimes i can distract myself from feeling that way & today is not one of the days where i can distract myself.

puts my head in my hands. vander turned out p cute in that drawing i kind of want to draw some more if my brain lets me.

"im at soup" is exactly the zosan dynamic