Taxi!

Bellbottoms

I forgot it was October and didn't bring a fucking coat or beanie im so screwed

I WOKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND FOUND IT IN MY BED

God fucking dammit I lost one of the earrings I really like

Fucking goddamn house centipedes fucking fuck goddamn fucking always showing up all the time

I've been writing since I was 19 years old I'm now 47

Streaming some stuff even though nobody ever comes to watch or talk to me or anything link in replies

Banned from the Cars subreddit for saying Lightning McQueen just Isn’t That Interesting.

I should go to Michigan tomorrow

Its a beautiful day to get drunk and beat Lost Kingdoms really fast

I feel like in another life I'd be really good at being one of those guys on the wall street floor that's always yelling and on the phone and super stressed out all the time

She's a ten but she gets all weirded out when you suggest playing the powerball together

You're going to realize it someday

Becoming fluent in Italian so that I can watch Fellini movies and still not understand them

Well I just got into town about an hour ago

Doing runs if you even care link in replies

I guess my beard works

Very manic day today if something goes awry this could all go off the rails quickly

Dance to the plastic beat

I don't understand it

every time i hang out with trevor i come out of it with a buff to my comedic ability

I don't know what the fuck I ever got married for

I'm not saying I'll get 0 sleep tonight but I've been in bed for 40 minutes and this is exactly how every 0 sleep night feels in the first 40 minutes

I guess I needed a couple bad weeks to keep me honest

after all that's not how this thing works

She's a ten but she's talking up Paul Skenes on Skubal playoff bump day just to get to me

The guys at the airport they can't find my bag and they've lost my suitcase

I am so serious when I say this: hi

She's a ten but she's over there blaming Conan right now

Please don't hurt me I'm european

I think Craig Ferguson is a top 5 artist all time for me

Bellbottoms

I had a dream there were house centipedes all over the place it was bad

I've watched the Baby Driver Bellbottoms scene like 17 times in the last week

I guess my new haircut works

Good lord im making an awful impression on Rocco rn

There's a whole bunch of noise but I've finally gotten good at filing it into the noise category

I encountered another massive house centipede tonight and acted accordingly

jesus fucking christ

its in the car

novelty t shirt idea: I'd rather be watching Drive

This sucks I fucking hate this shit

She's a ten but she wasted her summer praying in vain for a savior to rise from these streets

do u think my cats know that they are awesome

I'm so glad Lions football is back

I've gone the wrong way around and caught myself in a whole mess of trouble