🎈 Can you RIDE A UNICYCLE? If so, I want to meet you! 🎪 For the duration of 2026, If you can either ride a unicycle or prove that you once knew how to ride a unicycle*, I'll give you a discount on your first session.

I'm a pretty optimistic person but I feel like the universe is testing me this winter. The furnace went out at 11pm on a Friday at 0⁰ and it feels like the last straw 😭

Do we know any good photographers in NYC? hoping to do a shoot while I'm there next month!

Once us girlies figure out how to put "meaningful infrastructure investment" on our wishlists, the cities will be saved

where to next?

catch me through the doorway. I'll smile when I turn around and realize it's you.

A man in the grocery store stopped me and said, "Let me ask you a question. Do you want that ring now, or do I gotta ask your momma first?"

even I am not sure exactly what happened here. but I do know it was good.

a body that is more wild terrain than calculated architecture.

let's go somewhere warm in 2026?

I'm turning 31! 🍰 Thanks to every who has helped me celebrate becoming a prime number again. It's been a rollercoaster of a year. I feel so lucky to have y'all in my life, in small and large ways.

craving some cozy ☕

I don't post many of my gifts but I am currently in love with these obscenely expensive (but Josie-proof and cat-safe) fake candles. They look so real! Thank you to everyone who helps make my home a cozy haven. Holiday vibes just intensified.

If anyone wants some cringe and amusement... "LANGUAGE PATTERNS OF THE P**TUTE: Some Insights into a Deviant Subculture", in a 1978 journal on semantics You could literally publish anything the 70s, so sad I wasn't alive to capitalize on such an era. jstor.org/stable/42575...

Results are in! I've carefully examined the entirety of my stocking collection while sick in bed. FINDING: 50% of my stockings have runs. CONCLUSION: The girl should purchase stockings 2 pairs at a time to maximize the number of whole, untorn sets available on a given day.

The last two years, I pour out a whiskey for a beloved coworker who started in the industry far too young and died far too young. Her smile was a beacon. If you want to join me honoring her, pour one out and send some love or money to @swoonalliance.bsky.social

Sick again for the third time in three weeks 😭 Did one of you curse me?? What is this?!

Announcing Freyja's Holiday Raffle! It's been a hard year for a lot of people. In the spirit of the holidays, I am raffling off a 2 hour date and other prizes to raise money for food aid organizations in Pittsburgh. Get in touch for tickets!

December is my birthday month! Pull the ribbon & unwrap...🎁

Can't make this one, but these industry socials are always fun! Pittsburgh providers, come through!

"I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned & winked... ...I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose....but choosing one meant losing all the rest..." -slyvia plath

"Yes boss, I can stay late today to help you with a few things" 😇

I've noticed that some lovers are impatient to know me. We share deep intimacy quickly, but everything takes time. I get impatient too. The slow unraveling is necessary for intertwining. Finding how you fit with me fit with you fit with us.

There's so much going on that I'm closing my inbox for a few weeks! If we already have plans to hang out, those will be honored. But no new requests for now. Thanks for being patient!🙏

I'm sad to say that I'm cancelling my visit to Cleveland due to an emergency with a dear friend. I really hate disappointing people, but it's more important for me to be here with her. Cleveland, I promise to make it up to you some day!

i almost fell off a wall and died for this photo, so please give me likes. it encourages bad behavior.

Had a lovely week break recently! I'm sorry to report that I only managed one photo. I guess I too busy being 'in the moment' and 'spending time with family' and all that nonsense. I deprived all of you!

I leave free souvenirs! 😇

The most important service companions offer is teaching men that lamps are good, actually.

I rather like black & white photos, but they usually do horribly on the internet. online humans just don't like to look at B&W on their screens. I'll do my best to help rehabilitate you, add a little color to your life 😇

happy pumpkin season 🎃

Welp, I lost yet another phone number to getting banned. 😢 I probably won't bother getting another. This is what happens when y'all text me inappropriate things on unencrypted channels.

Sinnamon is a motherfucking angel and powerful force for good. She needs to cut short an advocacy trip to fly home for an unexpected eviction court. If you have a bone, please throw it. 🙏

twinkle toes

this is how you use the sink, right?

I have rare same-day availability, after 4p! Send me a note by 5:30p if you'd like to claim it. Otherwise I'm going to take myself out dancing 💃

you've been too long without your femme fatale

josie oakley old documents 🤝 shredded

This photo is old, but I was thinking today about the scallops he made us for dinner that night. They were so perfect and juicy and supple and bite-able and melty and- it was a good night.

This is why we get along. 🍓 He gave me a snack and left the most eloquent note.

I'm not afraid of your shadows.

Pretending to be posh

Squeezing the last bits from summer. By September, I always start feeling the smallest pit of dread that winter is already approaching. Lovers are excellent antidotes. Let's get together and briefly freeze time, holding a moment in the unstoppable march of time & season.

I love when the toyboy in me gets to come out to play

Absolutely in love with these wine glasses inspired by the Sagrada Familia in Barcelona. Thank youuuu for finally getting them off my wishlist and into my hand. 🎾

are you an ocean or lake person? personally, I'm a lake girl.

thanks for sharing your birthday with me...you do know you're not supposed to buy me presents? It's your birthday, not mine! Thank you for chawanmushi, roses, and cotton eyed joe. 🌉

If you've never been railed to Orinoco Flow, respectfully, you haven't lived

if you make a "blow" joke in the comments, you are required under federal law to take me to the beach

I had a cancellation tonight! Let me know if you'd like to whisk me away tonight for shenanigans. Message me by 5:30p, otherwise I'm going to have a really cozy night in. 🤗