#booksky #book #audiobook #bookssky

Just bought this game and I cannot WAIT to play it. #gaming #gamer #lovecraft

We mourn what once was. We cherish what is. We stand in awe of what could be. We continue to hold on to hope. —Helen Keller

The risk I took was calculated, but FUCK am I bad at math.

Veni, vidi, visa. I came, I saw, I did some shopping.

#booksky #book #audiobook #bookssky

Block Party for @icegov.bsky.social pass it on

Ruin a band by changing one letter: Job Zombie

To all ICE agents: when Trump is gone, so is your job and your immunity. And we the people will not forget what you have done.

Call me ROY G. BIV because I'm visibly on the spectrum.

Do not train a child to learn by force or harshness; but direct them to it by what amuses their minds, so that you may be better able to discover with accuracy the peculiar bent of the genius of each. —Plato

Window chimkins. #catsofbluesky #sphynxcats #cats

"Fuck, you're tight," I whisper to my monthly budget.

Someone told me to list two structures that hold water. I said, "Well, dam."

#booksky #book #audiobook

"Bone broth" sounds like the name for the wet spot on your bed after sex.

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

Sesame Street did NOT prepare me for this shit.

I apparently need new glasses. Turns out the Nerds candy I ate earlier was aquarium gravel.

#booksky #book #audiobook

This isn't what I meant when I asked for nudes. #catsofbluesky #sphynxcat #cat

#booksky #book #audiobook

🤦‍♂️

#booksky #book #audiobook

It's mah birfday today. I'm 44.

The more easily someone gets offended, the less intelligent they actually are.

OVERSTIMULATED #catsofbluesky #cats #sphynxcat

🤦‍♂️

🐻‍❄️

MFer.

Technically, every mom on earth is a spawn point.

💀🎄

Well I'll be damned.

After dinner my wife asked if I could clear the table. I had to get a running start, but I made it.

[dipping my feather quill into the inkwell and adjusting my spectacles] Dearest diary, it seems the day is different but the shit remaineth the same.

My grandma is in the ER. Her blood pressure is skyrocketing to where they can't register it.

GODDAMMIT CAINE

#booksky #book #audiobook

He's using my hand as a pillow. #catsofbluesky #sphynxcat #cat

👀 #gaming

I hope @bsky.app releases an update to the app soon that fixes the notification bell issue.

The banana is no longer the food item that looks most phone-like. The pop-tart is.

My grandfather used to tell me that when he was a kid, there was no gravity, weather, or penises.

🎅 = 🧙‍♂️?

When I was a kid, I used to think I was able to teleport because I would fall asleep on the couch and wake up in my bed the next morning.

It me. 🎄 😵‍💫

Neutralize a horror movie. Heckraiser.

"Dad. What da fuq." #catsofbluesky #sphynxcat #cat

People ask me, "You're autistic? Does that mean you take everything literally?" And I say "Nah, that's kleptomaniacs."