Sarah Schauer
@sarah-schauer.bsky.social
📤 5568
📥 4
📝 31
Lesbian comedian and person who reads a lot of books.
Hell yeah. Getting raptured on September 23. Virgo/libra cusp rebirthday.
16 days ago
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one for each nostril as I’m eating chicken pot pie
about 2 months ago
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“this could kill a small Victorian child” anything could kill one of em, that’s why they had so many
6 months ago
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Not sure if this is uncouth, but Princess Diana would’ve been an incredible masc lesbian
8 months ago
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🫦 for you my queen
8 months ago
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I have a podcast coming out 2/12 đźšżđź’
bit.ly/SchauerThoug...
8 months ago
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throwing my ex and best friend a moving out party (DONT JUDGE. I had limited supplies lol)
8 months ago
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*apologies in advance* while moving someones panties to the side makes logical sense, gripping the crotch fabric and ripping it open like a bag of chips makes sexual sense
8 months ago
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should I write erotica? like every once in a while?
8 months ago
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okay so who the fuck keeps looking the gift horse in the mouth?
9 months ago
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having a roster as a lesbian seems kind of rude, there’s 7 of us
9 months ago
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Just posted a Substack with book recommendations on immigration and included legal, mental health, community, etc. resources for immigrants! Please check out and share ♥️
substack.com/@sarahschaue...
9 months ago
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I know those boys scissor. Probably sign their texts with “X&🟠”
9 months ago
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you think YOURE shitting, pissing, crying, and throwing up?
9 months ago
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wow. they banned TikTok after I specifically asked them not to
9 months ago
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Well damn. Now we know how much our words are worth, at least $1 billion a month. Speaking truth to power knocks the wind out of their pockets
9 months ago
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If you’re not American and you’re keeping TikTok you should make note of every American musician and American *based* company that still promotes (thru international channels) on TikTok after the ban! They seem very quiet! Screenshots will do :)
9 months ago
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Lesbian Martha May Whovier
9 months ago
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here! take my data. I don’t even WANT it
9 months ago
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you don’t “seek out” other gay people. you light a cigarette on the beach and then gay hands appear to block the wind for you. grab them. never let go
9 months ago
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someone (who shall remain nameless) keeps licking their groin.
9 months ago
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not to be a debward downdog but I foresee no joy in the near or distant future
9 months ago
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thinking about replacing my couch with a large, flat rock so I fully lizard
9 months ago
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me, gods toughest soldier, reading the news every morning
9 months ago
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all things considered, smoking a cig with my windows rolled up is actually incredibly responsible atm
9 months ago
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the man, the myth, the legend - Dumpward Nugglebottom is 13 years old today! Wish him happy birthday or suffer unknown horrors!
9 months ago
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