Good morning to the first December 4th since 2022 that I haven't had one of my cases being argued (and lost) before the Supreme Court.

The important thing is that the "giant vagina sculpture" is still somehow less a giant vagina sculpture than the 9/11 memorial donated by Russia to Bayonne, NJ (after Jersey City refused to take it)

I don't know much about tennis people so the phrase "Court is one of the greatest tennis players" in the subhead reads like "Stadium is very good at baseball, that's why it's in so many games"

Re-titling actual episodes. (Slight spoilers for the well-known 30 year-old show Neon Genesis Evangelion, I guess?)

Hi, person who has sex sometimes here! the main thing that determines whether you and someone you go on a date with will have sex is "how horny you two are." hope that helps!

Pretty sure @ghostesq.bsky.social needs to see today's Wizard of Id strip and I'm sorry about that.

I have concerns about fairness in sports and those concerns lead me to hold opinions like "I think pitchers should have to hit" and "the pitch clock creates undue pressure to throw bad pitches on windy days," not "life should be bad for trans people"

look a lot of this falklands discourse is dumb but for personal reasons it's very important that islands belong to the state on the closer side of a body of water

Die Hard is a Bastille Day movie because it's about storming a large fortified building where armed people are holding captives

renewing my demand for Gatsby-themed porn entitled So We Beat Off

considering a bit where I piss everyone off at once by loudly insisting on "British sovereignty over Las Malvinas"

naming my fists Lerner and Loewe because they're gonna grow accustomed to your FACE

Partly the fault of Taylor Sheridan's inability to write good dialogue for women, which turns them into bland/ineffective ciphers even when the plot says they're right (see also Wind River). Of course, it doesn't help that these guys are predisposed to think the woman is dumb and wrong.

It's really funny that Anderson Cooper didn't even go a full block from his house to shoot the outside segment of this.

what a weird approach to fundraising

The real thing is that if you have Alberta poking up to the 60th parallel it gets MUCH harder to justify using an inset to minimize the size of Alaska.

That cancelled TV show you'll never stop thinking about.

Eleven days ago I randomly decided to watch a youtube video of a college production of The Real Inspector Hound and I was struck again by how, even though I mostly think of his "deeper" plays, Tom Stoppard could also pen some of the most perfect, weird farce ever written. RIP to one of the greats.

The joke where someone is supposed to be dressed as one of Santa's elves and instead they're a high fantasy elf will be funny every time.

All I'm saying is if I were a professor of Spanish language literature at Cornell I would have a course called Ithaca Is Borges

Repurposing from the other site: Canadians watching us talk about Thanksgiving

Fun fact: 0% of people operating restaurants in New York City selling food from another country live in those other countries. This is because it is very hard to operate a restaurant with a several thousand mile commute.

It's almost certainly unintentional but I love that the video starts in front of the AMC Empire 25, which in its original iteration 113 years ago was the Eltinge Theatre after renowned vaudeville/Broadway "female impersonator" (i.e., flamboyant drag performer and queer heartthrob) Julian Eltinge.

Every once in a while I'm forced to confront the fact that I was an outlier as a teenager for having elaborate fantasies about at least one guy in every history unit we studied and thus remembering the past as HORNIER than it actually was.

Can't get two things to be QUITE the same off-white color? Problematic beige gap.

I talk in this voice about lamps sometimes and no one ever understands why.

I recently got hyperfixated on an idea that @lawsomepup.bsky.social and I had been talking about for a couple years and actually wrote the damn thing. Here, for your enjoyment(?) is the final court opinion resolving the three-way custody battle over Superboy. archiveofourown.org/works/74457471

I don't think I can explain further but a lot of modern movie musicals have everyone doing every song as if they were doing a "[Person] Sings Broadway" concert instead of the way they'd sing performing in a musical, just way too many "MY version of this song" flourishes.

This clipboard in my building's laundry room was meant to be environmental storytelling in a bad postapocalyptic video game.

honestly it's been 374 years and no one has said it better than "solitary, poor, nasty, brutish and short"

what perfect album came out the year you turned 16? (gonna reveal myself as exactly the same kind of person I was at 16 with four selections)

This sucks but I especially like "No grandmother was ever asked on her deathbed what she wrote her thesis on" because yeah! I'd have asked her sometime before that and it would be fucking weird to ask basic biographical information in a loved one's last moments.

This kicks ass and also I bet that sounds great on a stadium sound system

5 favorite genres: - The vast shadowy conspiracy is just a few guys being weird - This/these guy(s) bungle(s) their way through a place causing problems for others - The world is unfair to these guys in particular - Noir/Heist But It's Kids - Let's watch the protagonist do a weirdly specific job

your last saved meme is your moral philosophy (not sure this actually qualifies as a meme but I'm not engaging in that line-drawing problem)

Apart from the Gender of it all, the complaint seems largely about a specific set of novels by men named John (Appointment in Samarra; Rabbit, Run) that found favor as edgy for their time losing respect, and people wouldn't be impressed if I painted Nude Descending a Staircase today either.

This doesn't really sound like Squid Game at all, but it does sound EXACTLY like Nerve (2016)

"too many dick scandals" factoid actualy just statistical error. average presidential dick has 0 scandals per year. Clintons Dick, which lives in pants & is involved in scandals 30 years apart, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

Sam Witwicky Came home To his friends and Bumblebee After serving in the conflict with the Decepticons

big takeaway from this important search is that he was subscribed to the jokeland at aol dot com mailing list in the mid-2010s

Shoutouts to my comrades in the "hum subvocally all the time" caucus

I need to admit that I am not an Elder Scrolls guy and every time I see the phrase "The Lusty Argonian Maid" as a meme instead of nodding in recognition my instinct is to sing it to the tune of "The Fletcher Memorial Home"

It's really unacceptable that for multiple months out of the year there isn't an MLB game to turn on when I have work to do at home in the evening.

For sale, baby socks, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo

This went out nationally, but this was my elementary school a couple years before I went there. www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9o1...

gonna just own the pretentiousness of liking weird movies and say the entire safety video shoot sequence that concludes Do Not Expect Too Much From The End Of The World is about as good as an ending can possibly be

me at the tapas bar