How dare they make me behave like that during women’s history month 🥵🤤😮‍💨🫦🧎‍♀️🙇‍♀️ #btsliveonnetflix

It’s Wicked 2 week. I don’t care.

Asked the new teacher to advise one of the school clubs to which she responded, “I’m a creative. I can’t be boxed in.” I- 🙂

If one more person changes their childhood nickname because of adulthood, I’m going to flip a table. I don’t know Will, Bree, Cammy, and Jo. I know Bill, Nana, Mimi, and Hanna. 😤

I took our tsunami advisory very seriously until I heard that everyone else was getting tsunami advisories too. And I knew we weren’t special so I was like whatever.

Dumb 💩 my 7yo asks me #9 Mommy? Does my name start with a 7 or an L?

Trumpers complaining about TEMU fees as if they don’t know who did it 🙄

Girls will send you content they think you’ll like. Guys will send you content they like.

Dumb 💩 my 7yo asks me #8 Why can’t I take my phone when I poo?…cuz I’ll get CRAMPS.

Dumb 💩 my 7yo asks me #7 *We have regular and double stuf oreos* Which should I eat—regular or stuffed crust?

Dumb 💩 my 7yo asks me #6 Is the “and” sign like a 4? But like a lowercase 4?

Dumb 💩 my LITERATE 7yo asks me #5 *staring at Pepsi label* Is this Pepsi or Coca-Cola?

Dumb 💩 my 7yo asks me #4 *writing the word ‘ yesterday ’* Do I have to write the ‘ ter ’ part?

Dumb 💩 my 7yo asks me #3 L: How long do I microwave this (slice of pizza)? Me: maybe 20 L: 20 seconds or 20 minutes?

Dumb 💩 my 7yo asks me #2 Can Elio (baby brother) eat this (tiny piece of styrofoam)?

Dumb 💩 my 7yo asks me #1 “Can I go poop?”

Home is where your smell is.

As a first-time “boy mom” I am convinced that men have only survived as long as they have because of their moms.

On the one hand, can’t say I spent my young adulthood reading classics without sounding pretentious. On the other, can’t say I’ve never read any popular YA series without sounding illiterate. 🙂

Now I just need my kpop boys on the algorithm and we’re good to go. Hello bsky! 🦋