Something I feel should probably be illegal but seems to be fine is when a company makes you take an aptitude test as part of the application process

my literal wife who married me and loves me called me sexy four days ago and I’m still riding that high

nosferhawktua — has anyone had this thought? just me?

I feel for republicans. Gotta be tough to be playing the “Is the guy I built my personality around for the last decade the subject of a worldwide conspiracy to frame him as a pedophile or is he just a pedophile” game constantly

I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many people who don’t watch SNL be so upset about the new SNL cast members

I thought legalizing gambling would be cool but once again capitalism has sucked all of the fun out of being a degenerate

jacking off to Lola Bunny call that a Gooney Tune

I wish the block button killed the person I was blocking

Actually feel really bad for Bethesda and the Oblivion remaster because it got completely overshadowed by the best game to be released since Oblivion came out the first time

look at my dog lawyer I’m going to jail 😭😭

Aside from the obvious reasons that it’s stupid, the gay son or thot daughter debate makes no sense. What makes you think your gay son couldn’t be a thot? If you don’t care you need to be asking yourself why you want to have sex so bad but also get mad when women have sex

If pee isn’t stored in the balls then why does it make more pee come out when I push my balls up while peeing ?

just got back from my first shift at the aura farm and nobody knew you

My body does not know the difference between being held at gunpoint and scrolling the LinkedIn timeline for even five minutes

There should be a sandwich that’s native to Chicago called the Sosa Sammy

Thinking about asking sabrina carpenter with black hair to play R.E.P.O. with me

Shoutout to ancient Greek poet Sappho for inventing being gay. That shit rocks

AI being shoehorned into every app you ever touch isn’t annoying at all. It’s actually fucking awesome if you’re stupid as fuck

Alright I’m so serious about posting skeets now please don’t give up on me

Making my Friday night pilgrimage to the beer store to buy beer I love this little life

We can **** as many CEOs as we want but I fear it won’t change much because the issue is more systemic than that. They can be replaced by someone who will sell out the working class just as much. Not saying it’s not a good first step though tbh it’s been pretty effective

Watching the Thanksgiving Day parade for the first time ever and wow this shit fucking sucks. Like, embarrassingly American — so commercialized and soulless it’s insane man

Monster truck being ugly cute

Just want to say scotch is probably the superior liquor. It’s like a liquid bonfire. It’s so good man idk

how you gonna be 5’6 dropping weights in the gym. the ground is right there just put them down

it’s Friday night baby you know what that means

When the fuck did I get almost 1k followers on here what is happening dude

Bluesky is great if you loved Twitter in 2015-2018 and are maybe a little bit of a shitlib

For a long time I thought The Menzingers’ best work was Rented World but now I’m thinking maybe it’s Hello Exile. Tough choice really tough choice

BTC may be at $92k but you still got 0 BiTChes

me: everyone should be comfortable in their own skin :) my brain: except for you me: except for me :)

As a note if any mooties from twitter have followed and I missed it lmk I miss you my beauties

I can tell bluesky is growing by the amount of random follows I’m receiving let’s fuckin go maybe I’ll actually use this now lmao

Praying that all those who voted for Trump see the light very soon. Whether I mean politically or when you die I’ll leave to interpretation

Came back to bluesky because of the legendary “my online domme lives in Tel Aviv” post. We’re really hitting our stride over here

Hey

Hey

matthew perry? more like matthew perished

my brain is stuck in 2015 twitter every time I try to be funny I default to a dialogue joke and those are kinda old now

her: you gotta be that picture of kevin james if u think we’re fuckin me:

hope everyone is having a lovely evening

my pregnant wife, giving birth: we need to get to the hospital me: who all gon be there

“we all have the same 24 hours” no we do NOT. mine are different and more cumbersome

mouse who somehow became an airline pilot: this is your captain squeaking

friday? more like fried day baby i’m high as hell

I kind of understand the boomer point of view of not even bothering to keep up with technology. too many social medias man how many places do I need to post about jacking off

I’m actually never allowed to die bc I get FOMO really bad

every time there is a four day week i’m like why aren’t we doing this all the time? we need more weekend. make tuesday the new monday or make friday the new saturday idc how we fucking do it just make it happen

I have got to start remembering to log onto this app. missed y’all xoxo no thoughts today sadly

getting a personal trainer is a beta mindset. you’re telling me you’re so weak U can’t even beat your own ass ??