Wes Streeting has defended Lord Peter Mandelson’s relationship with the late Jeffrey Epstein after it was revealed the Labour peer called the convicted paedophile his 'best pal'

Look at the GIRTH of this banana, bloody hell.

Eric Clapton’s ‘Tears in Heaven’

Somebody at my work just stopped showing up. Didn’t answer calls or owt. HR went round to their house - no answer. So they stopped paying them. A few months later the missing person got their 7 year old child to phone their boss and said “my dad says I can’t have shoes cos you stopped paying him”

Ricky Gervais in Epstein files, confirmed

I truly believe that Wes Streeting has the ideas, the charisma, and the likeability to be an even more historically hated Prime Minister than Keir Starmer

Calling @secondmentions.bsky.social - “unusually coloured commemorative flower”

Fucked it m8

Hello, im setting up a Crowdfunder campaign soon to help make Boundaries happen.. Im hoping to put together a few exclusive tracks as SUPPORTER REWARDS such as unreleased,live, weird or whatever fits. If you support Boundaries & would like to contribute something special..please get in touch. Graeme

You'd be fuming if your son bought you a 12" of a song you loved back in the day and it wasn't even the original, it was some weird edit that missed out at least the first two minutes. Then you find out he bought it from the Classic Vinyls section in John Lewis! Put that child up for fucking sale

MAGA man eats pavement after shouting slurs at No Kings protesters

“We have caught and compromised to a permanent end Ian Watkins”

He’s probably the only musician who, when dead, won’t suddenly get a burst of sales or streaming for his music. Good. The cunt.

Calling @secondmentions.bsky.social - “the chewy treats”

If your performance was “a force for social transformation”, then do it for £0.00?

Liew is ostensibly a sports writer at The Guardian but is emerging as one if its strongest moral voices. Here he is on the Riyadh comedy festival. No surprise that a loathsome weasel like Jimmy Carr appeared but so disappointed in Omid Djalili taking part. www.theguardian.com/commentisfre...

This is the maddest tour I've ever seen in my life. It seems like he's doing more gigs than there are days in the year.

Never mind if Transformers have gender, I want to know if the cupholder becomes their bumhole.

I'm forever seeing a shit take on social media, and saying 'what the fuck is this garbage?' and the answer is always Nick Cave

Channel 4 love wasting money on absolute shit and then complain that they are broke.

Elton John voice: It seems to me / that you lived your life/ like a fuckin piece of shit

“No other party can win here.”

Who remembers when Geoffrey drank Zippy's piss?

I was once bored on a Friday night and ten years ago I updated James Whale’s Wikipedia page so that it mentioned that he was sponsored by or did voiceovers for Ex-Lax, can’t remember which. I sure know how to party.

This description of Nick Cave is pretty much perfect

no matter your politics it’s disrespectful to joke about someone’s death. don’t say hulk hogan died when he tried to do an atomic leg drop and missed and bonked his head and bounced out of the ring and his pants flew off and his dick got twisted off the top rope. don’t say stuff like that

Hulk Hogan truly was the real America: an icon you were dutifully instructed to adore as a child and then every single piece of information about what he was, what he did, and what he thought about things made you hate him more and more, and in a way, yourself for falling for it.

Real discussion: CNN: Hey Dave it's CNN. Could you come on to talk about the death of Hulk Hogan Me: Hulk Hogan was a racist scab and a liar. He hated unions, Black people, and the truth and that's why he loved Donald Trump. What time do you want me? CNN: Great! Well.... so we'll keep looking

Remember Hulk Hogan said his biggest fear was being reincarnated into a black person? Some celestial being has the opportunity to do something very funny right now...

I'm sorry, but Russ Abbot's Madhouse and Superman IV: The Quest for Peace should NOT share title graphics technology.

TRUMP HAS GOUT

9/11

[being murdered while wearing a hard hat] murderer: (murdering) me: why aren’t you stabbing me in the hat

Point if you're dead

World War 3 kinda sucks, but you know, it was either this or pronouns

Mortifying experience at Pulp last night but taking comfort that I’m not the worst person Jarvis Cocker has ever impersonated

I don't care what you think of pro wrestling, Brody King wearing an abolish ice shirt at an AEW event in Mexico is awesome

Fucked if I’m protecting you from the hooded claw m8

Semi-annual reminder that anyone who accepts an honour from the British Empire is a toadying cunt. No exceptions.

calling it

A coke head squaddie with a string of failed businesses is a cunt with a terrible short temper? I won’t believe it.

Absolutely love it when Led by Donkeys amplify talking points from far-right arseholes on massive billboards, fucking love it mate.

Finally I created a perfect blend of Popeye and Donald Duck:

Absolutely delighted that this cunt is being hammered in the replies. Definite Oasis fan here.

Just taking my birth certificate swimming with me in case the person hosing down the pubes and plasters in the changing village reckons I have the wrong shaped skull to go for a piss