Owww, quit it. Owww, quit it.

The biggest chucklefucks are men, so we’ve got that going for us

The best part about clinching the division in the last game on a Sunday afternoon? Day drinking.

How it started How it’s going

Many thanks to next year’s Dunedin Rays baseball team #BlueJays

still have 90 minutes to go and no cake

Heading out after watching a Jeff Hoffman save

The photos (attached) that the speed cameras take of my 2014 Dodge Grand Caravan do make it look pretty damn good.

Top songs about berries: 1. Raspberry Beret 2. Strawberry Fields 3. Blueberry Hill 4. Pump up the Jam

New UN group chat just formed.

Shhh let them cook

It’s a great day to ghost an Evangelical you owe money to.

You only get two challenges, but if you win them you get to pants all the umps

What’s this, Tropicana Thunder?

They keep talking about the Rapture tomorrow, but I'm hoping it's going to be more like ICE for Idiots

They aren’t the sacrifices that is “worth it” for no gun controls. American kids are

AI: confidently speaking out of its ass. Obviously made in its creators image.

Scheduling #theRapture for Taco Tuesday refutes the existence of God

Why do we keep hearing about the bread price fixing scandal, and the lawsuit for the bread price fixing scandal, and the $500M payout for the bread price fixing scandal, and if you qualify for the payout of the bread price fixing scandal, meanwhile bread is still $5 a loaf?

Sounds like the Catholic Church has an upcoming merger that needs to be approved by the FTC

Where the separate divisions of ANTIFA landed on the beaches of Normandy on June 6, 1944:

One might roll their eyes, but sending us the most unaware, boorish twunt of a man is actually the perfect representative of the Trump administration

annual goddammit moment

Love, thanks, and bonus Canadian citizenship to the Minnesota Twins

Almost Baby (ye)Savage time

If you need a little hope this morning - the current tween trend involves decorating clothespins with affirming messages, then clipping them on friends' backpacks when they're not looking. Here are a few that my 11-year-old decorated this weekend ❤️

They are not “coming from behind” wins, it’s a polite “no, you go first” Canadian stop sign

New groupie group name discovered

Spending the moments leading up to gametime playing El Mechón for the only Kirk that matters youtu.be/_gzTCNKPA-0?...

Thoughts and Prayers to all the unstable cis-white people learning about another unstable cis-white shooter

1. In the immediate aftermath of Charlie Kirk's shooting, the WSJ laundered claims that "transgender symbols" were found with the shooter's gun. Now, a press conference reveals that NO such symbols were found. WSJ owes a full retraction and apology. Subscribe to support our journalism.

Flashback to fighting with my brother and snitching on him to my mom

Solid effort to temper those "You can'r do that, I'm an American" vibes when travelling internationally

If you are worried this world is turning you into a cold, heartless cynic, do what I did and watch the trailer for the new John Candy documentary and HOLY FUCK my heart is warmed and the eye wetters work just fine. #ILikeMe #JohnCandy www.youtube.com/watch?v=PrcQ...

Next up: The Job Hogger. "Aging workers who refuse to leave their jobs and walk into the ocean because they still want to eat, or something."

Trump will rename: Dept of Defense to Dept of War, Dept of Health & Human Services to Depths of Inhumanity, Dept of Energy to Dept of Morons

Nobody is “grooming” your kids to be gay or trans but people ARE grooming them to be Nazis.

World's most petulant white man confuses one hobby horse, Why Western Birth Rates Are Down (the undesirable bro), with his other pet theory, the Origin Story of the Trans Woman (forged in awesomeness despite toxic masculinity)

As mystery and speculation swirls about, I am very thankful that we don’t have to wait three years for Jake Tapper’s blistering tell-all to sad-trombone on the bookshelves

Offer of a hug has been rescinded.

Forget booing, I’d rather give Brendon Little a hug right now

Ideally, if they’re gonna have an F-35 demonstration during the Air Show, they should also have a bunch of Gripens just giving it hell.

I am being forced to wear pants against my will

That reminds me, The Staircase In The Woods by @chuckwendig.bsky.social was a fun read. (Tho don't try it, Mississauga)

Send in the National Guard

It's PSL season: Pay Service Labourers. Fuck Starbucks forever.

Trump’s America has real “if you’re patrolling the streets might as well push a broom” vibes

LOL

Pardon my blunt Cockney, but if anybody demands to see your genitals in order to enter a women’s washroom, just calmly show them a photo of Nigel Farage’s face.

You have to admire the commitment to the bit