Oh so like every other revolutionary woman

Got a craving and thinking of getting a BLL: Bangin' Lot of Lollies

Jokes on you; I've got more internalised hate than you'll ever hate me as a person or concept for all of eternity.

All the things she said // running through my head // running through my head // running through my head (Forgot what my wife said to me)

I-

"They grow up so fast 🥹" [Talking to the moldy veg in my fridge]

You've heard of AI Slop but if you see it for a second time, does it become AI Sloppy Seconds

Idea for an educational comedy skit for kids: Stranger Danger Things

She's just like me 🥹

Woke up feeling "normal" today, which is odd cause the new "normal" is a terrible feeling of impending doom

I went to the Capybara Cafe and disappointed I didn't get to see at least one Glen Powell

Took my son to his very first Dragon Hot Pot

Cleaning the shower can take 30 minutes or all day, there's no in between.

The happiest part of my day is getting into bed at the end of the day.

A "fidge cigarette" is so much more apt than a "full fat coke". Millennials aren't always right.

Me trying to make friends with some sheep: "NOTHING BLEATS A JET2 HOLIDAY"

You met me at a very "big rice" time of my life

You met me at a very "hope this email finds you well!!!" time of my life.

Wife is laughing at me for referring to generic rice companies as "big rice"

This but with pokemon

Wanking. It's going to be wanking, isn't it.

[trying to muster up school drama classes] "Yeah, like, Dua Lipa isn't even that hot"

The best thing about having a kid is the sudden urge to then have another one

"getting to bed at 7:30pm" level of exhausted

I hope this email finds your smell

It's giving Animorphs vibes, but from an apparition to an Asian man.

Every night forever

"What do you regret most in life?" I dunno, but I'm sure my 2am brain will replay it a million times every night.

*snorts*

Great Australian Pods front page showing recently added podcasts including work from: @shaeganvishal.bsky.social @sandyosullivan.bsky.social @cyberbanshee.bsky.social Supported by lenny.fm www.greataustralianpods.com #GreatAusPods #AusPods #Podcast #Podcasts #Podcasting #Podcasters #Australia

When I became a parent, I didn't expect to repeat the daily phrase: "Are you pooing?"

I will I was a little bit taller I will I was baller…

*snorts*

Today I've done nothing and ached the entire time. Sounds like a regular Sunday.

The roses in the garden think it's spring or something

IYKYK WHAT IF I DONT KNOW THO

In laws brought round broken rice, like my soul.

1am. Struggling to sleep. Put on one of those black-screen-with-rain YouTube videos... and then it started to rain irl.

"with respect" and it's the most disrespectful thing you've ever heard

Watcha thinkin' about?

Type of day (cold) where it's 7pm and you already need to be in your dressing gown

[Sighs] [Lights cigarette] [Remembers I don't smoke] [coughs up a lung]

Got wood?

Fun fact: In Minecraft you eat 3³ meals a day

M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&MM&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&MM&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&MM&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&MM&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&

Not all photos are flattering

Is there a point to job hunting on a public holiday or nah

Watched Dunkirk (2017). Mum in tears. Cheers Nolan.