Tame Gazelle
@tamegazelle.bsky.social
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Hello Bambinos 😃| Don’t Sit Down ‘Cause I moved Your Chair | 📸 Insta _hrsbrgh_
6 days ago
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Successive governments have closed so many museums, you start to wonder how much Tutankhamen's death mask would fetch on Dickinson's Real Deal.
12 days ago
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12 days ago
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Christmas playlist sorted 😎
13 days ago
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If Bargain Hunt is filmed at genuine car boots, how come the teams never buy any stolen power tools or duty free Russian fags?
15 days ago
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There are two certainties in life under a Labour government: Assisted death and Taxes.
23 days ago
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Heading out to a gig, on a skool night. Get me! I took the precaution of taking the day off from work tomorrow.🥴
28 days ago
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28 days ago
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Cinnamon rolls baked by my eldest, I’ll be stealing these later 😁🥷🏻
28 days ago
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The Louvre was raided with as much ease as the Germans occupied Paris.
about 1 month ago
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When James Bond is abroad he is known as +44 07?
about 1 month ago
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I only trust one thing in the newspaper these days: Fish & Chips. And even that I take with a big pinch of salt.
about 1 month ago
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I hate seeing these drunks on the street with their cans of extra strong beer. They should pour it into a McDonald's cup like I do.
about 2 months ago
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Violent Swedish gangs are sending assassins to execute rivals, whilst they are holidaying in the Costa del Sol. So if you're going away, beware of the Swedish Guesthouse Mafia.
about 2 months ago
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There's a new board game called Articulate. But I pronounce it, Articulate.
about 2 months ago
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Jess Philips, James O’Brien and Gary Neville enter the castle for Celebrity Traitors.
about 2 months ago
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It’s a bit wild out 💨🍃 Footy training 7-8 for the boy, should be an interesting session.
about 2 months ago
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Lazy Tip: If you spill water, it will eventually dry.
about 2 months ago
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Do race horses slow down when they see police horses?
about 2 months ago
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I'm watching the Ryder Cup and it seems there is a link between obesity and Tourettes.
2 months ago
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Before we get to Movember if anyone wants to sponsor me to eat triangular Swiss chocolate next month I'm doing Octoblerone.
2 months ago
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Aliens: Take us to your leader. Me: I would wait a few years.
2 months ago
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Due to budget cuts, Trump will be flying to the UK on Ryanair Force One
2 months ago
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It’s Monday AGAIN, yaay! Living the Monday dream🤣
#MondayMotivation
#MondayMood
2 months ago
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I saw a weird man in Costa the other day. He was just sat there drinking coffee.
2 months ago
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I went for a job at Chanel's perfume warehouse. I was scent packing.
3 months ago
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reposted by
Tame Gazelle
Apollo Junction
3 months ago
‘What In The World’ is our second album to hit the charts. - The 30th biggest selling album in the UK this week. - Number 6 in the Official UK Record Store chart. - Number 8 in the Official UK Independent Album Chart. - And WE ARE BACK at number 1 in the Indie Breakers Chart.
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3 months ago
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It’s arrived! Looking forward to giving this a spin. Thanks guys
@apollojunction.bsky.social
@waxandbeans.bsky.social
3 months ago
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I don't like to speak ill of the dead. It's much more fun to demonize the living.
3 months ago
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Just spotted this in my local Morrisons. You have got to be fucking joking.
3 months ago
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Too many cooks spoil the broth could be paraphrased: The more brains, the worse the soup
3 months ago
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Rachel Reeves said that she intends to bring the state pension age back down to 65. So long as all of your grandparents are alive and still in work.
3 months ago
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The manager of Tesco's is asking customers to stop bringing knives into the stores. He said, "It’s our job to rob you guys."
3 months ago
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reposted by
Tame Gazelle
CHOPPER - Woke Boomer
3 months ago
Science is hard. You gotta prove it, test it, and reproduce the results. Pseudoscience is easy. You make it up, add some fear, and watch ignorant people spread it.
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The selection of men’s fragrance in duty free is abysmal and well overpriced. Debenhams online is far better.
3 months ago
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3 months ago
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Cannot wait for the colder weather. All the obese fuckers will be putting their clothes back on.
4 months ago
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I love airports, because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a beer at 6am while in track pants. Nobody cares.
4 months ago
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I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
4 months ago
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You’ll always stay young if you live honestly, eat slowly, sleep sufficiently, work industriously, worship faithfully and lie about your age.
4 months ago
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The trouble with getting to work on time is that it makes the day so long.
4 months ago
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Some cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go.
4 months ago
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Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
4 months ago
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It's not the fall that kills you, it's the sudden stop at the end.
4 months ago
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Never go to bed angry, stay up and fight.
4 months ago
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I didn’t choose this life – the algorithm chose it for me.
4 months ago
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Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with a slow Internet connection to see who they really are.
4 months ago
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I can totally keep secrets. It's the people I tell them to that can't.
4 months ago
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I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.
4 months ago
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