"I Only Have Eyes For You" by The Flamingos, but instead of a love song it's a fencer for the organ trade black market lamenting over recent supply issues.

(To the tune of Eleanor Rigby:) Oliver Bonas Boujy and bright, they sell clothes, but what's this, hey back up ... Big sippy cup? Go look at jumpers No don't mind me, I will read all the cards by the sandals ... And smell all the candles

No, I’m not on my way to the Pitbull concert. Yes, my head always looks like this.

Oh cool, we’re getting Severance-as-a-service for hotdesking

Language is fluid, contextual. For example, sometimes you might add the “-ness” suffix to the end of a word to indicate a broader condition or quality. Anyway, today I learned (during a meeting) you shouldn’t append it to “USP”.

I call it Bovril-naise and the cowards at Hellman’s are too blind to see a game changer when it falls in their lap 😡

How did Las Vegas avoid litigation when they copied New York’s Lady Liberty? Because they had a statue of imitations

Alan Rikmayall

When you step into an en-suite, have you left the bedroom? Or are you in a room that’s also inside the bedroom?

Without a doubt, triangular-cut toast is the most aesthetically pleasing. However, rectangular-cut toast is better for dipping in soup, because it offers a decent amount of surface area per dip, consistently, from start to finish.