alright, so the data in my paper isn't real. but the fact that it *could* be real says a lot about society

i must look into this

it has never been more over for evo psych than it is right now. this was all i had left, and it's gone, it's fucking gone

[average biologist]: i've been studying this conserved domain of unknown function for the past 2 years, and i still don't know what it's doing [average race science guy]: i SEE the fitness landscape of evolution stretching back in time. i HEAR its symphony. and it says i'm correct about racial IQ

currently at the annual Conference for Racial Hygiene, and i notice a striking lack of leftists here, which just goes to show how little they care about hygiene

you, a dumb normal person watching HBO's Succession: "wow, what a scathing satire of late capitalism" me, an evo psych professor who can actually understand HBO's Succession: "Logan Roy is old lion, Kendall Roy is da young lion"

oh, you think Elon is a weird freak for impregnating random women and abandoning them? have you considered that my evo psych graph says he's based, actually?

whoah

my research funding is gone, my paycheck has dried up, and i've had to resort to to cannibalising my newborn child to fend off starvation, but i am still thankful to Elon Musk. he has given me selection pressure, which will let me evolve super intelligence and strength

you aren’t hearing from the dems because they’re hard at work down in the crispr lab growing vats of 2028 candidates twice as racist and 3x as old as biden

i feel like there's been a miscommunication. i voted for Trump to cut the government funding for useless research, but instead he cut my research

this is NOT what i asked for!!

biology is just the study of goo. you're studying fucking goo

only people with 200+ IQ can solve this. i solved it within 10 minutes, fyi

not that it matters, but if i ever did a major crime and people found my Goodreads account, everyone would say that i have great taste in books

in light of recent events, i want to stress that evolutionary psychology actually teaches us that CEO's are good and should not be shot.

oh no, the CEO shooter is an evo psych guy. i fear this will politicize my our normally apolitical field of research :/

starting to get real sick of all these secretly high IQ janitors at my uni who keep solving difficult math equations on the chalkboard before i can

male peacocks carry around huge tails at their own detriment, as if to say "yeah my genes are so good that i can have this handicap". human males do the same thing but with IBS and lower back pain

for those still doubting my sexual market value: hundreds of gorgeous women have been liking my posts. all of them are named Sophie, which is an interesting but irrelevant detail in this story

spiralling into a suicidal depression when i realise that there are people with higher IQs than me

if i were to ever see a woman celebrating getting a PhD, my rudimentary male evolved psychology would have a psychotic break like one of those Lovecraft characters seeing incomprehensible cosmic horror

lol, there's a lab at my university studying microbes that live in volcanic environments. @elonmusk please GUT all this wasteful/useless academic bullshit research, but please give more funding for my research into applying evo psych theory in business schools

science got too political so it lost the public's trust, and by "public's trust" i mean me and by "got too political" i mean asking me to get vaccinated

lab book entry: what's even the point anymore man

*sigh* at this stupid thanksgiving dinner and my family believes classic twin studies are confounded can't accurately measure molecular heritability🤦

i am the Dark professor

developing a theory of "trickle down IQ"

since the libs have left twitter, the right-wingers have been forced to beef amongst themselves. currently, there's a beef between the right-wing guys who believe seed oils are bad and the right-wing guys who don't believe seed oils are bad

using my high intelligence, i've figured out how to generate my own podcasts in my mind, de novo, that i can listen to (in my mind). the podcasts are me talking about stuff like "wouldn't it be cool if...?" plus stuff i heard on Rogan

i just saw a video of a man with 210 IQ say that God is real. my mind = blown!!

my advisors are always saying shit like, "is that wise, my liege?"

have fun in your echo chamber, sheeple ✌️. i'm now on anti-echo chamber bluesky with other renegades, because we all agree that bluesky has become an echo chamber

my daily routine: • shape rotation of a cube in my mind: 4 sets of 12 reps • shape rotation of a larger cube in my mind: 3 sets of 6 reps • shape rotation of a hypercube cube in my mind: test my 1 rep max

owning the libs by doing slave labour to prove i'm high-IQ

so many new followers, yet i've hardly made any new posts. fools! "never interrupt your enemy when their making a mistake" - Sun Tzu

[guy who sits on the computer and posts a lot] if we want to start winning at politics, we gotta sit on the computer and post a lot

what our tribe needs is a powerful shaman

👋 hi new blueksy users. just want to provide you with some useful info to get you settled in. what you need to know is that i was here first. stay out of my territory

bluesky uses a logo of a butterfly. curious... [[my IQ kicks in]] the butterfly is a symbol of transformation and metamorphosis... [[enters dark IQ mode]] it is also a symbol of chaos

my top tip for dealing with times of stress is to overproduce mucus

there's going to be an evo psych advisor to the Trump administration

curious, i seem to have evolved a brain that only notices typos in important emails after i've sent them. not sure how this was advantageous in the Pleistocene, but it's quite maladaptive for me in today's age

i've figured out how to do this thing where i can download information into my brain by using my eyeballs to look at words. anyone else know about this??

try not to think of an elephant... but you just thought of an elephant, did you not? see what i did there? i hacked your mind

we need a way to measure IQ without the need to administer an IQ test. at some point, though, we will need a way to measure that measurement of IQ without the need to administer that IQ test test, and so on

my strategy for gaining followers on Bluesky is not making quality posts, it is to simply wait for Elon Musk to make a mistake. Sun Tzu

you never see tech billionaires funding research into stuff like solving the protein folding problem. it's always stuff about race and IQ. so the protein folding problem can't be all that important

all my problems in life could be solved if a tech billionaire would simply bankroll my fake research