Sorry my lunch break went long. Couldn’t leave the restaurant until the beat dropped in In the Air Tonight.

Pharmacies would make a killing if they also sold hot soup.

Me fighting with Microsoft this morning.

Went against every millennial instinct I have and made a phone call that resulted in a better rate than just buying something online.

Went to daycare pickup and one baby was bouncing happily on the teacher’s knee. The other was standing on top of a picnic table and power posing. I had to take the scary one home.

The way my baby clapped when Miranda said “that’s all” 💀.

The rains are returning to the PNW. Guess it’s time to take my Easter egg wreath off the front door.

Just forever chasing the high of the Full House at Disney World two-parter.

Got “per my last email”-ed this morning. And, honestly?

Micro-dosing self care with nano naps. (Playing peekaboo with the baby).

Are we ready to talk about how “Nothing Bundt Cakes” doesn’t really work as a punny business name?

Back to back baby illnesses make life extremely difficult and I’m also grateful it’s the biggest problem my family has at the moment.

I’m not the only one worried about all the time travelers’ passports, right? #Outlander

Time to eat cookie butter directly from the carton with a side of “Scottish” escapism.

Thought the power went out. Nope. The cat just figured out how to turn off the light switch to get me out of the bathtub.

Don’t mind me stillcrying at “Sleepytime” years after its premiere.

Is it too late for the Baroness Schraeder or Meredith Blake to be my stepmom? Because a Swiss boarding school sounds like a good deal right now.

Whenever I blow my nose the baby makes Darth Vader noises at me. Which is pretty bold mockery considering she gave me this virus to begin with.

7yo: Who is the Mad Hatter? Me: Remember, at the tea party with the hare and the mouse? 7yo: Oh, yeah! One of the nonsense boys.

Not my 10 month old enthusiastically signing “more” while she has cheese in her mouth, on her tray, and another piece in her hand.

Baby proofed the house a little too hard.

My daughter is a picky eater in only mysterious and unknowable ways. “Mama, can I have a piece of tuna to get this tomato taste out of my mouth?”

Watching Jeopardy! - “Mom, try to say the right thing *before* they [the contestants] do.” Nothing says family bonding like getting dragged by your 7yo.

As an English/German speaker, the algorithm sometimes also shows me posts in Dutch and I always have to double check I’m not having a stroke because why don’t I understand, but it seems like I should?!

Dismayed to report that making reasonable lifestyle changes during the last three weeks like focusing on “whole foods”, drinking less alcohol, and getting 7k+ steps a day makes me happier and down 5lbs so far.

Just me doing my Apple Fitness+ workout.

My child’s mispronounced words I don’t want to correct: Upslide down (upside down) The north cold (the North Pole) Fire distinguisher (fire extinguisher) Cone of ice (Kona ice snow cones)

To celebrate the end of school I took the 7yo to pancakes, pottery painting, mini-golf, the bookstore, the playground, a visit to her old preschool. As soon as we got home, “mom, what can I do-oooo?”

Why is Kaiser emailing me like I, or most Americans, have a choice in their health insurance company?

How’s the visit going with your in-laws, Cait? Pretty good! Then we pulled out Ticket to Ride…

I asked a friend if I have too much “dance mom” energy around my 7yo. She assured me I don’t. I wasn’t sure. Then tonight (with one week of school left) I found out my daughter’s class has reading groups and she’s in the highest one. Welp. Good job, kid! I did less than nothing on that front.

“How was Girl Scout camp?” “Edith’s tooth didn’t stop bleeding all day, but Eleanor’s loose tooth almost fell out! So that’s some good tooth news.”

Day one of the 3-day weekend and I’ve already given up on dressing the baby.

I walked to Taco Bell for lunch today.

Did #Lumon write this? #UnhingedLinkedIn

Sleeping in your own bed after a trip is great, but have you ever handed your baby to their daycare teacher after a vacation?

Is the salmon great or is it covered in butter?

The baby sleeps great if you accidentally turn off the baby monitor at 2am.

This piece is titled “Baby is Sleep-Trained” 😅

I know kids are different from each other, but I didn’t anticipate how damp my second baby would be compared to my first.

I thought 8 boxes of Girl Scout cookies was too many, but then I ate an entire sleeve of thin mints last night.

ismy.blue More blue than green in my life.

Wingstop does an underrated French fry.

With the baby at nursery and me fully back to work, I welcome the return of “fake pants Friday” where I wear my Costco joggers to the office.