insurance makes you pay 12657816567527543563487436 dollars and then can't even keep their records straight and keeps sending you bills on something you already paid for a month ago

im really deep in a hating my family mood today and i want nothing more than to get out of here.

nothing more embarrassing than saying my ocd thoughts outloud "i can't share positive things publicly or ppl will wish me bad things and itll go wrong" girl what are u talking about

ive been really wanting to make my gluten free brownies or muffins but the last thing i wanna do is turn on the oven in this heat wave 😭

finally bought paralives. wtf these guys doing in my backyard

i wish i was an only child

i have been in a rlly weird headspace and haven't wanted to talk about positive things going on bc ocd and superstition, but ive been going okay and i hope everyone else is too

did an interview the other day but i was able to apply for a job i want a bit more today... hopefully they get back to me 🥺💚 i would be grateful for either though

its always really weird catching up with whatever the fuck gabbie hanna is up to nowadays because she reminds me SO MUCH of my abuser, like they might as well be the same person

guess who officially got her ocd diagnosis yday

me before: i might have ocd. idk. it might be a thing. can we explore this? maybe i don't or it's not that severe but i think it's worth talking over my physicians now: so would u be open to being in an ocd program instead. we think it would be best

sometimes there are perks to being short

when i was just beginning to question whether i had OCD, it was mentioned a lot to me that what matters most is how time-consuming it is. except, i have a LOT of avoidance compulsions, so that led to me think i couldn't have ocd - it's not time-consuming, it's time... eliminating

not really feeling like myself lately. i hope i adjust to this medication and it goes well, i need a win :(

decided to not practice self care and watched someone react to ned fulmer's "comedy" routine and i have not cringed that badly in a long time wow that was painful 😭 the funniest parts were everyone else clowning on him in their sets ASGFHJAGFSDG

trying to fill out ocd questionaires and i keep redoing my marks on the PDF to align them better with the boxes. do you think im gonna get a good grade

1 massive fuck u to my abuser for sharing my struggles w OCD to others as a way to make me seem unstable & to bring judgement my way the second I cut her off. she couldn't control me anymore, so their next course of action was to control how others see me using my personal struggles as a weapon. gfy

🥺🥺🥺 SOOOO CUTEEEE TY!

whenever anyone I know admits to using ChatGPT this appears above my head

any time i think there might be no good left in the world sb mowing shows up on my fyp 😭💚

very exhausted today I struggled to get proper sleep :( want nothing more than to just go back to bed

thinking about when i was actively in an spiral (which in hindsight was caused by ocd but at the time thought it was just anxiety) and my friend told me that if i keep assuming the worst of everything I'm just going to make that terrible thing happen. very good for the ocd. still haunts me

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHMYYYYYYYYGODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

rewatched Spirit recently and wanted to do a quick 2 hour background painting practice 🐎

sometimes (often) i wonder what my life would be like if i just had a better family

did prozac make me stupid i legit cant type anymore

i feel like ppl are so needlessly cruel and mean nowadays esp to those who are already struggling. let's practice having some compassion instead of being adult bullies to the mentally ill

realized my ocd might be the culprit for my struggles with art... 😭 anything this disorder hasn't ruined? im thinking it is actually responsible for a Lot

in group therapy today i said something and my group member went "mel u are so sweet so patient i dont think u have an angry bone in ur body i wish i had even a tiny bit of that" SAGFJHAFGDHGFSDHGDSG 😭💚 girl if only u knew what some ppl say about me. that means so much to hear

it is actually REALLY ironic that im desperately seeking reassuring that I have OCD and it isn't something I'm lying to everyone about. im not the only one who finds this rlly funny right

saw a tiktok a while ago where the poster was dealing with something so their partner and best friend drove together to come see them, and there were MANY people in the comments asking why they were together ... ? 😭 are straight ppl ok? let's develop some trust and healthy relationships

i love you wizard..... thank you. sorry this took so long I forgot to check my straw ><

seeing the person who permanently fucked up your mental health and your nervous system move on and live life and enjoy things and you're stuck in a neverending loop of healing that seems like it will never end and i will never get to live a life like that. they took my life but let me live

i hate you ocd

OMG!!!! FINALLY IM SO EXCITED IVE BEEN WAITING FOR 1.0 TO ACTUALLY PLAY IT

classic that my mom wants help with shit so i do my best to come with something but its never good enough and she decides to just do whatever she thinks is best anyway like >< then why did u waste my fucking time

absolutely love someone in my therapy group we're so similar and i feel like we get each other so much I wish she was there all the time but sometimes shes gone :( PLEAK

processing and healing from emotional abuse sucks eggs. i want to scream but also cry but also break things but also stare blankly at a wall. i think i have been having the hardest time continuing without closure

pride month #promosky! 🏳️‍🌈 hi, im mel! she/her, 25, lesbian interests: 🎮ffxiv (ft), endfield, tomodachi life ltd, minecraft, many others! 🧶art, books, crochet, music DNI: basic criteria, proship, ed/shtwt, minors for more info: melsie.straw.page follow for moots, selective fb! ♡/↻ appreciated!

sleep token infinite baths is a song i need to listen to at max volume as i lay on asphalt in the pouring rain

drawing back a Bit from social media. ive deactivated my pinterest and will likely delete my tumblr. ive recognized it can trigger and worsen my compulsions due to past traumas in regards to my abuse, and ive been trying to get my ocd under control for 25 years

follow amelia or else!!!!!

been fighting for my damn life trying to repel the carpenters bee from our unfinished porch with scents they don't like before my dad goes and does some lethal method to get rid of them :( guys pls stay away i want you guys to survive

ppl rlly don't realize how much being ugly fucks up ur entire life in literally every aspect

just realized 10 years ago i thought i would be somewhere so much different and so much better but i am actually in the exact same place if not worst and i fear in another 10 years its going to be exactly the same, if i even make it that far

finally been getting back into endfield after a much needed break and i forgot how much i love this game, the chars have sm charm 🥹

i feel like i need to keep talking about my abuse and my trauma to heal and work through it but im also unbelievably sick of doing so. i wish i could just reach inside me and rip all this pain out. i wish i could live a life where i was never abused

me too:( so eepy today. but i dont wanna go to sleep early bc thats my free time :(((( dammit

made my first gluten free loaf of bread today :D i haven't gotten to Truly taste it yet, but I've gotten a piece of the crust, and it's SO yummy. im really excited to try it with a sandwich tomorrow!