I guess im appropriately androgynous today cause every time i enter a public restroom someone does a double take and stares me down like im in the wrong place 😭

We made tier lists based on which marvel rivals characters we're most attracted to. Guess which ones mine (ez mode.... unless??)

I made nothing but good decisions tonight, i say, going to bed at nearly 5am despite the fact i need to wake up at like 3am tmrw night

HELPPPPP?/!,?/!,?/!.!

Thinking about every time a doctor or dentist solves their hand in my mouth without warning. They do it so casually and ig in a way it is for them but like. Is it not absurd that you're suddenly doing this with such great force??? HELPPPP

I used to have private vent accounts where id vent to 0 followers or maybe 1 or 2 trusted friends. And sometimes one of them would reply a few days later and itd be the funniest thing single every time 😭😭😭 like oh sorry that *was* dramatic of me huh i was just Extra ill that day mb 😭

Just rmbrd how in my first cytham fic, alhaitham comes over cyno's place late at night to annoy cyno (and hook up) so cyno frustratedly tops him in an attempt to ensure the cocky haitham finally shuts up. Yet somehow Haitham still ends up taming *Cyno*. He can't keep getting away with this.

I feel like i suddenly caught a cold and am five seconds from falling over (its the same goop that's always inside my body deciding to slightly spill out)

It's feral o'clock and i can't stop thinking about [loud static]. RELEASE ME!

🍁🦌🪢 Kazuhei thread ⬇️ Starting, of course, with Lumi throwing them into a pot of boiling oil, Kazuha struggling for his life while Heizou just vibes #kazuhei

Wait. I can just do this. I can just boot up blender and pose things for fun without the threat of having to finish anything or make it good or postable. I forgot.

I hate when i read one of my own unfinished multichapters and just as it starts getting unbelievably juicy I realize I didnt finish writing The Part i want to read.... and that means *i* have to do it. Curse you, past Xy!!! Stop giving current Xy all the hard work 😡😡

Wait. I... just had the silliest realization. Thats probably why romance in games is only effective for me if its a slow burn 😃 i.... i need time to get to know them and befriend them........ before i can start twirling my hair and enjoying it 😃

Just started reflecting on my life and how as a teen I had one person who it felt like i truly had a crush on in life, compared to how ive felt abt others and ...... what if all my copium isnt for naught. What if im demiromantic, not just demisexual..... what if im the whole fluidity package 😃

I am so cooked.... I cannot even express the thoughts my brain has cooked up this morning but they ARE insane.

Im actually so cooked i just sat in pure silence, pc off, staring at nothing for god knows how many minutes as i vividly daydreamed and melted into my chair like 😭

Recently ive been thinking about what itd be like to stop masking but im honestly pretty sure that if i did that i'd quickly become the most annoying person in my friends and family's vicinity and im not sure i can put them thru that 😭

My nose is still blocked rn but like. Its been block completely inside my head for so many years that the fact one nostril rn is able to breathe so deeply that i can feel it n the back of my throat is dizzying

It feels so silly being into Marvel Rivals esports. Like i finally truly feel OOOOOHHHHHH type excitement because i actually understand everything thats happening on screen and it DOES get hype 😭😭😭

I was wondering why my coworker had a costume on. ....I forgot what Oct 31st signifies 😭

Few things feel more humiliating than having to pee REALLY BADLY while out in public and ur only constant thought is "god what if i pee myself right now" over and over again until u finally are released from pee purgatory

Thinking about how my the other day i was petting my weetol cat and he wanted to give me a love bite so i moved my hand away in case he was overstimulated but then he grabbed my hand with his paw and pulled it closer so he could bite me anyway 😭😭 (and then demanded more pets)

Invisigal needs me.

Your unfinished multichapter fics aren't real. They can't hurt you.

Me posting a kazuha x heizou kinktober smutshot in 2025??? More likely than you'd think.... #kazuhei #heikazu 🔞🔞 archiveofourown.org/works/73066621

Guys if i upload heikazu today and its like a casually written fic n nowhere near close to my best work can we just pretend its Nice (im fragile)

I have actually GOT to write smut soon i think my brain is losing it from withdrawal

The urge to move away calls to me still..... i need to be freed from this rotation of Things but zero support system is terrifying to consider

Heard a phone dinging w text notifications nearby so i started looking around for my work phone cause i rmbrd that i turned the ringer on. I'll let u guess what I was already using as I heard the dings. 🤩

Sitting at my desk at work and started thinking about what it would be like to go to a place where multiple women were teasing me and doting on me and.... and.... gently dominating me........... so thank GOD someone immediately called me and interrupted that train of thought HELPPPPP 😭

Its Oct 21st and I have not written smut. Theres sm i need to do rn in general but what i NEED to do is get insane. Immediately.

Thinking about when i was at the drs office and the nurse asked if i was cold (assumedly bc i was wearing long sleeves) and i said "No. The sun hurts." and she went "...The sun hurts?" ...I did not in fact elaborate 😝😭

Just saw the date of the last fic i uploaded..... I have GOT to finish something omg

During the day I think up over million things to do when i get home from work only for me to get home and decide to relax 💔💔

Me, glancing at someone i would like to greet: oh they probably dont want to say hi to me i wont bother them Them, noticing me glance away: hey Xy!! Me: hi!! 🥰 [i guess they wouldnt have minded??] Also me: *does the same thing again the next day*

Thinking about when i cried on and off for hours after my dog died and it made my head hurt so much that i decided that was the Last day id be crying over him bc it hurt too much 😭😭😭😭😭

The universe is lucky i don't cuss because i would be saying some very big words to this stinky psych. I cannot wait until the day this saga is over !!!!!

Has anyone considered making days longer so that i can stay up late but also sleep a lot?? 🤨

OMG why did no one tell me its kinktober.

Just rmbrd i could literally buy instruments i want to play. I am an adult with money.

Ive been depressed since i became sentient so its hard to tell if i am or am not at current. But i do yearn to Do things and i actually *am* doing things so maybe thats a good sign

Just remembered that in the face of being successfully flirted with i become pathetic 💔 How was I ever a dom....

I was just thinking like "i understand when things are funny" but I've spent my whole life starting to laugh after everyone else to fit in like i literally open my mouth and smile and copy everyone constantly but that SEEMS typical?!?!?!?!??!?!

Guys..... what if i'm lying to myself about Definitely not being autistic as well 😭 Cause I'm certain I dont thanks to me having zero issues w social cues. Except. I have described many times how I literally spent my whole childhood Learning about humans and studying them and figuring out How to +

When i got diagnosed with adhd my psych stopped me as i was walking out of the door and went "Xy...? I hope when you start feeling better, you can go back to school." And it still makes me wanna cry HELPPP 😭😭

"If they wanted to they would" made a whole lot of sense to me right up until i became an adult and stopped Seeing people automatically. Like oh! If i wanted to......... i still couldnt 😃⁉️ For some reason⁉️⁉️

In all my year of working ive only called out twice for literal emergencies one of which i ended up going in anyway. thats how u know im a little rule abiding nerd scared of getting in trouble

I srsly think its so funny that our brains just confidently swing and miss 24/7. Like you'll drive past a blob in ur peripheral and ur brain's just like THERE WAS A DUDE W A UNICORN HORN ON HIS HEAD only for you to look over n see a shovel on top of a pile of dirt. Like why would u even guess that 😭

Rereading the early chapters of MSH and losing my mind theres no way succubus kazuha is this cute (he is)

Just remembered i have pupils so i decided to take a look at them and immediately regretted it. Like why are tiny pupils kinda scary 😰