It is the responsibility of the older sister to say things like this to the younger brother when he learns that your mother had a total hysterectomy many years ago. Cc: @crediblebs.bsky.social @theghostofbekzpast.bsky.social @joshuaerlich.bsky.social @katieherrmann.bsky.social

15 isn’t a child? Okay. Your daughter is out with a 40-year-old man. I’m assuming you’re good with that?

How are all of these people who I went to school with turning 40 when I clearly just turned 21?

Can someone show me where the trans women and drag queens are in the Epstein emails? Oh. So protecting “our daughters” was a dog whistle this whole time?! SHOCK. SHOCK I TELL YOU.

I get to go to bed with Idris Elba every night. That’s what I named my CPAP.

For the record, I am willing to lend the space laser to Marjorie Taylor Greene should that be helpful.

I’m in bed with a 175 pound male who is not my husband.

Do you think my kids are neurodivergent because I took Tylenol or because I can't wear socks that feel too "towel-ly" inside?

You cannot get autism over the counter.

You ever look around at the state of the world and think… fuck Jim Comey. Just me?

I actually made a list of all of the things that RFK JR doesn't know about healthcare. 👇🏼

You ask me to hate billionaires? On this, the day of Jeff Bezos’s wedding? Yeah, alright.

I don’t know how to explain this, but Jonathan Bailey’s glasses look so happy to be there.

I am not a violent person. I am not a competitive person. But I would cage match fight RFK Jr on national television for free.

I don't want my kids to have a preferred parent. I want them to know that we're both here for them all the time. We are a team. We both love them, and we will both unfailingly show up for them. It's not a competition. That said, all of our dogs should prefer me because I'm better.

Welp, my youngest just said “you can stay out there” when I took her potty at the restaurant we’re at and if you need me, I’ll be sobbing while humming “Sunrise Sunset” in the corner.

Reminder that all holidays are made up and you’re allowed to ignore them whenever you want.

My favorite words of wisdom from my dad that probably someone needs to hear right now. "Neurotransmitters are like bread. They’re preferable when fresh baked and homemade, but store bought work just as well in a pinch." Take care of yourselves.

You think you can’t hurt me? I wore jelly sandals on the 80s. You can’t hurt me.

Found my husband putting up cameras outside of the house. l asked why. "Well, since you're not likely to stop being all yourself on the internet, it seemed like a good time to add some extra security." Our marriage in a nutshell. I run my mouth and he just nods and buys more cameras.

I have worked tirelessly over the last several weeks to compile a comprehensive list of all of the expertise that RFK brings to his role as HHS Secretary. I want people to be clear on where he stands and the background that he brings to this role. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Yep. 👇🏼

I heard there’s a taco truck at the end of the parade route.

Trump, right now, is furiously calling the gutted National Weather service trying to figure out how to get them to turn off the rain

Trump would march in the parade but, you know, bone spurs.

Hey Mr. Arnstein, heeere I ammmmmm! This is a deep, deep cut.

If you enjoy me telling RFK to fuck himself, I did an entire deep dive video on YouTube of all of the ways that he can fuck himself

If you listen to Stephen Miller for one second, you know that his hairline is receding in protest.

"How can you joke at a time like this?" Darling, I started my dad's funeral with a joke. I can joke at a time like ANYTHING.

How have we not started calling this a Trumpster Fire?

Tell me you’re raising an anarchist who chooses violence without telling me.

No, those are my emotional support domain names that I bought impulsively because of a fleeting idea. I need those.

If you have autism or you are considering seeking diagnosis for autism and you're not sure what that means under RFK... I just posted a deep dive video about it to the Tubes of You.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I had to.

Did not have Elon and Donald being the messiest Pride Month break up on my bingo card, but I feel like we earned this.

Maybe having two drug-fueled, amoral sociopaths running the government was a bad idea?

Toby, Trump is getting his ass kicked by a Nazi! Ginger, get the popcorn!

Morgan Wallen looks like an uncharismatic Pepe Le Prawn.

Lemme get something straight... The weird one is the girl who likes to read and not the entire town that aggressively sing-talks shit about her when she is just trying to return a library book?

If we could get Grindr to activate the Amber alert system on all phones in DC with the app on them, we could take down the Republican Party. Picture Mike Johnson with his little gavel trying to get to his phone live on C-SPAN. It would be magic.

You know that story that floats around social media about the person who got a job at Starbucks just to get access all the recipes and then quit? That’s Elon Musk, but with the government.

The Venn Diagram of people who think you should be immediately deported for being undocumented because “it’s illegal” and the people who knowingly voted for a literal felon is a circle.

Trump seems really upset that people think he doesn’t follow through on the bluster. Maybe we should TACO ‘bout it.

Evening reminder that Kilmar Abgrego Garcia has fewer felony convictions than Todd Chrisley.

Listen, I am all for the idea of "eat the rich," but I'm just saying that I don't think ketamine tastes very good.

I hope this email finds you thinking about what you’ve done.

BREAKING: Images surface of Musk’s final confrontation with Trump. 👇🏼

Elon criticizing Trump and his budget bill. GINGER, GET THE POPCORN.

Nine Inch Nails is old enough now that they have to go to the podiatrist to get those trimmed, right?

Reminder that RFK Jr makes his money referring people for vaccine injury lawsuits. Rolling back recommendations for COVID vaccines for is creating a way to make it easier to sue doctors for recommending them should there be a complication. This, like everything this monster does, is ALL a grift.

Oh, you think Trump is the greatest president? Name his three best felonies.