Iran has 2x the population of Iraq and looks like this. A ground invasion is the absolute dumbest thing we could ever do.

They don't care about making the country better. They don't care about having a functioning immigration system. They don't care about law and order. They don't care about the constitution. They only care about dominating the country to enforce white supremacy and enrich themselves.

Anybody else seeing Eddie Redmayne? #physint #kojima

So can we like regulate guns better now? Please?

I am so fucking proud of myself and I know it's just a video game but fuck man, that was *tough*!

all that technology and all they did is reinvent nothing, forever

Somebody forgot diapers

You guys can complain all you want. I've been doing very specific, tiny-screwdriver-related exercises in preparation for this for years. My era is about to begin!

we did it!

even right wing podcasters don't like the CR

These people think that the biggest thing you can suffer through in life is a temporary embarassment. We are watching as constitutional rights get stripped away from the American public. Absolute ghoul.

Scientists scramble to rename black widows after break in funding causes thousands to be unleashed directly into Elon Musk's hair.

Creepy morning I had today

You say "climate change is bad." I say "Maybe we can make some money if we charge sea lions to visit Disneyland."

You would think that Trump would have a bigger problem with birth*left* citizenship.

I had an AI write my term paper and I'm proud to announce that "Why you shouldn't unplug me" just got me a C+ #AIwin!

The wealthy have fully hijacked this country, after decades of only fully getting their way and committing every crime imaginable. 🎉

What's next? Snubo merging with Yabu?! Blocking the Pabu lawsuit???

Looking forward to Joe Rogan and Ben Shapiro finally getting to wait in a small room for hours only to learn nothing. They've finally made the big leagues!

You would figure somebody with such strong healthcare convictions wouldn't be caught dead in a McDonald's.

I have recently discovered what soup dumplings are, and I think all food should now be contained inside of another

Please don't sing along with Wicked if you watch it in the movie theatre, do what the rest of us do: nervously belt it out in the shower when nobody else is home, followed by giving yourself a singular thumbs-up in the mirror

With the new Sabrina Carpenter Christmas Special and Nicole Kidman's 50Shades-esque A24 film coming out, we are officially leaving Brat Summer and entering Horny Winter

At this point, Trump's Cabinet is going to end up like the one in that Narnia book where all the kids climbed inside and disassociated themselves into a fantasy world to escape the harsh reality of WW2 Britain

"Climate change is fine!" affirms dolphin swimming past now-sunken Disneyland

"This isn't an echo chamber," affirms Elon Musk, after shouting at his cell phone and hearing nothing back out of it.

"Climate change is fine," claims eager seagull after gorging on abandoned plate of rocky mountain oysters

The Trump Administration should be praised for their support of the working class, with recent news pointing at incoming AG Matt Gaetz's high level of interest in miners.

I don't see what problem people have with Bibles being used in the classroom. I can think of many different configurations of furniture that you can build using Bibles upon which children can learn.

Trump's plan to solve crime: If you don't record that it happened, it's like it never happened

You've heard of Obamacare? Let me introduce you to Trump's alternative: a dumpster full of medical waste and raccoons you just kinda scrounge around in

"Climate change is fine," declares naturally unfrozen caveman enjoying Pornhub

Average San Diegan

Fact check: true

I don't know who needs to hear this, but drop the potato. If anybody did need to hear this, please comment so I know who it affected. I'm really invested now and curious if these kinds of updates would be more useful going forward.